DARE YOU CALL WOMEN WEAK!

I want to be with my baby, but I pick up my bag and head to work

I want to spend some time with my husband, but I prepare my kid’s uniform and school bag for the next day

I want to let my hair down and relax but the sink full of dishes is waiting for me

I want to call in sick at work but there is an important presentation with the leadership team

I want to binge watch web series but a trip to the grocery store is long due

I want to go out with my friends but there is no one to look after the house

I want to sleep in over the weekend but kids and husband have demanded a special breakfast

There is a lot that I want to do but I ALWAYS put my responsibilities first.

No – I am not seeking sympathy. I do it out of choice. I do it out of love.

WOMEN ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO CHOOSE OTHERS OVER THEIR DESIRES when
necessary.
WOMEN ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO LIVE OTHER’S DREAM
WOMEN ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO STAND UP LIKE A ROCK WHEN YOU SHATTER
DARE YOU CALL THEM A WEAKER SEX!
Women are strong, because they can continue doing selfless things for their whole life and yet not complain but dare you take them for granted.

I like how this gender equality awareness is gaining momentum these days,but few things never change because of the innate nature of the gender. I don’t mean to say that men cannot do the above things, but history is a witness to how things have always been. They still continue to be like that in most parts of the world.

But hey, let’s break the image of “Abla Naari”. Today, women are fiercely independent and they have the power to choose whether they want to do what they are expected to do. And yet they continue to choose everything else over them even today – That’s the beauty of womanhood.

Not just this, they have assumed a lot more responsibilities at domestic and career front yet they balance just everything. They are not helpless any more. They don’t need your sympathy, but yes, they do long for some respect from you. They are not a weaker sex any more. 

The first step towards gender equality is accepting that women are capable, strong and intelligent. Are we ready yet? For me, the true gender equality will set in when women are asked for their opinions in family decisions, when a husband seeks advice from his wife, when they are allowed to eat along with all the family members, when the birth of a girl is not frowned upon, when a poor father does not have to mortgage his land and house for the dowry, when girls are sent to schools along with their male siblings, when no woman is burnt alive, raped or victimised for dowry, when the girls are not traded for flesh.

Now tell me, World are we ready for #genderequality?

 

WHY THE HULLABALOO OVER WOMEN’S DAY?

On November 19th last year, I wished my male fellows as it was International Men’s day. One of them was taken by surprise, so much that he went gaga over my wishes. No wonder after all these years, we have been celebrating Women’s Day with great pomp and show, while Men’s Day is getting recognized slowly. I feel the celebration of Women’s Day is more of the previous guilt that people have inside them for taking the feminine power for granted.

Favouring sons over daughters, wishing the birth of boys instead of girls, making the world a better place for men than women, this gender discrimination was and is still being
witnessed in many parts of the world. My dad tells me that when I was small, I used to feel angry if in any television show, the mother-in-law made a face over the birth of a girl. I used to ask my parents, “Why do the eunuchs come for the custom of badhaai (congratulatory ceremony) only when a boy is born?” I used to often laugh at the older generations who used to make a queue of baby (girl) births for the want of a boy!

As I grew older, I was very much sure that our generation is going to knock down this
practice of wishing and celebrating ‘son birth’ only. But I was wrong. In spite of the
educated lot, including many women today still prefer a son because of some silly reasons.
“It’s so difficult for a girl to roam around freely. It’s so unsafe these days.”
“It’s always a burden to have a girl, so many expenses on her marriage you know.”
“You don’t have a girl na, you won’t understand.”
It’s a plight to know their state of mind.

In a study by the University of Virginia in 2011, researchers concluded that women were 47% more likely to get hurt in car crashes due to the car safety features which were designed keeping men in mind. The features neglected the varied musculature, neck strength, height, preferred seating position of women, making them more vulnerable to injuries. Why?

Is that only men drive and women don’t?
Is it because women are born with safety features, unlike men?
Then, why this perspicacity?

The discrimination is in their pay-scales too. Assuming that women will not easily quit
because of their family responsibilities, they are taken for granted and paid less as compared to women. This pay-gap is visible in film industry too. Renowned Bollywood actress Kangana Ranaut says, “My male counterparts are paid thrice the amount. No one can guarantee the success of a film so why such discrimination?” 

Women are still considered as economic burden in many households, even if they are
economically independent. It’s an irony that a woman is addressed to as the weaker sex,
despite the fact that she leaves her parents after marriage, works at home and manages office too, carries a baby inside her, goes through terrible labor pain and the post-partum trauma. Still the weaker sex?

I feel Women’s Day is more of a hullabaloo.

I don’t need a reserved seat in the metro.
I can stand too.
I don’t need a special quota either.
I can work hard too.
Just give me the equal status.                                                                                                                               I am also like you.

FREE INDIA: I BURNT YOUR HOUSE BECAUSE YOU BURNT MINE

Today is India’s 69th Republic Day.

69 years ago we gave ourselves the Constitution and swore to abide by it as honest, progressive and peace-loving citizens. 69 years hence we are doing everything but that.

We are now a nation that not only endures but covertly even encourages religious bigotry, self-righteous vandalism, myopic sexism and ruthless rioting. Certain sections of our citizens have learnt that the Constitution is actually a toothless tiger. Worse still, some of our countrymen believe that it exists only so that it may allow them the freedom to engage in vandalizing properties, killing their own countrymen, abusing each other’s religious sentiments, violating our men, women and children and terrorizing their own brethren over trivialities like a movie!

This anger in my writing is a reaction towards the fringe mob attack on a school bus which was conveying children to their homes. The mob was protesting the release of the controversial movie, Padmaavat, in Gurugram, India, and had preiously burnt a State Transport bus before setting eyes on the school bus. Those of you who yet do not know of the attack, please head to this link and see the horror for yourself. And those of you who want to know why there are protests over the movie Padmaavat, please click on this link.

Anger swamped me when I first saw the video on a news channel and I’m sure this is the same emotion that must have overcome you while you were watching that video through the link above. These were innocent, harmless children, some as young as 4 – 6 years old, who were heading home from school, while their bus was assaulted with stones and sticks by an unruly mob whose only reason to protest was the release of a movie that depicts a character from folklore…okay, maybe history, but that character is very much dead.

I repeat – this was a ‘moving school bus carrying children‘.

Thankfully there were no casualties, but what if there were? What if the driver got hurt while he was driving, leading to an accident… and deaths? How does attacking children resolve the issue for these rioters? Where do we draw the line between the right to protest and heedless vandalism? If you have watched the video you may have noted the newscaster’s anger and she is right in pointing out, ‘These could have been my children, these could have been your children’. But it’s not just about whose children these were. The bigger question is how do you justify attacking an alive human being over a piece of fiction?

Sometimes I feel freedom is wasted on us Indians because we don’t just misuse it, we abuse it. This is not the only case of abuse of freedom that we have seen within the last one year itself in India. The very start of the year was besmirched by the infamous mass molestation of women in Bangalore on New Year’s Eve, followed by equally shocking incidents like the inter-religious attacks over the beef ban issue, the Bhima Koregaon attack and the northern India riots over Godman Ram Rahim Singh’s rape conviction. But these are bigger transgressions in the name of freedom. How about everyday abuse of freedom – in the blatant violations of traffic rules; in our stubbornness in finding loopholes in the law; in our netas not only supporting but propagating vandalism and unlawfulness; in our ‘chalta hai‘ and ‘jugaadu‘ attitude for everything; in a person spitting or peeing on public property because he can and because there’s no one to put a check on him?

The above instances prove that we have not only no regard for the law, but also that it has become the agitated Indian’s habit to take to the streets and cause mayhem, sometimes going to the extent of drawing blood, in the name of religion, cult, culture and gender? Throughout these incidents, the Police were powerless, the governments inert while the opposition is either muckraking or fuelling the agitation.

What use is the Constitution? What use are these words contained in the Preamble:

JUSTICE, social, economic and political; LIBERTY of thought, expression, belief, faith and worship; EQUALITY of status and of opportunity; and… FRATERNITY assuring the dignity of the individual and the unity and integrity of the Nation…

These are just words if we Indians do not internalize them and base our lives upon these ideals enshrined in the Constitution. My fellow Indians, remember, we are lucky that we have the freedom to do as we please, to go where we want, to worship who we want and to practice what we want. There are many other nations out there where freedom is not freedom in the real sense of the word; where you may be free to breathe, but death is considered a better option. Consider yourself lucky that you are born in a country where tolerance is not just an ideal but a way of life. But in your lust for freedom do not forget that you are part of a bigger thing – you are a nation. You, your beliefs and your actions are what shape your nation. The future of us, our children, will have the same beliefs as you do. Give them a better lesson than violence and intolerance.

Freedom does not mean that you do as you please. If every one of us was free to do as we pleased, we would have anarchy. Freedom comes with a responsibility – that of respecting the freedom and well-being of others. If you don’t respect the right’s of other’s, why will other’s respect your rights? If you have burnt someone’s house to the ground citing religious freedom as the reason, remember tomorrow your house could be the victim of someone else’s right to religious freedom.

Violence does not need a reason but remember that you only reap what you sow.

This Republic Day, let’s take a vow to be responsible citizens. To bring out differences and resolve them by dialogue and not violence. To practice freedom but not out of malice and indifference towards the freedom of others. To abjure inhumanity, intolerance and deviant behaviour that harms the people of this country and the ideals of our forefathers. Citizens, compatriots, this Republic Day vow to rise above your menial differences and become better human beings.

Jai Hind!

Image Source: Catchnews

THE DREAM OF A FREE CITIZEN

The dream to tread on the free soil of their beloved motherland was a dream left unfulfilled for the countless named and unnamed martyrs of India’s freedom struggle. Long nights of intensive strategising, violent and non-violent protests, famous slogans like ‘Go back Simon’, ‘Quit India’, ‘Give me blood and I will give you freedom’, boycotts and satyagrahas, non-cooperation movements and Round Table Conferences finally gave way to the jubilation of independence. The epic speech of the first Prime Minister of independent India, Pt. Jawaharlal Nehru in the Parliament on the eve of India’s independence towards midnight, as the hour hand and the minute hand shook hands to welcome 15^th August, 1947 began thus –

“Long years ago we made a tryst with destiny, and now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge, not wholly or in full measure, but very substantially. At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom…..”

What a joyous moment it would have been for those involved in the freedom struggle to breathe the air of their free motherland!!

Today, as we celebrate the 71^st Independence Day, we have indeed come a long way. The freedom to emphatically run across the length and breadth of this independent nation with one’s head held high has been long realised. The freedom to own property, the freedom to sow and to reap, the freedom to manufacture, the freedom to buy and sell – has put India among the mighty nations of the world.

From a shattered economy, today India finds its name resounding along with the topic economies of the world. From widespread illiteracy to a decent 74.04% (as in 2016) of literacy of a diverse population amidst various stigmas to education, is no less a feat. The development from crippled industries and roadways to world-class industrial establishments and posh highways, is yet another achievement worth celebrating. From the years of famine and agricultural disappointments to the era of Genetic Engineering and numerous Food Revolutions, the progress sure deserves applause. Speak of Science and Technology we have the likes of Mangalyaan and the Chandrayaan to boast of.

The India echoed in the national song is truly an India witnessed today by the present generations – ‘Sujalam suphalam malayaja sheetalam Shasyashyamalam’. 

“Yet the turning point is past, and history begins anew for us, the history which we shall live and act and others will write about. A new star rises, the star of freedom in the east, a new hope comes into being, a vision long cherished materializes.” – said Pt. Nehru in his speech to the nation seven decades ago. 

As the star of freedom rose, Indians celebrated the independence from foreign rule. No longer were they subjects under Dominion rule. No longer were their wings clipped down. No longer were sons and daughters required to be martyrs. It was the time of self-rule. With their loins girded, the intellectual think-tanks set to give to Indians the exclusive rights of citizenship. The new found freedom was indeed a prized possession earned with much sweat and blood.

“May the star never set and that hope never be betrayed by.” – remarked Jawaharlal Nehru in his address to the nation that significant night. 

The India of today, is a great example of unity in diversity. Diverse languages, religions and ethnicities have made India what it is.

But, the heart sinks as one witnesses the numerous threats to this hard-earned freedom!

The freedom that was reaped by a largely non-violent struggle is subject to vagaries of untold violence in the names of caste, sex, religion and ethnicity. The freedom of speech and expression provisioned by the Constitution has started being stifled to the extent of being silenced forever. The freedom to ‘profess, practice and preach’ the religion of one’s choice is being brought under the hammer with a heavy hand.

The unique blend that makes up India is under the threat of distortion in the pretext of Indianisation.

Social, economic and scientific development never happens overnight, and India is marching ahead in all these aspects. The future is indeed prosperous for this nation. No doubt about it!

But, what about the soul of India?

“We shall never allow that torch of freedom to be blown out, however high the wind or stormy the tempest.” – said Nehru in his speech that night.

However, as the days go by it seems that the torch of freedom is on its way to being blown out – this time not by foreign rule, but by self-rule. The fetters that bind and the guns that shoot, the hatred that boils the blood and claims the lives of innocents, the hands that discriminate and strangle the underprivileged – belong to the high and mighty fellow citizens.

Was it for this type of a free nation that precious lives were sacrificed years ago? Where are the lofty ideals of:

JUSTICE, social, economic and political;

LIBERTY of thought, expression, belief, faith and worship;

EQUALITY of status and of opportunity; and to promote among them all

FRATERNITY assuring the dignity of the individual and the unity and integrity of the Nation

We have so developed a ‘chalta hai’ attitude for everything that happens around us that misgivings don’t seem to be misgivings any more. Corruption? It happens every where! Domestic violence? What’s new in that! Hatred for neighbouring countries? That’s how it has always been! Dominance of the upper caste? That’s the societal norm!

The soul screams – ‘When will man respect man as man?’

Till we have fixated identities of sex, caste, religion, ethnicity, language and economic status of the people living around us, our perception will never be free. The shackles of intolerance, ignorance and apathy need to be broken down so as to be replaced with tolerance, awareness and compassion.

Not that these fetters are unique to free India alone, but the heart-cry of an emancipated soul is to see one’s nation soar high and high way – above the rest – to see the tricolour fluttering high in the breezy sky. As Nobel laureate Rabindranath Tagore penned –

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

Yes, into that heaven of freedom, let India awake.

Jai Hind.

 

 

 

LET’S LEARN TO RESPECT OUR DIFFERENCES

In today’s world, discrimination seems unavoidable. We see it all around us and face it at times. Whatever the discrimination might be,  this insane gesture of ours is not only effecting the person facing it, but also people related to him/her.

As I was given the opportunity to write the concluding note on this week’s topic: “Why Discrimination?” I would like to share few things from my own experiences. 

During a session with parents of disabled children at a renowned Mental Health Institute in Bangalore, I came across facts that were very disturbing. All the children of these parents have neural disorders, due to which the kids cannot communicate with other people normally, brain development deteriorates as they grow.

One parent, a lady said after her son was born, her husband deserted her. Her family treated her no different. She was denied accommodation at several rented places because of her son’s condition. She slept under trees for many days.

Another couple, said they belonged to a high society family. Even after having people who are well educated in their family, they were treated no different. They were not invited to any family functions. None of their family members visit their home.

One more couple said that, if their daughter approaches anyone nearby, they move away from her. She is not suffering with any contagious disease. It really hurts us, when we see that our child is not accepted by anyone.

The group of parents support each other financially, mentally and socially. But, did that solve the problem ?, may be , yes to some extent. Is there a need for those innocent small kids to be discriminated? On what basis do we discriminate? Any perceived behavior or appearance that is different from us, in fact “ME”, is subject to discrimination.  How is this  act of discriminating so deep rooted? Are we brought up to discriminate?

After reading Prabhjot’s article, I want to pen my learning around how house maids are treated at my home. Both my parents were working, which meant my primary care giver is a nanny.  I recollected how my parents treated her. She was just like our family member. I was encouraged to play with her kids, eat along with them. I remember taking blessings from my nanny for every birthday of mine. She cooks, cleans, washes our clothes and guess what , seems I enjoyed doing all these along with her. When I met her a couple of years ago, she shared all the funny things I used to do as a kid. She also told that after we moved to a different city, she was never treated the same way as we treated her. It moved me completely. By this, my parents have taught me that all of us are same.

From childhood, if parents or care givers tell kids , things that make them see people in a different light, they will grow up with that idea, and it may be difficult to correct when they are adults. Parents must set good examples in their attitude, words and behaviors.It is very important that you realize that the world is a very big place. People do things differently and are brought up differently. That means what you think is cool may not be so for another person, because of where they come from. Being different is a good thing. Can you imagine, how the world would be if every human was just like you?

Finally, concluding on this subject I want to encourage by saying that the world we live in is getting smaller as we get to travel around the world in just a few hours. We meet people of various backgrounds, races, cultures. Let us learn to appreciate diversity and respect people who are different in any way. People may be disabled, transgender, dark-skin or have a different hair color. No one chose to be that way.

One MUST learn to respect others, just as he/she would like others to respect them for who they are…

Author’s Bio: Aastha, a young, agile & talented techie who has an immense passion in writing. She writes from her heart and is a person who loves to connect with people through her write ups. Her disciplined and organised lifestyle have made it possible for her to write articles in her busy schedules. She can be contacted and visited at her blog: PenningEnigma.