THE SEARCH ENGINE SAGA

Do you know what is Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?

Even I didn’t until I searched the web for the longest word in dictionary. Yes, and I am sure you will have googled it too! That’s what we all have been doing in the smartphone era and will continue to do so. 

Search engines proved to be an easy access to all the information, that too on our fingertips. All information here refers to the mass- good or bad, positive or negative. Sometimes we get the result in just the top results, else it is like manually searching for a particular tree bark in the jungles of Amazon. Last year, we all were so paranoid with the new pandemic causing disease that ‘coronavirus’ was the most searched word on Google in 2020, as expected.

As I also mentioned in my old article, “When In Doubt, Just Google”, getting information about a particular thing is easy and can be misleading also. When I was expecting my first child, I got chickenpox, that too for the first time in my life. The doctor told me not to worry, yet I searched all over the internet about what all negative effects it can have on the foetus, getting all the more anxious and restless. “Stop searching the net”, my brother warned me as he explained that whatever information the search engines have are given by the users only, citing that if he had a headache after eating sweets, he would mention it on any XYZ website and when a person like me would come across, he/she will believe that if I eat sweets, I will get a headache.

I recently gifted a dictionary to my 9-year-old, as I realised that I was setting up a bad example of using the search engines too often. ‘Creative search’, using your mind is better than an ‘easy search’. So, now if you hit that search button, just pause and think if it’s really needed or not.

WHEN LIFE HANGS FOR SOMETIME

We all have experienced the gruesome waiting time when our computer hangs or freezes. Haven’t we thought of throwing our system in the gutter or kicking it off our table? How many times we have banged our working table in sheer impatience? How many times we have pressed the reset or reboot button to restart our pending work? How many times we felt apprehensive about losing our unsaved data when when the system doesn’t respond to our cries and pleas?

Similarly, we all hate it when everything ceases to work momentarily, obstructing our smooth functioning lifestyle – household or work. We really feel frustrated when we know what is to be done yet we are unable to move ahead. We feel as if our life has frozen or hung for sometime and we are unable to move ahead. It is a horrible experience.

The year 2020-2021 was a deadly year for me. There were problems after problems from all sides, pressing me down and forcing me to succumb to my vulnerabilities. Starting from the hospitalization for Pneumonia in the month of February 2020 till the time I suffered with second episode of hemoptysis (spitting of blood) in February 2021, I remained weak, sick and extremely vulnerable. Moreover, the deaths of relatives and friends and the fear of getting infected with Corona virus myself was all the more stressful and depressing. Added to my problem there was my inability to go to the office, work for long hours or efficiently and the taunts and scolding of insensitive people around me were all very heavy for me.

I felt literally hung in my life – unable to decide or move ahead.

Unfortunately, we humans don’t have a restart or reboot button like computers and mobiles have to get rid of the state of being frozen or hung in the middle of a serious work or life issue.

When I faced with newer health complications, I decided to quit my job but when to do it, how to do it, I didn’t have any idea. There were a lot of obstructions and hurdles to cross before I just called it a quit as we all know winding up is not an easy thing in any manner. And I didn’t want to end things on a bad note. I have always wanted and believed in building relationships; breaking them is something indigestible for me. There were many inputs from my well wishers all around me – whispering to do this and do that, but I remained quiet and held on to my resilience and patience.

I patiently waited on the Lord and His timing, trusting the promise – He says, “Be still, and know that I am God“. Knowing God personally, knowing His heart and knowing what He can do is such a soothing and comforting feel. I was so troubled yet I was so peaceful in Him. And when His appointed time came, He prompted me to press on the reset (quick and quit action) button. Now, I am free, relieved and happy at home, writing this article. 🙂

Am I free from problems? Are all the problems gone? NO, not at all. I have more complications for my blood and cardiac issues, I need to arrange finance for my living, I need engagements to keep my mind occupied, I need this and that to stay alive in real sense before I am called home. But you won’t believe how happy and jubilant I am being here at home without the stress of life.

Friends! Remember, when life hangs or freezes in the middle, stay still and know that He is God. Be patient to get back to your active life instead pressing many other panic buttons and suffer.

Stay Blessed!

TAILORED FITTING

I cut the norms,
a shortie me;
was drowning in it

The gossips,
I made it sleeveless,
was not in its favour of doing the rounds

My ego,
I made it backless;
didn’t want it getting the support of the wall & creeping all over

My self-respect,
I made it ankle length;
wanted it to pick up & run, should anyone try to mangle it

I put on a baggy smile,
that way, it would be easier for my sorrows to be swallowed

I’ve assembled the pieces
to a perfect fit,
I hope you all do too.
Happy tailoring 😊

THINKING NOT TO OVERTHINK

Embarking on a new journey must be an exciting one, right? How according to you is settling into a new city? Would involve a lot more responsibility, isn’t it? And what about starting a new session, joining a group of completely different people, entering into a new year, or go on a solo trip, etc.? Must be fun enough. Well for me this year it’s all at a time. I didn’t even realize how steadily my school days passed and I entered into my dream college. So obviously, with this new year comes a sense of responsibility, resolutions, planning and ideas, and a lot more than expected.

From the past few days of my life, I am recollecting hundreds of memories of mine just to figure out what went wrong somewhere. Why couldn’t I achieve what I wanted to? Could I be in a better place? Is what am I doing good enough? Shall I be at peace? Will I be happy reminiscing the time and place where I am now? And the list goes on and on. By now, many of you might have understood what my problem is. Yeah, it is ‘overthinking’ indeed.

People who know me well are of the opinion that my face says it all. However, it’s not every time they are right. I’m a very sensitive person actually. I take time to open up and don’t speak much though I am fluent when it comes to writing. I do raise my voice in public whenever in need but beyond that, you would always find me calm. A peace-loving girl I am and not much into social media, group chats, etc. Many of the people who see me upset don’t bother much thinking it’s none of their business, some of them do want to take the initiative but they don’t; thinking I should share it myself and that hardly happens. Only a very few of the people who believe in giving rather than taking dare to ask and help me out with what I’m going through.

And I want to change this habit of mine. I don’t want to seek any empathy from people. Overthinking is what makes the situation worse. Instead of finding a way out of the problem, it pushes you into the well deeper and deeper. You even begin visualizing the things that have not even happened in real. Your focus remains limited to the problem and doesn’t shift to the solution. You don’t feel like doing anything, cry out for no absolute reason and end up hurting yourself, and everyone around you. That’s the reason why you don’t have a group of friends to accompany you in whatever you do and wherever you go and you distant yourself from your family as well. I want to give up on such emotions and habits of mine. I wanna enjoy my life to the fullest, trying out new things, traveling and visiting new places, make good connections with everyone around me, and helping somebody in need.

So in this new year, I have decided to stop watering the dead relations that didn’t stand the test of time. Better to take the next step and let it go. Holding on to something that’s not yours would only hurt your self-esteem. For any problem in life put in your best efforts and never ever think about the results. Believe in yourself, learn to say no, and overcome your fears, meditate, take a deep breath, connect to God, and surrender. And yeah, one more thing to take into consideration is never caring what other people say. Their actions should not affect you.

In Closing, I would also like to share a beautiful quote by Erma Bombeck,

“Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.”

DROPPING DOWN MY CAMOUFLAGE

It would be deceptive if I won’t pen my flaws down

All the time, each human appears in their exceptional camouflage. Isn’t it? Though this French slang “camouflage” was included in common English during World War I, as it was the well-known military visual deception combat tactic of that time yet it won’t be wrong to say, this habit is deeply rooted in human nature since its existence. Whether it is about penning or preaching, we prefer to take the reference of our good human nature. Mostly we prefer to hide our bad habits, evil thoughts, and devilish lifestyle. Of course, who wants to be off from the good book! The Bible perfectly frames it –

“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?”

But pathetic part of our camouflage lifestyle “we cannot hide the REAL ME from self.” Such one from many bad things inside of me – MY TONGUE!

The scripture puts it this way, “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” And going deeper it says, “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” In one-liner – whatever there is in our heart is expressed through our tongue.

In a few hours, I will be stepping into a new year with many hopes, many new professional life strategies, some new plans for personal life but as I take a flashback tour, one of the biggest struggles, I had through this year is “controlling my tongue” which of course resulted in hurting, breaking hearts, and unpleasant and unnecessary situations. Alongside I need to reason what made me fail in controlling my tongue.

THE EGO – None of we human will ever desire to fail or find the self as less important at any place. Desiring always to be at the upfront, our ego gets a hit if we find ourselves blamed or ignored. As the repercussion of such experience, the haughty spirit within us impulsively bashes upon our counterparts. Being arms down and blamed, our heart speaks out rudely and hurts others. Since every action comes has its own reaction, how can we run away without facing the terrible consequences? That’s why the Bible warns,

“A quiet mind is the life of the body, BUT ENVY IS A DISEASE IN THE BONES.”

THE ANGERMy mom and my sibling always tell me; you know you might not punch someone at his face but the words of your mouth can easily pierce the heart and bones, which is hard enough to forget in a lifetime. And my Uncle suggested to me whenever you feel anger, run away from the situation, have an alone ride, and chill your mind by eating some delicious food. It might be an instant relief from anger. But reasoning the anger, often when we feel tempered, the ME inside of me goes wild and does all that possible to punish the causer and prove justice by self-attempt. Our tempered mind weakens our ability of reasoning and quickens our haughty spirit. The tendency of which is, we spurt unethical and immoral words that victimize others.

Being our Creator and Sustainer, God understands our physical inability to control anger. That’s why God of the Bible suggests us,

“If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin, and do not stay angry all day. Moreover, don’t give in to worry or anger; it only leads to trouble. He who is slow to anger is better than a warrior, and he who controls his temper is greater than one who captures a city. “

BEING TALKATIVERecently, one of my good friends lovingly said, “you always love to explain things. I can understand your fear of the misinterpretation of your words and thoughts. Yet it would be much better if you would prepare your mind with a concise script what exactly you need to share.” As evidence to his counsel, recently in one of my meetings, in the flow of my talk, I just posed the right word at the wrong time which literally made my presentation faulty. As a result, the meeting didn’t fulfill the agenda. I realize the Bible says, “The more talk, the less truth; the wise measure their words.”

Concluding, I would say to myself, “CONTROL YOUR TONGUE” because the Bible says, “THE PRUDENT HOLD THEIR TONGUES.”

Be Prudent!

LOCK ‘EM DOWN AND KNOCK ‘EM AWAY

Lock ’em down and knock ’em away

Your disdainful ego and pompous arrogance

 

Lock ’em down and knock ’em away

Those vile vices that you so hold dear

 

Lock ’em down and knock ’em away

Your raging fury and mindless vandalism

 

Lock ’em down and knock ’em away

Those clingy weights that pull you low

 

Lock ’em down and knock ’em away

Your venomous desire to settle scores and avenge

 

Lock ’em down and knock ’em away

Those discriminatory attitudes of racism, sexism and communalism

 

Lock ’em down and knock ’em away

Your unbelief and self-aggrandizement

 

Lock ’em down and knock ’em away

Those blind superstitions and irrational dogmas

 

Lock ’em down and knock ’em away

Your gossip mongering and jealousy

 

Lock ’em down and knock ’em away

The bitching and backbiting

 

Lock ’em down and knock ’em way

The sins you are enslaved to

 

While you are locked down against a life-threatening virus

Take time to introspect in a moment being serious

 

Count not the ephemeral losses that you may incur

‘coz those you anyway would lose one day

 

Unlock the treasures of the soul

That will make you contented and whole!

 

ADVICE THAT I RETAIN – NOT EGO, BUT PATIENCE AND LOVE

Proud millennials that we are, we have witnessed many changes in life. We have seen the world change – things going from bad to worse. We have seen the changing meaning of life and the relationships that come along with it – the way individual family life has become. When we compare our childhood to that of our children, we see a striking change which feels dark. During our childhood, we shared beautiful meaningful relationships with our grandparents and relatives. Children today, hardly get to see their grandparents. Relatives aren’t even in their range of social togetherness.
With slow, frequent and ultimate changes in one’s relationship, we have become more adaptive, strong and emotionless. In all these processes our brain has lost its efficiency as well. It doesn’t think about others and loses synapses when others talk either making us irritated or very less responsive or totally blank. By losing our control over our senses, one most obvious things comes into play. That is our ego!
Almost all the time we use our ego to save us from unpleasant situations and discussions. It makes us look cool, that is what we think. Our pride feeds on our ego. It gives us a sense of satisfaction when we win the argument. When we win a losing situation by putting our ego in effect, we lose the person whom we are fighting with. My parents once advised me saying, “Never bring your ego to any relationship you build, because in the game of ego, the winner is always the loser.”
Our ego kills the love of our loved ones. It breaks bonds, relations and even families. It’s definitely takes more than a person to build a family but it takes only a person’s ego to break that family. My parents also said, “never lose patience and be more adaptive to any changes that happen to you and your surrounding because good things take time.”
I have made use of both pieces of advice every now and then and have experienced a lot of things which has in turn, made me a more responsible, strong and patient woman of family. It helps me get adapted to the changes, makes me more patient towards different situations and helps me see through different perspectives of life.