DON’T STOP KNOCKING, THE DOOR WILL BE OPENED SOMEDAY

I reached the crossroads where I had to choose between living and dying. I chose to live.

Imagine the life of a woman who fell in love with a man and left her parents for him, at the rebellious age of 17. Her love story had a disastrous end when she left her abusive husband who was also a drunkard and a drug addict. With no finances, apart from her two children as assets,  she had arrived at the life’s crossroads. She chose to live and is now an independent flourished businesswoman.

She is Patricia Narayan,  director of Sandeepha Chain of restaurants in Chennai. Starting with a negligible income of 50 paise per day,  her earning has touched ₹2 lakh per day. She started with making and selling jams and pickles, and now owns a restaurant chain. It’s all because of her determination to live and succeed. She didn’t give up at any point and continued to struggle.

We often arrive at that point in life where we are clueless to go. The life comes to a standstill and we think that this is just the end. It’s easy to give up and wait for the right time. But, to keep working hard and not giving up is difficult.

Above-cited is just one example. There are so many people in real life whose hard work,  determination and the ‘never give up’ attitude has made rags to riches, misery to success stories.

Try finding out such heroes near you. Someone might be struggling at the workplace, someone might be having a terrible marriage or someone might even be working hard to earn a loaf of bread for the family. The point is they don’t stop doing their work but, keep on working harder and harder. They don’t blame the destiny for their ill-fate,  but try to make their own future by finding a way out.

So,  keep knocking that door. Who knows the door may be answered the next moment!

‘WORDS’ THE BEAUTIFUL INKBLOTS

there is a lilt
in our words
when blue moons
meet dark skies
serenaded by silent
dreams ~

conjuring words
isn’t easy
cause feelings are
hard

the ones that float
in salt water
longing for the
softness of pink lips
in a warm night

oh! did I say hard
nope, feelings are honest
only if
we don’t have to talk
about them ~

perhaps
pain is a
cracked perception

but words find it
thrash it
enslave it

and poetry
seeps out of cracks
where we hide
in plain sight

pretending
no one can find us
scraping out
the pain

as we make
feeble attempts
to glue back
our torn skin
into beautiful words ~

perhaps
words were never
meant to be called
beautiful

and blindness
is not an option
when you crawl
through the
contoured verses ~

perhaps
our hearts hold
magic
but the fear of
logic
burns it

I think
‘never’ is kinder
than ‘perhaps’

but ‘perhaps’ has options
just like poetry

it cuts too deep
too easy

also pulls us out
let us empathize,
verb words
and changes us
into patterns
of free flows
straining out the pain ~

ultimately
all we are left with
is words

‘beautiful inkblots’
in a different
shade
of darkness ~

DOWN YET NOT OUT

Struck by the Storm and a log in my eye,

I am blinded and oblivious to the world around.

My eyes are shut closely with darkness surrounding by leaps and bounds.

I am confined to a corner petrified by fear,

I fear movement lest I would stumble down.

But the Storm did die leaving behind a dreadful silence.

Screaming at me a voice from within “Till how long?”,

“Till how long you will hide from life when you don’t know when the death would arrive?”

I was stubborn enough to not to answer,

But soon sun rays did knock my eyelids urging me to listen and care enough to answer and I had to.

I was struggling to open my eyes to let the light drive away the darkness of ignorance.

Log was gone but pain still reckoning, tears still rolling down leaving behind a burning trail.

But the struggle wasn’t futile for my eyes, they are seeking comfort in the light of enlightenment.

Storm did knock me down only to let the wind of new beginning blow.

Storm did break my branches only to let me sense the strength of my roots.

Storm did turn the dullness on with its grey hue only to let me understand the beauty of colours.

Storm did struck me down only to let me stand a new chance.

Storm

LOOK AT ‘BITTERNESS’ OUT OF THE BOX

In a general sense the word ‘Bitterness’ makes us understand about the taste of something, as the web dictionary defines ‘Bitter’ as, “having a harsh, disagreeably acrid taste”. But when we use that same meaning for life then it seems very grievous. The other definitions of bitter are: Hard to bear; grievous; distressful….etc. – as I said the matter becomes very serious when we lose the taste of our life.

“My life has no joy… It’s so bitter.”

“The bitterness towards my life is increasing day by day.”

“I am so bitter about my life. I don’t wanna live anymore.”

“I want to quit.”

“No any more.”

The above statements indicate how someone can feel when s/he is bitter about his/her life.

What can make us bitter?

Let me explain a case study…

A girl of 4-5 years lost her mother. The mother didn’t die but left her. The girl grew up with her siblings but the trauma was heavy on the whole family though she suffered the most. She suffered combating jealousy, wicked schemes of outsiders, injustice from the single parent she had with her. All these things happened not only for a year or two but year after year. The girl kept feeling rejected by all. She cried, she yelled but there was no one to come to her rescue. Her father fixed her marriage to a boy who was a terminally ill person. She loved him despite of his sickness seeing his caring nature. She got married to him but the problems never ended. The bitterness to life increased in her heart and mind.

This case study gives us a picture of a lady with extreme bitterness towards her life. If we look around us there are many such people who have lost hope in their lives.

If I take my example, I have felt bitter towards my life lots of times. I was bitter because I wasn’t given good health so that I could play with my friends in school. I was bitter because I was restricted to ride a bicycle and used to go to school with my aunt in the cycle rickshaw. I was bitter because I was unable to be used in any physical activities which any young kid or college going boy loves to do. I was bitter, in fact felt disgusted of me when I used to see the girls coming to the college by motor bike yet I used to come sitting at the back of my friends’ bicycle or motor bike or come alone in a cycle rickshaw. I used to depend a lot on my friends to do many things for me. Sometimes they used to deny me of doing it for me. I felt disgusted when my family members were looking for any physically handicapped quota for my college admission. I was bitter when I was unable to do any professional course for my future.

So what we observe in both of these true life experiences that the life situations, the people around us, sometimes family, sicknesses etc., are the causes of our bitterness towards life.

But what about the lady? She never gave up, despite the devilish thoughts of death coming to her mind again and again. She never gave in to that thought of quitting her life.  She lives with a hope that her Creator God will definitely bring changes in her life one day.

She says, “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Bitterness never came to an end in my life. What do you think it’s finished just because I smile and stay jovial? I have overcome it?

NO WAY!!!

But it could not overpower me after I understood the perspective of my life. I changed the way I  used to look at bitterness in my life. My focus shifted from what I don’t have, what I can’t do to what I have, what I can do. My motto in life became to “Smile and make others Smile” instead of counting how much I suffered. The scripture portion – “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might” became My Motivation.

Friends! Look at your life differently, change your perspective to make bitterness negligible.

Stay blessed!!!

DO ALL TRANSITIONS END UP IN A POSITIVE NOTE?

We had a great week discussing on crossing the transition periods and coming out victorious.

But when I was thinking what to write on my ‘Final Note,’ I was unable to come to the conclusion that all the transitions has a good or positive out come in our lives. 

When I look back in my life I find few incidents that will clarify what I am talking about…

In 2001 I was admitted in Manipal Heart Foundation, Bangalore for my second surgery. There’s one 19 years old guy with me in my ward for surgery too. Both went through the difficult transition of heart surgery. I came out alive. He couldn’t.

In 2010-11, both my cousins met severe road accidents. Both were very painful and difficult transitions for all of us in the family. My cousin sister survived but my cousin brother didn’t.

We pray for many people who are suffering with terminal diseases. Some survive and some don’t.  

I struggle with the thought why there’s a disparity? Why there’re different situations? Why God listens to one and doesn’t for the other? Why there’s no dawn after some dark nights? All these questions really made me sad till I remembered these words of wisdom as under:

“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

 What do workers gain from their toil?  I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race.  He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.  I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.”

My uncle says we humans are spiritual beings… we are spirits and spirits live for eternity. So being eternal our ends are impossible whether we land up in heaven or hell.

Why did I say about this suddenly here? I said it because I wanted to stress on the fact  that we have purpose after this earth also. There’s always a purpose behind something that happens in our life. Even death is a transition after crossing it there’s life as we are ever living beings. I know we are really unable to understand certain things at certain point of time, because no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” But I remember what Khristina said yesterday, Don’t be distracted – submit to God’s plan for you when things are not going on your way… when you think you are going through a phase… when you are thinking its just a transition period for you…

Change is inevitable. But it is important how we react to it.

Friends, are you going through difficult times? Are you going through a mind boggling change in your life? Take heart, submit everything in God’s hand. It’s just a passing transition…

Stay Blessed!!!

BETWEEN RELATIONSHIPS: A TIME OF TRANSITION OR DISTRACTION?

Anyone who has ever been in a broken relationship knows how important it is to “heal” before you can even attempt to think of someone else.

During this time, one can literally go through the seven stages of grief. Do you know what those are? It starts with shock or disbelief, then denial, then bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and finally acceptance/hope. Unless one goes through most of these phases, it is difficult to move on.

I went through the same process many years ago, when I was heartbroken after a nasty break-up. I started off with disbelief, after which, for the longest time, I was in a state of continued denial (something that I laugh at myself for today!). 

During my state of denial – I realized something – I was bombarded with a bunch of guys who were seemingly great. And more than once, I was swayed. But this time, I prayed a prayer that I am proud that I did! I asked the Lord to help me – to take charge – after all, HE is the one who decides who my life-partner would be. So why was I running around trying to find my Mr Right? I just left it to Him, and to my to-be, to find me!

Of course, my Mr Right didn’t magically appear in front of me after I said that prayer. I had to wait another year and half; I went through all of my stages of grief – and even passed by some more “distractions”. But thankfully, my mind was clear.

A year and half later, my husband entered my life, and as they say, the rest of history.

So, if you have suffered a heartbreak, my earnest request for you is to take it slow – this is a time of transition, but also a time of distraction. Don’t be distracted – submit to God’s plan for you.

I had only one regret – I wish I had prayed that prayer earlier.

AFTER THE DARK NIGHT THERE IS A BEAUTIFUL DAWN AWAITING

Butterflies are things of beauty. But there life starts with a struggle – when the butterfly tries to break through the cocoon to enter into this world its a fight of its life; it has to break its way out. But its this fight that helps it get stronger. When it breaks the cocoon with its legs it makes its wings stronger and this makes the butterfly more agile.

As my brother mentioned in his article, ‘What does not kill us makes us stronger.’ And that is true. Everybody has to face a time of trial and tribulation. They have to go through that period of inevitable change. Because as they say “Change is the only Constant.” 

The thing which we need to do during this is persevere and believe that when we come out on the other side as survivors we are stronger – that we have evolved into a better version of ourselves. It’s our troubled times that keep us grounded, that makes us validate the existence of a higher power at work. Yeah! You are right… I am talking about God. And that thought keeps us humble and human.

A transition also helps in keeping the faith alive that everything that is happening is for the best and that after this dark night there is a beautiful dawn awaiting … And its going to be the best …