CRUSHED TO BUILD

A day ago I was explaining Aparna about our feelings which works in three particular layers… first, the surging of emotions; second, the desire to culminate or satiate; and third, the decision to be taken by our mind.   

Let me explain.

When a boy or a girl meets and feel for each other their emotions of love, care surge out for each other. Then they try to feel each other by satisfying their own or each other’s desires either physically or emotionally. Lastly all these happen only after the decisions that their mind takes basing on their knowledge of right and wrong about the desires as well as the actions they feel or take. But sometimes decisions of right or wrong give way to a strong and immature desire.

This is how normally our feelings play their part in our life.

BUT…

When I read the definition of CRUSH it made me think again because…    

Crush is a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable.

Last week out of 6 stories that we came across 2 were simply unattainable. Preeta’s Walter with dimple and Pradita’s Cartoon character were perfectly fitting to this category. But other four stories had little chances of turning into real love stories. Yet they lasted for few days or few hours only to make the definition of crush complete: “crush is a brief encounter.”

When we come to the feelings or emotions part of all the above stories we find a common ground, which is “Intense Infatuation”, though all the emotions or feelings were suppressed knowing them to be unattainable considering different situations then. At the last layer/stage of their feelings they all decided, “we should stop this here…”.

That is how our sharpened conscience and our matured mind play the role of deciding whether to cut the crap right there naming it as “CRUSH” or proceed with a strong will and firm decision of attaining which seems impossible.  

Whatever it is but I would say if you never had crush on somebody then you missed one of the best feelings/experience in your life. ‘Crush’ works as the spark plug in our life to let the engine of love – emotion start for the rest of our lives. Crush makes us aware of the feelings of love for someone. It makes us understand how beautiful is the emotion called love… Probably God allows our crush to be crushed by our unattainable imaginations to prepare us for our attainable reality.

So my dear young friends! Do not be disheartened by the crushed crushes but understand the emotion of love well enough to build a strong and fruitful relationship in future keeping God who is love Himself as your confidante. 😉

Stay Blessed!!!  

CRUSH THAT WAS CRUSHED😦

Hi Everyone,

(Note: No character judgement please)

It was in the year 2000, I was in 10th class, an important stage in the school life of any Indian student.  The all important board examinations were awaiting me.  Rigorous studies, extra classes, tuitions and the 24*7 parents surveillance.  Huff😩.   And it was during that hectic period I saw him!   My first crush 😇.

There was a video game parlour just a few steps away from our home.  During summers when I was roaming in my balcony trying to memorize my lessons I saw him there with his friends. Oh my God! How handsome! Was looking at him and then suddenly out of nowhere he looked at me.  I stole the glance at once and pretended that I was busy with my books. Come on guys I felt shy😉.

And the trend of seeing each other, stealing glances  (me only, never wanted him to know that I was looking at him but irony was that I knew that he knew that I was staring at him).  And this sequence followed all the way to my bus stop as well from where I used to board bus to the school.  It continued till 4 months before my mom noticed one day our hide and seek.  It was during one day when I was returning to home and at the bus stop  I found him and both of us staring, turning and staring again.  Twist in the tale: my mom was behind me which I didn’t notice and my love story (probable one😃) was in full swing.

For the strict person my mother is, was fully prepared with the volley of questions, I mean fire balls.  “What do you think you were doing there?”, “Is this your age to do all this?”, “Who’s that boy?” (This particular question came quite late and to be frank I had no answer to that, till date), “no one in our family have done such things” and the wind was in flow😩  I was terrified “Oh God! How come she knew about this and what I have done”.  The only words that escaped my lips along with tears that rolled down my cheeks “mom I didn’t do anything, please don’t tell this dad” I pleaded her.

I don’t know if she has discussed with dad or not.  I was petrified with fear, waiting impatiently about the moment when my father would boom angrily at me.  But surprisingly nothing happened, neither that day nor later.  He never questioned me.  One thing was evident with this incident that my father trusted me completely and it was on me to never let the trust shatter that he had in me.

One more thing that happened after that day, I came to my senses – I have to study hard and it’s the only thing that I am supposed to do at that stage of life.  Love can wait.  After that day I avoided looking at him (I know it’s tough😕).

One thing that registered clearly in my mind since that day – parents can be strict, angry at you but their love for you is not that they would show you all the time in their words.  It is something to be understood.  And their trust is something priceless that should never be broken.

It’s my story about my crush that was crushed,  do you have a similar story?  I am all ears.

RECIPE FOR FIRST CRUSH, SERVES ONE

I was 10 yrs old, stupid, silly and with a head full of imagination. I was hanging on my gate on a summer vacation afternoon and saw a family move their stuff the house next to mine. I watched with feigned disinterest as the furniture was moved in. By evening the family that was going to reside in that house came in a Maruti 800. Out came the mum, dad and three sons. I watched their procession inside the house, holding their suitcases, bedding, baskets and bags. All three sons were dashing, smart and adolescent Punjabi boys. The parents moved in snobbish, and so did the sons, but my eyes were fixed on the youngest one.

He was dribbling a basketball with loads of attitude as he went inside. My heart fluttered, and I didn’t know what this feeling is called. Time went by, and their home became a fortress no one could breach. They installed high iron gates and higher walls, no one could peep in. The family hardly ever interacted with us all in the lane. We used to make fun of them and called their house a citadel. The boys were never seen playing outside or on streets. But whenever I got a glimpse of the youngest one I ogled him open-mouthed.

He had greenish blue eyes, hardly seen in us Indians and very fair-skinned with a golden tinged wavy hair and wore awesome jackets, glares, shoes. He was older to me by some three yrs and a complete rogue. I gathered all the information about him that I could from bits and pieces I overheard. His school, his coaching centre, his friends, what kind of student he is and so on. I came to know he isn’t academically bright and not a stand out in sports. We were both growing, and soon he gained height and started looking even more devilish. I timed his comings and goings and hanged around the gate to see him. My only wish to talk to him once and be noticed.

My father used to throw huge and lavish birthday parties for me. Everyone was invited from relatives to business circles and from friends to neighbours. But I would wait for him to show up, cause I know he will shake my hand and give me the present and wish me. I dressed my best possible and acted cool. But the moment he came up to wish me the world dissolved. He always gave me a smile with attitude my heart would go mmm mmmm.

Then came the day I had to sell tickets to the school carnival. I had to go to all homes but chose his home first. I rang the bell and stood with bated breath. I know aunt hates visitors, but the urge to see him was strong enough and I kept my pride aside and stood to wait. A maid came and told me no one is home. I was going back with a sad face when I saw him walk towards me. He talked to me and bought one ticket for himself. I was about to faint, he was talking to ME! Reluctantly I went to the other houses long after he went back inside.

Few more yrs passed, and he became even more handsome. Girls ogled at him, and I heard he became a playboy too. But still. The crushed common sense wasn’t ready to let go. One day he came home in a red car. It was the first time I had seen such a car in real life. It was no less than a Ferrari to me. Winged doors, two seater, open hooded, red sports car. He and that car were made for each other. My heart nearly stopped when he got out and removed his gloves, helmet and goggles. From that day it became my only hobby, to watch him zoom away in his car.

Years kept rolling by, and one by one each son got married. I won’t lie to you all, I felt jealous when he got married. I thought his wife wasn’t good enough for him(though she was more educated and it was a love marriage). Soon enough he had two kids to himself and my life too got busy and never I thought of him much. But then last year, the brothers got separated and made nuclear Homes, he left the street and bought home in next colony. I won’t say I was heartbroken or sad, but I felt a little bit of my innocence and childhood fantasy leave with him.

This is what is Crush I guess. A cup ☕️of Infatuation infused with a sprig ☘of Obsession. Boiled in the cauldron of 😍Admiration and stirred with the ladle 💖of Romance. Simmered on the fire 🔥 of Passion and spiced 🌶with Innocencece. Served along with Fancy 💄And garnished with Silliness🌹.

Time Taken: A Youth

Serve Hot !😉🍵

MY FIRST CRUSH CRUSHED DEEP DOWN

Mistakes are inevitable. But funny mistakes are the gems of our imperfect human life.”  — Chiradeep Patra 😉

We were promoted to 6th standard. There was a beautiful girl who failed in class 6th that year who became our classmate. She was feeling sad to be with us, her juniors but she was a very happy going girl.

And Lo and behold I had a crush on that girl big time… 🙂

I used to stare at her every now and then. I used to admire her every time she used to giggle… “Mmmmm… she was adorable…” I used to think. I used to dream beautiful flowery dreams concerning her. It wasn’t at sleep… But just day dreaming… 😉

It was a taboo among friends if a guy would talk to a girl alone then… It would have termed as there’s something between them… So I had never really dared to talk to her directly. We had talks only in groups along with other guys and girls and that to regarding school matters only.

But every time I felt her or saw her around my heart fluttered… And something happened once which was terribly embarrassing for me but had always brought me a glee on my face whenever I think about it. I am gonna describe that now…

It was a Hindi literature class. The teacher was talking about a story titled, Gudda aur Guddi ki Shaadi (Marriage of a male puppet with female puppet). As usual it was superb boring class… the story was rubbish with difficult Hindi grammar descriptions… But my mind was on the word SHAADI and I was dreaming… again day dreaming in the class. The class was over.

I was sitting beside a notorious friend then. He is the quietest one now, though. And I was blabbering something which he overheard. I blabbered, ‘Chiradeep aur Reena ki Shaadi’.

Yeah yeah, the name is fictitious… But that’s not important here now… What’s important is my status… It was at stake after the naughty friend started screaming in delight sharing what I uttered by mistake… I was out of my mind… and I pleaded him that it was just a mistake… it just came out… It was not true… But all my attempts were in vain… 🙂

My face was reddened, blushing. I was ashamed of my stupid tongue. I was cursing myself literally. And what really made me worried that time was my aunt… She was a teacher in that school and was my local guardian… in fact, she was everything to me. If she would come to know then the hammering and scolding would be of the highest level. All the teachers in the common room would come to know… They would scold me as well and laugh at me… What if the girl comes to know about it…? I perspired… perspired thinking all these…

Finally, there was one good guy, who pleaded the naughtiest to stop spreading what Chiradeep uttered by mistake. Somehow, he listened. And things calmed down for me in the classroom and in my heart. 😉

Lesson learned big time: Taming your tongue is of utmost value while you navigate your emotion in the right direction.

Next few days after the incident I was very careful about my behavior in the classroom among my friends. I didn’t even look at her. I literally avoided her. I went the other way when I found her coming towards me or close to me. But it is true that I fantasized her for quite a long time. I knew nobody can see what I was thinking in my mind… Lol! 

Later, Reena left the school after two years when she failed again and we went ahead of her. I don’t know whether she ever came to know about what I said that day but it’s true that she was my first ever crush which finally crushed miserably.  

This mistake of mine is a very precious one for me… I cherish it in my heart always because it makes me smile whenever I think about the whole CRUSHED saga. 

Please don’t mock me!!!