LIFE IS LIKE AN EXAM – THEN WHY MANY FAIL?

Let us first understand – why life is an exam?

Is it really an Exam?

Who is judging you?

Do you have any say on this?

It is true that life is challenging, but we all have different challenges to deal with. I might not be dealing with what you have, neither you will be dealing with what I have to. We all have varying hurdles to live through our daily routine.

We all tend to overlook into others lives, and make our life much more challenging by complaining about what we lack, ignoring what we already possess.

So why do we fail in the exam called life? Ever thought on the same?

There are several reasons, why we fail in life :

  1. We all are scared of failing.
  2. We listen more to others than our innermost desires.
  3. We compare ourselves with the better, assuming that we are just nothing.
  4. We just want to be a copy of others, than being different.

Being Scared of Failing 

If we try, then only we can decide, whether it is fun or not. Without even trying, assuming things to be difficult is the first step of failure. Take life as a challenge that is when you will cherish every moment of it. Wade off the fear of failing and prepare yourself to experience a new you.

Have you ever seen a baby stopping to try to walk, upon falling several times?

It is simply because, the baby is not scared to walk, even when it might fall a couple of times. Success is not an easy thing to achieve.  Growing up, most of us have lost that inquisitiveness in life.

Turning Deaf to the innermost feelings

Taking advice from the wrong is going to lead you into much more trouble. We all tend to take advice from people who do not have a single knowledge of what we do. And finally, even when our heart desires a lot, we just break away from those innermost feelings.

Don’t you think that is the worst part of being in a challenge? 

If you want to make life challenging, challenge the people around you who are stuck in monotony and show them how life can be happier with a choice that glows your heart.

Comparison- The slow poison on life

Even though we all know that we have varied things, aims, desires, dreams, passion, lifestyle everything including habits, we still tend to compare.

Yes, Comparison kills the joy of life.

One may have, a luxurious life but may not be completely happy. At the same time, a poor one may not have the luxury but has a peaceful life. It is all about how you take things. Identifying what you actually need and what makes you sufficient is important.

The moment you realise that you are different from others and you chose to be different, then it is a grand success.

We all even must have encountered several instances wherein parents compare children with other children and forget that their own child possesses something unique. In such cases, the child loses its self-confidence and even fails at many things. Little do they realise that comparing the child to another one, is killing the joy in their life.

Let them be what they want.

We all are Copycats 

We all just try to be a copy of the one near us or known to us. We never try to even change a little bit, because we assume that , something that is being called perfect among us is an epitome to be followed.

Being different is a challenge.

Life throws different challenges to all, and we all try to copy, forgetting that we all have different question papers to solve.

As I was saying, 

Life is an interesting challenge to endure. Making every moment challenging is even much more fun.  The moment we push ourselves outside the glass wall of others’ expectations, we are going to make life interesting.

At least at one point of life,  choose to take up a challenge. It might change your perspective of life.

 

 

ARE THEY, BETTER THAN ME???

Growing up with this question in mind wasn’t too easy for me. I was so absorbed in inferiority complex then, that I used to assess myself in every other situation. The most promising problem for me, that still stands, is comparison. I absolutely hate being compared by others and comparing my ownself to others. Even though, at times, I do the later. If I had to cope with the comparison, then it would have been a little easy. But, with comparison came pressure. Pressure of living up to the expectations of your family, relatives, society as well as friends. I would love to elaborate a little and would make my deepest feelings known to all.

Comparison of health: in this judgemental, small world, I grew up to be a fat girl. I was constantly bullied by peers and elders of our society because of my health and looks. I was constantly reminded that I was never born to eat my favorite food to my hearts content, drink my favorite drinks, as they would make me more fat, dance as it would break the floor, run as it might start an earthquake, wear jeans as all fats would be visible to the world. I was told to hide my body under big loose clothes, eat less food, drink lukewarm water, never to dance or play. Elders of the society (middle aged) named me baby elephant, hippo, big fat hen and some would cutely call me panda. At times, I felt my parents were secretly ashamed of me. Even for them, it was heart wrenching to hear such things. Moreover, comparison of my health to the thinnest one in the family, made me more uncomfortable. it also affected our relationship. Stress and pressure of being presentable and acceptable to the society took my happiness and it still manages to scare me.

Comparing grades: I am a proud member of an intelligent family, but somehow the genes have spared me. They were too busy making me fat that they forgot to code some intelligence. My 10th and 12th grades were horrifying as I was asked to follow my cousins who were more brainy than I. Even in my dreams I would see myself being ridiculed for not getting good grades. My cousins weren’t the ones comparing but the elders were. They did not understand the burden of it. They didn’t understand that I have particular set of qualities which might not match the skill set of my cousins. Anxiety, fear of exams, fear of being pointed out as stupid, fear of failing engulfed me and I drowned in its waves.

Comparing friendship: Are you a good friend? If you have ever been with a group of friends with strong personalities you will understand this. Everyday is a struggle to prove your friendship is true to all of them. At times you might do something that might please one, but not others or vice versa. in such situations, I lost many friends. There were times they would ask me, “I wouldn’t have done that, why did you?”. Many times I was held responsible for things I never did. But one thing that I learnt is that, no matter what, a true friend who knows you in and out will always be with you. They might not agree or support you, but they will remain in your life always. Maybe other are better friends than me, but I still try to be a good one.

Comparing the looks: I am not beautiful, neither am I ugly. It is how God has created me and it is what will be. Looks are so over-rated, well I feel so. Just because, people always favor the beautiful. No matter how good you are at your work, or how precise and perfect you were when you finished the work, or you were the only one who worked for the entire thing, but the name that comes first would be theirs. Its a natural tendency to bend towards the more beautiful ones. I have seen people ignore the ones who love them with all they have, for a good looking person, not so beautiful at heart. Not every good looking person ha a bad heart. Not every average person, is a good human. Still looks take the upper hand. People do not trust people who look average or below. For me, because of my looks, people said, “my!! who will marry you?” For them, my marriage was a shocker.

Comparison of being a type of human: As you have read in one of the article, we have our own way of thinking how the other person should be and how he should love his life. Any deviation makes that person, a matter of discussion in our household. I have been that person, who was discussed for showing some of her reactions and feelings. As it is said, life is not a bed of roses…. it might be the tinniest of thing, but one wrong makes you a bad person for your entire life. For me, not being diplomatic and not thinking before I speak, landed me into a lot of trouble. But, God has helped me through all that situation and now I am a happy person.

Surviving comparisons, its pressure and demands was never an easy game play. But God did help me through. I guess, in this present scenario, many go through this kind of situations and emotional points in life. Assurance is that, if we really believe in our-self and make our own way through this, we will definitely reach our haven, may be tired but free. There will not be despair, but only hope, for a much brighter future, we can behold.

TAKE OFF THOSE ROSE GLASSES….

*Fiction with truth touching our lives

Hello Everyone,

Before going into the story I want to mention two things that were repeatedly tossing up in my mind for past two days as I was preparing to write for this week:

  • An old song :Duniya mein kitna gum hain, mera gum kitna kam hai” which translates to ‘there is so much grief in the world mine is nothing compared to it.’
  • Take off those rose glasses when you see the world, stop using magnifying glasses when you look at your own life.

Now going into the story:

I was reading the newspaper and hurried through all the headlines so as to hand it over to my brother who stood there staring at me sipping his coffee as if saying, “delay it by one more minute and you will have it from me”.  I gave the paper to him but kept the entertainment supplement with me to read it at leisure.  After being done with the day I decided to let my hair down with my favourite read “Entertainment News”.   As I was turning the pages I found an advertisement featuring my favourite actress. Oh! I simply couldn’t take my eyes off her, she looked mesmerizing.  After a few seconds of trance I resumed reading, rather noticing the advertisement.  It read “Live My Life For Seven Days“.  It was a contest wherein the contestants are supposed to fill in a caption and send their entries. Among all the entries only the best three were to be selected and would be given a chance to meet the superstar.  And one among those three will get a chance to live the life of a superstar that too for one entire week. “What luck!” I thought to myself.  “Why can’t that luck be yours?” my heart questioned me and made me pick up a pen, put my brain to exercise and at last I scribbled a caption which was nothing but my feelings decorated with words. Then I slipped into deep slumber with head full of imagination and eyes crowded with dreams. I could see myself there surrounded with nothing but beauty and ecstasy. Big brands running after me, I was adorned with the most fashionable clothes that enhanced my beauty, I was the talk of the town – many adoring me, many more jealous of me,  but I was there to stay.  Oh what a dream it was! About a month of posting the caption I got the news that I was among the best three, in fact I was better than the best and I would get a chance to live my dream now. My excitement knew no bounds. What else I could ask God for?

Soon the D-day arrived and my journey to the La-La land begun. It seemed all glossy at first glance. But soon I discovered that only the surface is made to look beautiful but underneath it, it’s all hollow.  Soon I had lost my freedom – freedom to move about freely lest paparazzi would follow me; freedom to eat whatever I wanted to eat to heart’s content lest I will put on those extra pounds and won’t fit into my branded wear; freedom to talk freely lest I would be misinterpreted, misquoted and misrepresented for the TRP business.  There were tabs all around and on everything. And the worst thing was that I was reduced to a mere “product” that comes with a shelf life.  My brain, my heart, my emotions had no place and never mattered.  It was all about “Face” and “Show”.  ‘Is this the life of a superstar?’,  I questioned and felt cheated.

At the end of the seventh day when I shed those high-end fashionable wear and came back to my common “street” fashion I heaved a sigh of relief.  I had realized one thing perhaps the most important lesson of my life:

  • When we look at others’ lives we choose to see only the seemingly beautiful and better aspects. We don’t get into the skin of matters like their hardships and their efforts. We are only concerned about the sweet lies and beautiful images but the bitter truth always scares us away.
  • Not only do we constantly keep an eye on how’s life shaping up when it comes to others be it our neighbors, friends or relatives but also we end up giving a royal ignore to the good things we have been blessed with – A loving family, supporting friends, health, a comfortable shelter over head, freedom to do petty things that give happiness in true sense and literally many more things that are intangible.
  • If comparison has to be the essence of life then it must be drawn with less fortunate ones as it could prompt us to thank God before we curse it .
  • Happiness is not in a highly priced product but a valuable one.  For example, a dinner plate priced worth thousands might not give the same happiness as a loaf of bread when you are hungry.  Hope the difference is clear!

At the end of the story I would like to say one thing, as humans we have a tendency of living in deception that whatever others have must be better as compared to our possessions.  We don a constant pair of rose glasses through which we fail to see the blistering heat that is panning lives. Meanwhile we have this constant frown 😞 on our faces when it comes to analyse our lives.  Never happy because the happiness is too small compared to our problems which according to us are bigger  than what anyone else have and here to stay forever for we are the most unfortunate, isn’t it?

Think about it and if possible ‘Take Off Those Rose Glasses’.