WHY DO WE FEEL BORED?

Things have changed a lot in one year or so. Sometimes I wonder whether I am progressing or getting distracted by many things around me. I feel like doing so many things but I forget to ask myself a question, “are all things beneficial for me“. If at all they are beneficial in my life, I am failing somewhere or unable to prioritise them. For example – Candles Online; it is my baby. I gave birth to it, and I brought it up to some extent but I am leaving its hands like an irresponsible parent ignoring his/her teen. A question comes to my mind, “where’s Candles Online on my priority list?”

Lack of Focus:

This year, 2023 began on a very dull note for me. Everywhere, wherever I have a profile on the internet, the concluding line is, “right now I am mainly concentrating on writing books“. But it’s the fifth day of February and I haven’t published even a single book yet.

Boredom is a psychological condition that reflects a real-life situation in which we are not engaged by the activity we are performing or by the environment that surrounds us. When we feel bored, the time usually passes slowly and we have a hard time staying focused.

I quoted this statement from an article “The Psychology of Boredom” by Simone Redaelli on one of my favourite sites – Psychology Today. I was happy to know Mr Simone thinks exactly how I thought about my feeling. When I have my priorities set and I am focused on achieving something special, then I am sure I won’t be bored. So lack of focus is one of the reasons behind boredom.

Lack of Motivation:

What motivates us mostly? Praise from family and friends, applause, popularity, productivity and financial benefits are the factors that motivate us. Without these even if we have a vision or goal to achieve we feel bored in the middle of our journey.

I and a few of my friends authored a couple of books individually. We were ecstatic when we published. We sent shout-outs, shared the links to our books frantically and spent money on promotions as well. We received the tag, “Published Author” and applause from friends, family members etc., but as time passes we felt demotivated. At least, I did feel that way. Our books hardly gave us anything in regard to any financial benefits. I consider this to be the second reason for my boredom.

Lack of End-Results:

I usually don’t worry about how much money I received or earn if I am getting good feedback about what I am doing or producing for the people around me. I was delighted when my books were read by many and a few started giving their feedback without even asking them. But there were people, the loved ones, who didn’t even read the full book even if they bought it or got it from me. Forget about my book getting a bestseller tag, which I am not expecting. But what I have been expecting is feedback on Amazon or in person from the people who own a book written by me. And this end result of my published book utterly disappointed me and I am bored.

Did I say, I am dwelling in my boredom? Not at all. I have overcome it and have started my war against it. But how did I do that? Maybe next Sunday, I will share it with you all.

Stay Blessed!

BOREDOM PROMPTED ME TO EXPLORE

Bearing a tag – ‘Fragile: Handle with Care‘, I lived my whole life till I stepped on the soil of the City of Joy – Kolkata in the year 2001. Till then I had lived my life amidst close relatives and family in a very cozy and warm atmosphere. I had never done anything on my own or went outside alone. But in Kolkata, the challenges were new and difficult for me to face. After office time I had nothing to do but to read books, write something or study Bible. There was no one to speak with, no one to play anything or nothing to do that would entertain me, or nowhere to go as I had no idea about this new city and I was all alone. Soon, I was dragged into a depressive shell called Boredom.

In those initial days at Kolkata, weekdays were manageable as I kept myself busy at the office during the day time till 6 PM and somehow managed the evenings till bedtime. Sundays were also okay as there were church services till afternoon which kept me engaged. But Saturdays were worst. There were no office or church services on Saturdays except my lonely world called, Boredom.

Every time I woke up on a Saturday morning, I had one worry, ‘How to finish this day as soon as possible?’ But every time, I ended up dwelling in that uncomfortable shell called, Boredom without stepping out of my comfort zone.

But one Saturday, I decided otherwise. I wanted to break free by breaking the shell of Fear and Boredom within which I had been dwelling for a long time. I decided to take that first step in my life by stepping out of my dwelling place called Boredom which actually prompted me to go out and explore; explore something new and challenging for me at that moment of my life, something I had never done before on my own.

I remember, I told my mom, “I am going out to roam and around the city as I am feeling so bored”. My mom was aware of the plight of a 25-year-old man who had been spending all his life with a lot of restrictions and obstructions which had actually cringed him in a dungeon called, Boredom.

I took a rickshaw and went till the main road and took a taxi from there. When the taxi driver asked me where to go, I replied, “I don’t know. Take me wherever you think best for me to feel elated and happy but within Rs. 200, I should be here at this place, safe and sound.” Rs. 200 was like Rs.2000 for me at that particular moment and I had that much only with me to pay, attempting to kill Fear and Boredom in one go.

The taxi driver was a compassionate man. He understood my heart and responded well, “You must have already known and seen Howrah bridge, so I will take you to another bridge which is a new one and called, Vidyasagar Setu”. I nodded without saying a word as my heart responded to him loudly, “Thank you! But know that, I am at your mercy“.

He took me there, on that bridge which was way beautiful than any other bridge that I had ever seen till that time. When he brought me back to my place, I remember, I paid him Rs.170.00 but we both were extremely happy which were priceless. I was happy for taking the first step to come out of my Boredom and explore the city all alone for the first time, and he was happy for being that change agent in my life.

Captured by me: The road leading to Vidyasagar Setu

Many years later, when I had the opportunity to capture the beautiful Vidyasagar Setu, I remembered how I explored it in 2001, all by myself.

Captured by me: A glimpse of Vidyasagar Setu

I had been to Vidyasagar Setu a number of times in the last 20 years of my life in Kolkata but that first trip to Vidyasagar Setu will always be my favourite one till the end.

Captured by me: Crossing over the beautiful Vidyasagar Setu

Every boredom prompts something to explore. If your boredom doesn’t prompt you to explore then remember you are not bored but actually enjoying where you are.

Today, due to my health condition, I don’t go out much but I found other avenues or have explored something else to get out of my boredom. But all these mini or big explorations have always made me happy and kept me joyful instead of dwelling in depression and boredom. And I will quote that same Bible verse again which has always encouraged and prompted me to explore – “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might, for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going.” We can not make use of our ideas, intellect when we are dead. We can utilise them only when we are alive and our God wants us to be happy and joyous in life, kicking off a life of grumbling and complaints. With this thought in my mind, I had initiated and gave birth to my child – Candles in 2006 and I am so happy to write this article today, which is the 2000th post published on Candles Online.

So friends! Never dwell in depression or boredom but be prompt to take the first step and come out of that shell called, Fear and Boredom to lead a joyful and cheerful life.

Stay blessed!