Being a mom, you are going to be bombarded with so much guilt for everything you do to everything you don’t do.
Nearly, 90% of moms feel guilty- And yes it is not a surprising element. Right from giving birth, breastfeeding, parenting, helicopter parenting and much more, you will stumble every now and then with guilt.
When pregnancy starts, it begins creeping into the thoughts.
“Oh, I didn’t have this, my child would have got better eyes, lips..etc”
“Oh, I should have lost enough weight,so that I would not have gained this much during pregnancy, now how I am gonna take care of myself and my kids . . .”
Blah… blah… blah…
A lot many thoughts keep conflicting the mind, rather than focussing on the real thing.
Again, after giving birth, most moms around 10 % or so, struggle with breastfeeding, some do not have enough supplement, that they have to start on formula milk, some do feed enough that the baby is growing fatter… and much more..
The list just prolongs from then, there is never an end to it.
Again the common guilt which is prevailing is when a mother is back to work. The guilt is much heavier than an atom bomb, it just breaks away the confidence and the mother’s dreams, that finally she gives up, the hopes and be a dedicated mom.
But again, it is not the end of the story – the guilt is inseparable.
When kids grow up, the mother again feels lonelier and again guilty of giving up her career, and then finally not able to give a kick start to it, because she keeps blaming herself for all the decisions she took in her life.
So what’s the story now?
Why do women, especially moms feel the guilt?
Is it because she doesn’t do her things well enough? Or,
Is it the society, who is grading the moms?
People tend to forget that moms are also humans, they also have their share of life. All they need is some time on their own, a job to make them independent to boost their self-confidence. And they just need slight support, not huge though.
So moms, just chill, if you are feeling guilty;
- Firstly you do an excellent job, being a mom.
- It is not easy just being mom, it takes up so much effort and you are the best at it.
- Remember that your happy mind keeps everyone around you happy. So smile, take your own time and chill out.
- Not breastfeeding is not the end of the world. Somethings are not in your hands. There are thousands of women who are not able to lactate, and it is not their fault.
- Parenting is indeed a mess, you fall in uninvited, but yes, you might take your time to gather around and swim across to the shore.
- Do not compare your parenting with others, you need not be guilty for your choices if you know you cannot control it.
Moreover, it is not in your hands that, the people around you are beguiled by the traditional patriarchal child-rearing setup, which is mostly triggered by maternal guilt rather than parental guilt.
Leave the idea of perfectionism, rather than focus on what is good for the child.
Just ignore your guilt and then focus on your child. Guilt gives you nothing, your child will give you the universe of happiness.