WEEDS

(Captured By Rajnandini)

This is a capture of 25th October 2018.

A bunch of weeds atop my neighbour’s terrace caught my attention. And, I kept thinking each day when are these weeds going to be removed. With each passing day, I felt like taking a sickle and removing the weeds by myself.

And, then finally came the day when hired labourers were at work all the day through.

The terrace then, looked neat and nice.

The following day as I opened my window to the sight of a tidy terrace, I missed the overgrown weeds and that set me thinking to something deep.

Just as weeds are unwanted growths – be it on the fields or on terraces or crevices on the walls, in the life of humans are certain weed-like qualities. They look beautiful on the exterior, but have no productivity in our lives. As you can see in the picture, the bushy weeds were good to look at by themselves (that’s why I clicked them). But not only they were useless, they also obstructed movement and usage of a part of the terrace.

And, I moved on to think what are the weed-like qualities in me.

Think of it as you see this picture. What are the weed-like qualities in you – they keep on growing lush with each day – but have no use for you, rather pose as impediments in your life?

MULTITASKING: FEW INTERESTING CASE STUDIES

It was a winter time when my beloved cousin sister hurried to the bathroom for taking bath and poured warm water on her body before mixing cold water in it… And guess what… She burnt her skin. Her mind was elsewhere…probably on a multitasking mode. As we know that there are tasks which don’t need our sole engrossment and our concentration can be divided. My sister knew that taking bath doesn’t need her soul engrossment though she forgot that her soul concentration was much needed before pouring down warm water on herself.  She had a tough time managing her wounds though we had so much fun discussing her absentmindedness.

Guess what? I just called her up right now and we had a laugh talking about the same incident all over again.

Let’s move on to the next cases…

It was a morning time and my wife was screaming at me, asking me to store water in the buckets before the water runs out. And I was about to get inside the bathroom when my aunt called me. I received the phone and kept talking to her while filling the water in the first bucket. I was fine till the water came to the brink of the bucket. I bent down to lift the bucket keeping my phone between my left shoulder and head. The handle of that bucket was broken and I had to lift it by using both my hands. As soon as I lifted the heavy bucket full of water, my second wife, my beloved Nokia E63 slipped out of my embrace and ‘plop’ drowned in the deep sea water… Oops, I mean in the bucket full of water.

I quickly rescued her, took off her clothes, applied resuscitation but to no avail. She went into a lifetime comma. I had to divorce her and claimed an alimony of Rs.500 from the bakra (scapegoat) that I handed her to.

I had loved her so much and regretted multitasking at her cost…. 😛

Many times I have climbed to the 4th floor leaving my office flat which was on the 3rd floor while chatting on WhatsApp or talking to someone on the phone. Many times I have thrown the tablets into the dustbin instead of the torn wrappers while my mind is occupied with my work on the computer.

Found them funny? Did you have a good laugh? Good! I wanted it too… 😉

So to speak I am not at all good at multi-tasking. I usually give up on one while doing the other. And when I am asked to multitask, I shout back literally or show my displeasure. When my wife requires my attention while the TV is on, I ask her either to switch off the TV to talk or let me watch…do just one thing at a time.

Rajnandini, offered some good advice this week as she usually does every time and most importantly she talked about how multitasking adds heavy loads on our shoulders like – Reduced effectiveness, Lowered productivity and performance levels, Increased stress, Disorganised and cluttered mind, In many cases, more time spent than saved. Don’t you think we should get rid of those loads before getting into troubles, either with the funny ones or the serious ones? Keep thinking about it.

In the end, I am happy to close this week by bringing smiles to your faces.

Stay blessed!

MULTI TASKING – IT’S NOT SUPER HEROISM!

She: Hi!

He: Hello Dear! What’s up?

She: Nothing…just feeling bored and alone. What are you up to?

He: Working on my presentation for tomorrow’s meeting.

She: Oops…Sorry, I am disturbing you!

He: No…no, it’s okay! I can manage it! I’m good at Multi-tasking!

She: Thank you for giving your time… you’re a superhero!

He: Mention not! You too are important to me!

Isn’t this our everyday story? Then what’s exceptional and notable!

The daily demands of our professional and personal life are so much that hardly we have time for anyone. In school we were taught about 10 to 5 is work hours and the evening is meant for socializing…but alas today socializing only exists on social media. Whereas, in reality, the human is a social animal. Everyone needs at least a little amount of time for someone to refresh life.

The Bible says,

“Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed”.

But the big question is HOW?

Often we treat people multitasking like him (‘He’ in the above chat) as, Superhero! And there is no doubt we all have at least one such person in our life whether we have discovered it or not! But what is extraordinary in their superheroism? Are they from some other planet? Are they gifted and we aren’t? If they can do multi-tasking then why can’t we?

One of the brightest minds in human history, Sir Albert Einstein said,

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.

Problems and Responsibilities in life are obvious and its journey only finishes in our grave! But that does not mean we will compass our life in I, Me & Mine. We all have problems and God often teaches and answers while we live for others. But DO WE LIVE FOR OTHERS?

The Bible says,

For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Being multi-tasking is spending time, energy, and concentration. Every second is eternal after a second comes another second but not the same one! Hence, when we share our time diverting our attention towards a person and do our work alongside, it is an Eternal Gift that we gift to someone. The biggest gift we can give to someone is time! But DO WE DO SO?

“Everything that is good demands some amount of Sacrifice”.

Undoubtedly, multi-tasking demands an awful lot of sacrifices and often we may not get rewarded with our expectations rather we get cat-calls. But do we need to compromise with our goodness just because someone goes wrong! THEN WHAT’S THE RETURN?   

The Bible says,

And do not forget to do good and to share with others,

for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

However, will we still configure “MULTI-TASKING as the Super Heroic work” and inbox the term by categorizing it to a certain amount of people? How long will we be confined to our I, Me & Mine World? A life lived with giving the value of time – love and care to others alongside accomplishing our tasks and responsibilities is a life worth living…

Keep thinking!

ARE YOU A MULTI-TASKER?

Are you a multitasker?

Let’s check it out!

Right now as you are reading this article, what else are you doing?

I guess some of you may be driving, some may be cradling your baby in your arms, some may be making your child do their homework, some may be in the kitchen standing by the gas stove – waiting for the milk to boil or the curry to cook and some may be alternating between typing an official report on another tab and reading this article. Well, if you find yourself in any of the above places, you are multitasking at the moment!

Doing two or more things at the same time makes one a multitasker.

Most of us wish we had an hour or two extra over and above the 24 hours at our disposal daily. Especially as people and events around us seem to move at such a fast pace in today’s advanced world, we are expected to match up to them all. In cities and towns, multitasking is the norm of the day – for the young and the old alike. In the rural countryside, things are better-paced with easy breathing space.

Multitasking helps one to accomplish many targets at the same time. Seems to be a great skill to acquire! Afterall, who doesn’t wish to complete maximum tasks in minimum time with still some time to spare!

WHAT REALLY HAPPENS WHEN WE MULTITASK?

Multitasking, in simple words, means switching tasks. When we switch to and from one task to the other, we exert pressure on our brain cells forcing them to function as per our requirement. Our brains are designed for organised human activity.

Have you ever faced a situation in which someone rang the doorbell and your land connected phone rang at the same time? Were you able to take the call and speak to the person on the other end and open the door thus attending to the person standing out there, at the same time? Probably not! You are likely to have responded to one thing, keeping the other waiting for a while.

There have been times in which you felt annoyed while speaking to your husband who said he was listening to what you are saying, but his eyes were on the television screen or the newspaper or his laptop/mobile. Similarly, men must have felt their bit of annoyance while their wives keep nodding at what they say but all the while shuttling between different tasks.

They key word here is attention. You feel the other person isn’t paying enough attention, even though s/he claims to be all ears to what you had been saying.

I think you can now very well understand why the traffic cops penalize people from driving and speaking on their cellphones at the same time! Our brain needs to focus on the road while driving. At the same time, when we force ourselves to think and formulate our responses to the person at the other end of the line while attending to a call, our attention gets fragmented. And so, a major chunk of accidents are reported to be caused while drivers were on their phones while driving their vehicles. Hence, make it a point to pull up by the roadside if you need to attend to a call or make a call and then resume driving. Be focussed. Be safe.

We can focus and primarily attend to only one thing at a time. And that helps us to accomplish tasks better, with increased effectiveness and high level of productivity. Neuroscience and psychological research studies have proved this over and over again.

The cognitive faculties meant for one task are split into two or more areas when one multitasks, thus rendering injustice to all the tasks involved. Multitasking ensures that all the tasks are completed, but not as well as they ought to have been.

Here are some baggages that come along with multitasking –

• Reduced effectiveness
• Lowered productivity and performance levels
• Increased stress
• Disorganised and cluttered mind
• In many cases, more time spent than saved

Having talked about how we are mechanised to handle one work at a time, we cannot avoid the fact that many-a-times one really needs to multitask. Time management is the phrase to bear in mind.

• Cut out on all the non-essential seemingly-important-but-not-so-important tasks from your schedule and fix them for another less occupied day.
• Wake up earlier than you usually do (after ensuring your adequate amount of sleep time)
• Delegate tasks to people around you
• Don’t hesitate to seek help
• Put your hands only in as many baskets as you can balance

Above all, seek strength from God to manage your daily affairs even as you do your bit to handle your chores to the best possible extent. Challenges beyond your means are inevitable. If you are a working adult with an ailing family member to care for while having to prepare breakfast and a three-four-item lunch and send your child to school – all within two to three hours in the morning, you know it all! Such circumstances require immense physical and psychological strength, despite all the pre-preparation and planning that you do. And so, the Great Designer promises to hold your hand and aid you in the multiple chores of your everyday life as you entrust your day into His hands.

Quote of the day

Attention of others gives you the power to be people’s person. Don’t lose the opportunity to impact.

ART OF GIVING AND RECEIVING FEEDBACK

How important are feedbacks in our lives? Most of us don’t even realize that only if we could give feedback in the right way and listen to it in a right way – most of our conflicts would be resolved right there.

“How do I make her understand that the way she behaves with the team – it makes the team feel cornered? It makes them believe that their ideas are not important and they always need to get her approval for every small thing.” I said this when I was talking to one of my senior colleagues about a difficult situation with another colleague. And he said “You need to tell her this”. My first reaction to this was “I cannot. She is senior to me.” And he said “So what? Her behavior is affecting you and the team. Just tell her”. I was totally confused and said “How?”

That was when I listened to the art of giving feedback. Feedback is not criticism, it is not blame. It is a very simple way of telling the other person that his/her behavior is not working for you and we need to find a way to make it work. Isn’t that one of the most difficult things to do in the world?

When he explained this to me, it felt quite easy to do but I hit my first roadblock when I started to prepare for the feedback session. It is not easy to do. It needs courage and lots of practice to get comfortable for giving feedbacks. I soon realized that these principles can be applied when I want to convey to my husband as well about something that I did not like in his behavior. And that’s when I really felt empowered to try this out. After all, I really needed a way to tell him things that bother me without having a fight with him.

“You are just so irresponsible? You cannot even take care of our son for a couple of hours?”

“How can you not come a bit early at least some evenings? Do you realize that there is something called work-life balance also?”

“That dress totally makes you look fat. Why do you have to wear it at all?”

“You did not have the courtesy to even call me once a week. What kind of a daughter does that?”

These are some examples of blames floating around in our relationships all the time. Mostly this is the language in which we give and receive feedback. It is filled with criticism, judgment and ridicule. Is it possible to say such things in a much nicer way that the other person actually feels motivated to change himself/herself?

Art of giving feedback

1. Choose a time to talk when you and the other person are physically and mentally available to talk. Ensure that the other person is open to listen and receive feedback.
2. Do it usually after a particular incident
3. Be factual. Do not give generic statements like “You are irresponsible” or “You don’t care”. Tell the person in facts and/or incidents what exactly is bothering you.
4. Be personal. Tell the person what his/her behavior does to you and your feelings. Start the statement with “I feel that ….” When you do this, the person knows that it is the feelings that you are talking about and that does not make a person feel judged.
5. Be positive. Do not blame or be critical. Take examples from the past of how that person’s behavior in a similar situation helped you.
6. Prepare well. Talk to yourself and make sure that you have your points ready before you move on to talk to the person
7. Do not bring up things that happened months or years ago. Do not use this as an opportunity to dig out graves. Talk about the incidents that are happening now or happened in recent past.
8. Don’t judge. All of us make millions of mistakes. There is no reason for you to judge the other person.
9. Don’t try to explain why the other person behaves this way. That is for him/her to think about.
10. Don’t force solutions. You can always give your suggestions but make sure that the other person in the right mind to listen to the suggestions.
11. Don’t talk for the group. Feedback is supposed to be personal, so you are only supposed to tell the other person what it does to you – not to the whole team or family or kids.

This might look like a huge list but it is only a matter of practice and then you don’t have to remember all of these – it would just come naturally to you.

Feedbacks are important because if they are not given and acted upon at the right time, it leads to frustration, anger and issues in the relationship. Conflicts become hard boundaries that jeopardize the relationships. So, do not underestimate the power of feedbacks.

Art of receiving feedback

1. Make sure that you are open to listen to whatever is coming your way.
2. If you do not understand – don’t just pretend that you do. Ask questions and clarify the situations right there.
3. Tell the other person that you have understood the message.
4. Do not interrupt or disqualify the person giving you the feedback.
5. Don’t get defensive or start arguing.
6. Don’t try to force an agreement on the observations.
7. Be thankful to the person who is giving you a feedback.

These are some of the points to be kept in mind when somebody gives you a feedback.

Sometimes feedback that comes your way might not in the form that you expect especially in your personal life, but then if you do not get defensive – you can still try to find the message in that feedback. Remember that the person gives you a feedback only because he/she cares about you as a person and about your relationship with him/her.

Next time think about the art of giving feedback this way when you are hurt by somebody close to you. Try it out and have fun!