I AM NO WAY IN THE CENTRE STAGE!

I am born to create
Not to destroy.
I exist to mend the broken
Not to break things down.
I live to help reconcile
Not to create dissension.
I am just a mediator
Not the protagonist.
If I sing, I’ll sing to comfort
Not be a rockstar.
This is my prayer to God –
“Never to make me an obstacle,
But a bridge to crossover.”

This poem I had written when I felt that I am taking the centre stage instead of allowing God to work. Many a time we tend to forget that we are just God’s instruments who are part of His massive orchestration. He has a plan for all of us to be used in a certain divine way and we need to play the part we are destined to. The moment we try and seek attention, we lose the focus and dissimilate in the air without any further trace of existence. A train has a certain specified track on which it has to run to reach its destination. The moment it derails from its track there’s chaos and destruction that are left for us to witness.

Yet, God honours our existence on this earth. He gives us everything that we require whether we deserve it or not. One passage from the Bible which always makes me so warm of God’s greatness and His compassion on our existence. How He valued and cared for us as precious when He created us and sustains us throughout our life.

“LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory in the heavens. Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor. You made them rulers over the works of your hands; you put everything under their feet: all flocks and herds, and the animals of the wild, the birds in the sky, and the fish in the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!”

Stay blessed!!!

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YOUR APPRECIATION INSPIRES ME

Hello Everyone,

Last year my Google search terms were predominantly – blogging, money, content writing, monetizing, earn from home etc.  My financial dependence, my wish to do something productive for myself, a long hiatus from job inspired my search.  I don’t want to shy away from the fact that blogging happened in my life partly because of my effort to earn money (haven’t earned a single penny so far 😂 as my WordPress plans haven’t been upgraded yet). After a year on WordPress, I am still trying to find my foothold before taking the big leap (God knows when 😊).

And I wrote my first ever blog! I was very apprehensive about its reception. Shared it on my Facebook account and friends did find it good. There was a positive word. And not to mention, it did leave me happy.  Among many thumbs ups, I received a comment of appreciation from my now good friend Chiradeep who invited me to write for “Candles Online” which left me elated and say to myself  “Ok, your first step has landed well, go march ahead!”

With every single word I write, my purpose is to pour out my heart – my innermost feelings, my beliefs to connect with everyone either in agreement or in disagreement.  But what matters is to be able to strike a chord to get a reaction or response. And when the reaction happens to be appreciation it gives a sense of fulfillment.  It makes me believe in myself, “Yes I can do it”, ” Yes I have it in me”.

Well I am a human with innumerable flaws.  I do get carried away by accolades. I constantly strive for a word of appreciation.  It encourages or rather inspires me to bring forth the best in me in everything I do however petty it may be.  From cooking meals to writing an article my inspiration is to elicit a smile, a positive thought, a like.  You would laugh at me if I say that I constantly compare the number of likes, views and comments on my articles.  With every article I write I try to provide better content for everyone to read so as to be appreciated to my heart’s content. Every positive word is a fodder to my thought process – to think deeper, far and better.

Money does matter to me, I did confess it earlier as well, but appreciation keeps me alive as a human who thinks, who cares, who have aspirations.  I am sure every human being unless a saint does hope for some kind of appreciation because that keeps them going.

I have bared my heart to you all.  You can call me self-centered or greedy but my expectation of appreciation is an inspiration to me to implement changes and improvisation either in my work or as a human being.  Can’t help it.

Important Note*. Well it doesn’t mean that I can’t handle a well constructed criticism.  As long as it helps me revive my energies in a productive manner I am game for it.

Waiting for your appreciation, I mean your comment positive or negative for this article 😉.

 

 

TRUST AND DISCOVER

“Your talent is God’s gift to you.

What you do with it is your gift back to God”

It becomes harder to believe, as you constantly grew-up hearing, “you’re good for nothing” and your emotions compel you to believe – “you are scum”.

        My career scores are average!

I have no idea about art and music!

I’m not good looking!

I’m not good in sports!

I don’t know how to pen thoughts!

Even a bull is better than me…

Somewhat this was my journey from “tween to twenty”…

Until you get a turning-point in life you can’t discover the new road and can’t experience how well you can drive!

After getting to the turning point, I met many new people in life. Some were better than me… some were just like me… some were not better than me.

It was the evening of 12th February 2015. I was in a malady and so was my friend with hers. As she shared her situation, I tried to encourage her though it was quite tough then. Our chat ended with a note from her – “okay… I will… You are really a champ dear… I know you are not in a good state but still you are encouraging me… thanks.”

As you comfort others in affliction, God will comfort you through!

It’s tough but POSSIBLE. Be courageous and know that God is with you when you walk through the valleys of death and the high seas of life.

I love to inspire people with morning messages mostly from the Bible. But I didn’t know that, I could even write!

It was 10th January 2016. I meet the Candles man “Chiradeep Patra”. While on our way back from church, he asked me, ‘what do you love to do?’ One of my replies was, ‘I love to share my life with people and love to inspire them with good morning quotes as most of them are away from me.’ Immediately he offered me to write for Candles Online. Though it was a good offer, it was like jumping into the river without the knowledge of swimming. I just prayed, took courage and said, “let me give it a try” and I wrote my first article – “How Good Is Our Mask Of Pretence?” Now inspiring people through writing has become a part of my life. I feel ungrateful to my Highness without doing the part of this heavenly task daily.

You might not have a bag of talents but trust me, “He has fearfully and wonderfully made you in your mother’s womb and has ordained your days. He has assigned you with a purpose. Trust him just as you are, take the courage and be passionate to invest your hidden talents for the heavenly cause.” (The Bible)

CREATE THEM, NURTURE THEM AND THEN… PUBLISH THEM

Around 18 years ago, on one of the nights this happened!

It was 1:10 am and I was sitting at my study table lost in my thoughts staring out in the blackness outside my window. It was quite some time since I have had a look at the watch and when I saw it – I was shocked.

“Oh my God, it has been almost an hour since I did anything constructive. What the hell am I doing wasting my time before the important Maths exam tomorrow?” I felt my heart racing and I quickly checked how much revision was still pending. I realize it is going to take at least 2 more hours which means I cannot sleep before 3 am. And the exam was at 9 am. Less than 3 hours of sleep before an important exam. Phew!!!

This used to be my situation almost every time I studied before exams. So, the question why was I wasting my time when I had so much study to be done. What was I really doing with my book open in front of my eyes, holding a pen but just staring in the black night – thinking? It was day-dreaming.

I was in a habit of day-dreaming anywhere and anytime. But what I dreamt about was something that’s always been very personal to me. I usually dreamt about some stories. Those day-dreams were something like a movie that’s running in my head with the difference that I am not watching those but I am actually the main character of the movie. Those movies sometimes were related to me being the topper of the class and most preferred student by all teachers. Sometimes the stories were around me solving some mysteries. There were also stories in which I would fight with some goons to save somebody’s life and people would call me “super-girl”! Well you get an idea – I was a teenager then.

It was some time during my 9th standard when I decided that I will write down my day-dreams (these weird stories that cooked in my head). And I started to do that. To my surprise, when I would write the stories down – they would turn out to be much better than what I would have thought of. Good thing was that I could read those stories any time without forgetting and actually could build upon them.

It was an interesting time – I had made a few characters (all of them had some part of me). I would make them do whatever I wanted in those stories. I would make them travel places, solve world problems, be courageous and strong. Most of my characters would always end up contributing to the world in a big way. Some of my characters were also scared of the world, some would just end up committing suicide.

In front of the mirror, I used to spend hours and hours enacting a particular character of my story. Because I just had to know how would she/he feel when a particular situation comes up.

I don’t have all those write-ups (only a few). I couldn’t maintain those because I usually wrote in my notebook, at the back of my school work etc. If I could just go back in time – I would love to preserve those little treasures.

This is how the story-teller in me was born. I love writing but more than that I love writing fiction. I love creating those characters and weave their lives up. I love wondering how a particular character would do in a certain situation. I love making these characters my best friends – these people in my head that I can talk to and understand. These people comfort me, they understand me and they even guide me. Some of them are really personal and I might never publish them to the world. But there are many of them who are ready to come out in the world so that people can also know them.

I was busy writing my own collection of short stories couple of years back. After my son was born, this project took a back seat. Someday I believe I will have them published. Though one of my stories has been published in a book named “Your’s lovingly” and few of them got published on webzines (including Candles).

For now, I enjoy creating stories for my son who loves listening a story from me before his bedtime. He loves to listen to them under the moonlight just like I loved creating them.