THE CREATOR DOESN’T PLACE BOYS AND GIRLS IN A HIERARCHY . . . THEN WHY DO WE?

Empowerment of and investment in girls are key in breaking the cycle of discrimination and violence and in promoting and protecting the full and effective enjoyment of their human rights”

-United Nations Resolution 66/170

In 2011, as the result of youth advocacy around the world, the United Nations declared October 11 as the International Day of the Girl Child. Its mission is, “to help galvanize worldwide enthusiasm for goals to better girls’ lives, providing an opportunity for them to show leadership and reach their full potential.”

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When the divine Creator shapes boys and girls, He doesn’t place them in a hierarchy. Then why do we?

Physical and functional differentials are not meant to be indicators of disparity along the social ladder. The stereotypic impressions that tug along with girls (especially in South Asian countries) is that, they are liabilities while boys are regarded as assets. Generations have gone by, education levels have leaped high, girls have proven their mettle in any field you name – still the ill-treatment towards girls lingers on.

True that societal change doesn’t happen overnight, but in the case of attitude towards girls, even decades haven’t been enough! Not many realize that female foeticide is intentional murder of the girl child. The dowry system flaunted by the rich has become a noose for the poor and the middle-class who fail to meet the demands of the sucker grooms and their families. Trafficking of little girls before they attain puberty, underage marriage, forced prostitution, kidnappings, sexual assault (at home/in the workplace/by strangers or trusted people) are the demons each girl child has to live in fear of.

In the context of Indian culture especially, a girl’s birth is said to be for “another’s household”. Case after case has shown that girls take very good care of their parents even after marriage. Still the age-old statement hardly changes! A girl is taught to endure hardships in life, to be adjustive and accommodative, to be less demanding and ‘homely’ because “who knows what type of house she will go to one day”. Aren’t these traits to be equally inculcated in boys as well?

Recently, a friend on the marriage-way shared how her parents don’t bother whether she gets a loving and caring husband or not, as long as the boy has a job in a high position and belongs to the same caste. Her mother’s words being, “a girl has to be under the feet of her husband whether he hits her, kicks her or burns her.” How unfortunate that these lines come from a woman! One feels helpless before people of such mindsets who feel that anyone who raises their voice against such things is without values.

Well for people like these and mindsets like these, observing a day to mark the significance of girls, their rights and their dignity, is so very essential to drive home some vital truths.

“I tell my story, not because it is unique, but because it is not. It is the story of many girls.” Malala Yousafzai (Winner of Nobel Peace Prize 2014)

Malala Yousafzai chose to continue going to school even against the threats of the Taliban and as a result took their bullets in her head. After repeated surgeries, today she is up and about, encouraging girls around the world with her story of survival and voicing her protests against the inhuman and unjust treatment meted out to girls.

Let me tell you it’s not easy to live in Malala’s shoes! It’s not easy to live in the shoes of any girl who has been violated, who has been meted out differential treatment, who has been forced to give up on her rights and wishes and desires, who has been sold off for money, who has been made to believe that she is unwanted, who has been reduced to a commodity to be used for pleasure and then discarded.

It’s a tough world for girls. Can you and I resolve to make a difference?

The theme for International Day of the Girl Child 2017 is – “The Power of the Adolescent Girl: Vision for 2030.”

Statistics say that there are nearly 600 million girls aged 10 to 19 in the world today, each with limitless individual potential. However they are disappearing from public awareness and the international development agenda. Between inequities in secondary education to protection issues, adolescent girls are uniquely impacted. The UN Women believes that investing in adolescent girls can have a formidable ripple effect to create a better world by 2030.

Let’s resolve to bring these disappearing adolescent girls back to the visibility radar. One small effort in this direction would be, to be effective role models in our attitudes towards girls. Remember the next generation is watching! Let’s teach our boys while they are small to treat girls with the dignity that is due them. Let’s determine not to watch any shows or movies that objectify women just for the sake of entertainment. Let’s resolve not to be a part of any crass humour involving girls/women.

Little by little, step by step, hand in hand, we can be the change we want to see.

 

UNDERSTANDING THE PSYCHOLOGICAL ASPECT OF ADOLESCENTS’ ATTRACTION AND LUST

The very topic “Attraction and Lust” is such a subject which maximum people avoid to discuss about. Our culture has many a times made sex a topic to be avoided. But in the true sense it is a very significant subject which everyone should have knowledge of.

Today I would like to draw the readers’ attention to the psychological aspect of adolescents’ attraction and lust. Generally there are four stages of human development i.e infancy, childhood, adolescence and adulthood. I would like to emphasis only on the sexual aspect of Adolescence, as it is the most crucial stage of an individual. The growth achieved, experience gained, responsibilities felt, the relationships developed and the knowledge acquired at this stage of life destine the complete future life of an individual. Raymond calls it “The Renaissance Age” of an individual.

Sexual maturity in the adolescent is the central theme of this stage. The sexual energy emerges with great force at the onset of adolescence which remains dormant at childhood. Due to the sudden and vigorous functioning of sexual glands, sexual organs grow and the sex instincts reach their peak. Both boys and girls become extremely self-conscious and children who are antagonistic to the opposite sex start showing great interest and attraction towards the opposite sex. The ductless glands make them sexually active and there is an urge to satisfy the sexual cravings which so often leads them to masturbation.

Adolescence is also marked as a period of extreme emotional instability, where all kinds of emotions like anxiety, fear, love, anger, etc are extreme. Adolescents are too moody, disturbed, restless, sensitive and inflammable and their emotions fluctuate frequently and quickly. It is important that the parents and teachers should be very much aware of the peculiar mindset of the adolescents and should guide them successfully through this difficult period of their life, as this is the stage of human life where most of the individuals divert themselves into the wrong track….often establishing sexual relationship with the members of opposite sex. It should be mandatory for every sensible institution to arrange adequate ‘Adolescence Education’ for healthy growth which includes instruction on reproductive and sexual health.

— Arpita Dutta