AM I HEALING OR KILLING?

Advice!

I actually hold the phone hanging in my hands instead of pressing it against my ears when someone starts giving it for a long time. 😛

But advice with understanding and with much care always gets instilled in the hearts of people. That’s how one particular advice got implanted in my heart in such a manner that I have never forgotten it in my life though I confess that, I have failed to obey it all the time.

I have written articles, telling about this specific advice many times, I have given the same advice to many of those who seek counsel from me, and I have used it as an illustration while giving sermons in the church.

Why I am telling all these? Yeah, I just wanted to prove that this is the advice that has stuck with me for a long time and will remain with me till my death.

Now without any delay, let’s talk about the advice I am so serious about…

I know it very well that when I speak rashly, it feels exactly like the piercing of a sword, but when I use my tongue wisely, I bring healing to the hearts of the people listening to me  -yet, I am very rash with my words.  I am very good at juggling with them – yet, I know it can be used either ways. I can comfort a hurting soul with my words; I can motivate and inspire others with my words… And at the same time, I can scold, hurt and kill someone using the same tongue of mine.

My former boss had observed this character of mine so well that before he left our organization, he made me sit with him and spoke gently with this piece of advice – “Chiradeep, always think ten times before you utter any words, because once the words are out, you can’t take them back.

It is imprinted within my heart. These words always ring in my ears and keep reminding me whenever I fail to oblige to these precious words of him.

In conclusion, I want to quote one Bible verse that always encourages and strengthens me to hold onto the advice of my former boss and that verse is –

The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

Friends! Do we keep this in mind, whether our words are healing or killing someone’s spirit?

Keep reading as you ponder upon this small thought…

Stay Blessed!

​STOP USING FOUL WORDS – OH… IT’S TOUGH

‘Evil always comes in its best outfit!’

In grade – V, I joined a new school and being a shy introvert kid, it took me quite a month to make new friends. In that one month, I always hesitated to mingle with my classmates. During the recreation periods, I never left my schoolbag and classroom bench and every day as I enter the classroom the only thing was in my mind – “when the last bell will ring!” While struggling for my survival in the new group, I always observed one thing that, whenever there is a fight among any of my classmates. The guy who wins the fight is the one who uses some kind of sign language with some powerful words. And my innocent mind instructed, “I must learn these words for my survival in this group” and behold on the last day of school I was well known of doing the thesis in the subject – “Foul Words”.

Let me share you a story I heard in one of the lectures of Dr Ravi Zacharias:

Once the junior devil was assigned to make a good man evil but after several attempts, he reported to the senior devil ‘Sir, it’s impossible to make that person one like us’.

Senior devil: Give me his daily routine.

Junior devil: Everyday he wakes up early morning prays to God then goes for a morning walk and listen to some devotional music and then goes office, very sincerely does his works and returns at night and spent time with family.

Senior devil: Have you noticed any of his good habits?

Junior devil: Yes Sir, he loves to learn and is fond of reading.

Senior devil: Oh…my goodness, there’s you missed the opportunity! Go back and appear before him in the best outfit of learning.

Often for the sake of learning without a discerning heart, we embrace many bad things!

Though it was too difficult and had to face several failures of stop using foul words yet finally I did it.

Bible says,

‘Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.’

After two years of leaving school, my elder sister and I were in our bicycles in a busy road, suddenly I saw one of my school friends calling me in foul words and waving hands in the midst of crowd and my immediate reaction was to check where are my sister and my goodness she was little ahead. The best option for me was to sneak out from that location without responding my friend.

We cannot change our old age terrible habits until we realise that what we do is wrong and it will spoil our identity. Every action leaves its influence! The second peg of wine is offered because of the acceptance of the first peg.

One step every time helps us to reach the rooftop. When we practice it to feel sorry for uttering foul words, it helps to slice it every time from our life.

Every Saint was once a Sinner!

It’s very true to say – I tried, and I can’t make it, I failed! But it’s I who tried it’s not I who realized and seek His infinite power in my trial. When we realize our sin and draws closer to God seeking His power to help us, it is the God of His eternal, infinite power that helps us to overcome our sinful always. He does it at the exact time by reminding us our commitment of not committing the same old-age sin.

Being human we make good commitments but forget while committing sin and realize after committing sin but seeking God’s help will benefit us by reminding our commitment at our weak time and re-energises our soul to sacrifice everything that comes along the way just to stand perfect before God and human and leave a perfect influence.

God be with you!

EFFECTS OF BAD WORDS ON CHILDREN

Foul Languages and cursing have always been considered as bad whether you shout against injustice or you are among the hooligans.  When we were kids we used to hear many such profanities of people fighting with each other on the street.  And when a drunkard used to use those languages and shout walking on the roads we used to hide ourselves behind the parapet of the balcony and watch them with our eyes wide open. Sometimes we were driven out by our elders off the balcony to stop hearing or looking at them. And I remember when we used to enact those actions of such people using those foul words we used to get the beatings from our moms. But these languages have all the more bad and have an adverse effects on children when parents do that to their little ones. I will bring THREE very vital effects of the foul words on the young minds of children.

Learning Bad Behaviour

Children often imitate their parents and elder siblings who abuse them with bad or foul words. They just tend to learn those words and speak later whether they fully understand those words or not. Sometimes they use those words in the school and get punishment from the teachers. They get humiliated for behaving bad or using bad words all because of their parents.

Poor Stress & Anger Management

Abusing with bad words at the children can lead them to believe that using coarse words is an acceptable way of dealing with anger, frustration and stress. They take the examples of their parents and their actions get registered in their young subconscious minds. When they grow up they display or react in the similar manner. Recurrent cursing or verbal abuse could lead them to have trouble at school and difficulty forming and maintaining close relationships. As adults, they might have trouble asserting themselves in their career and intimate relationships.

Affects their Self-Esteem

When parents curse at their children, use abusive words that can be emotionally devastating for them. Children are emotionally vulnerable and depend on their parents’ reactions to form healthy self-esteem and a positive sense of self. When they curse at their child out of their own frustration and anger, they might internalize their parents’ hostility. They tend to feel worthless and unloved. Ultimately lowering their self-esteem.

I picked up few abusive words in my own native language that I had learnt when I was small. Sometimes, I use them when I pass comments on someone jokingly and not taken as an offense but I am sure some might have got hurt for that also without my knowledge.

There two Bible verses that attract me in this regard –

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”

“Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.”

As parents, as elders what do you do when you are angry on your children? Do they feel pressed down by your words or feel the grace when they hear your words? Do you use foul words to scold them? Do you shout at others using abusive words in front of your children? Mind it, they pick those words and can hurl them at others or you sometime later.

Keep reading and keep learning…

Stay Blessed!