In the Mega article last Sunday, Rajnandini has already made it very clear about the issue of conflicts and how to tackle it wisely. In the following days we added few more to that list. And I always recapitulate by adding little more to the things that we had already discussed throughout the week. But this time my plan was bit different. I thought of writing a review on another article which is not part of Candles Online.
I was reading an article “Conflict Resolution Skills” in a site which I would like to mention here. I have quoted few portions of the original article below that I thought to be very important for all of us:
|Healthy and unhealthy ways of managing and resolving conflict|
|Unhealthy responses to conflict:||Healthy responses to conflict:|
|An inability to recognize and respond to the things that matter to the other person||The capacity to recognize and respond to the things that matter to the other person|
|Explosive, angry, hurtful, and resentful reactions||Calm, non-defensive, and respectful reactions|
|The withdrawal of love, resulting in rejection, isolation, shaming, and fear of abandonment||A readiness to forgive and forget, and to move past the conflict without holding resentments or anger|
|An inability to compromise or see the other person’s side||The ability to seek compromise and avoid punishing|
|The fear and avoidance of conflict; the expectation of bad outcomes||A belief that facing conflict head on is the best thing for both sides|
Wonderfully described… Isn’t it?
The writer has also given the tips for managing & resolving conflicts which I have stated as under:
- Listen for what is felt as well as said. When we listen we connect more deeply to our own needs and emotions, and to those of other people. Listening also strengthens us, informs us, and makes it easier for others to hear us when it’s our turn to speak.
- Make conflict resolution the priority rather than winning or “being right.” Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than “winning” the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and his or her viewpoint.
- Focus on the present. If you’re holding on to grudges based on past resentments, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here-and-now to solve the problem.
- Pick your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so it’s important to consider whether the issue is really worthy of your time and energy. Maybe you don’t want to surrender a parking space if you’ve been circling for 15 minutes, but if there are dozens of empty spots, arguing over a single space isn’t worth it.
- Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can never compensate for our losses and only adds to our injury by further depleting and draining our lives.
- Know when to let something go. If you can’t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on.
This article is a great article which I thought needed to be read for our help.
Keep reading and keep commenting…