RECONCILE OR REMOVE? A FIGHT BETWEEN THE NORMAL & SUPREME

Avoid-Running-Into-Walls-Step-7I am at odds with this term at the moment. Every time I hear ‘Reconciliation’, the word ‘Remove’ comes to mind. I read through the previous articles and they did make a lot of sense. But due to some reason the former word is stuck in the corner of my mind.

I understand reconciliation… I understand second chances… I mean where we all would be in the world had we not been given second chances. But is reconciliation the rule or the exception?? Does everybody deserve it?

Sometimes it’s not the ego but the hurt and lack of faith in the person that stops us. Sometimes the person in question might have irrevocably changed the dynamics of the relation. They might have acted out consciously without care of what might be the consequence. There are people in our life who are flawed but we would give them hundred chances rather than see them part from our lives.

But the question stands, Are they deserving of those chances? In such cases is it not better to ‘remove’ than ‘reconcile?’ Is it not better that rather than reconciling with person we reconcile with the fact that sometimes the happy ending of a story is letting them go in odds to loosing yourselves!!!

This is the initial emotion that surges out from within when we get hurt.

But… keeping aside my normal feeling if I ponder deeply I feel we might think of ignoring or removing when we are hurt by a stranger and we don’t have any scope to meet with him/her again but what if he/she is our close relative, our beloved friend and neighbours with whom we have good relationship previously. How can we ignore when we meet them daily on our way to school, college or work place! We can’t ignore or remove them completely. Somehow we make some compromises with them.

Again I feel ‘Reconciliation’ has levels too. The degree of reconciliation with a closest family member or relative is higher than that with a close friend or a neighbour. I hope I made it clear.

The fight between the normal and supreme will continue till the end and we need to remember that removing or ignoring is a normal human action but reconciliation is a higher and supreme level of action. Reconciliation is prompted by love which is supreme of all. It is not easy. In fact it is very difficult but not impossible.

TRUE FORGIVENESS & GENUINE REPENTANCE BRING ABOUT RECONCILIATION


Forgiveness

TRUE FORGIVENESS

Reconciliation and Restoration does not happen immediately. It’s a gradual process which begins with true forgiveness. When we forgive someone from the heart without holding on to resentment…reconciliation begins. This is one side of the story.

GENUINE REPENTANCE

Reconciliation is a process which takes time to rebuild the trust…but again it depends on the genuine repentance on the part of the offender. This is the other side of the story.

HARMONY BETWEEN BOTH

Reconciliation focuses on restoring broken relationships and bringing about harmony. And where trust is deeply broken it takes much time.

FORGIVENESS FINALIZES RESTORATION 

Forgiving a person who has hurt us very badly is very difficult and regaining that trust seems even more difficult. But when we truly want to re-establish our relationship and forgive from our heart, we experience immeasurable joy and peace that words cannot express.

Therefore, friends…forgive, reconcile and restore …and reward yourself with peace and joy.

Indira Patra

RE-BEAUTIFY AND SAVOUR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

heart-668592_1280The word ‘reconcile’ has been derived from the Latin word reconciliāre which means ‘to make good again’. It is a word which is used in the context of human relationships only. It means to re-beautify a relationship which was once good and beautiful, but has lost its charm overtime.

Think of a beautiful new garment which you have very fondly purchased. One fine day you discover a few stains on it. What would you do? Would you throw it away? Or would you make an attempt to remove the grease and the stains and try to restore it to its former pristine beauty? Some of us would take the extreme step of discarding it altogether. However, most of us would make multiple attempts to clean the garment. In fact, some of us would decide to keep the garment in our closet unworn for years, if the stain doesn’t go away.

If this is the fond attachment we tend to show for an apparel which we have purchased with money, how much more concern do we need to show for the strained relationships in our lives which cannot be bought or sold with money!

The selfish bitterness, vindictive malice and mindless hatred that stain our relationships can be effectively washed away by using true humility, merciful forgiveness and unconditional love as the cleansing agents.

Rajnandini

EMPTINESS OF HEART HAS THE POTENTIAL TO ACT ON RECONCILIATION

brothers-and-sisters-692822_1280

The parable of the Prodigal son may be looked upon as a tale of forgiveness but there can be another approach to the subject. Here, we come across a man and his two sons.

One day, the younger son demands his share of the property from his father so that he could go abroad and live a luxurious life. With much hesitation but keeping his son’s momentary happiness in view the father divides his wealth and lets the son take away his share. The younger son goes abroad and squanders off his wealth among the friends he acquired.

Gradually he is left with nothing. Struggling for survival, he seeks shelter in the house of a man who put him on a job of looking after his pigs. When he encountered hunger, guilt and sorrow, he realized his mistake and thus decided to reconcile with his father. When he returned to his father, he forgave him as he was eagerly waiting for his son to return to him. And thus, his royal life was given back to him.

This feeling of reconciliation only comes when a person feels empty inside. The boy felt so and given his circumstances he could have decided to not to go back to his loving father dwelling on his guilt and embarrassment. Regardless of his father’s reaction he reached out to him. Many of us could have chosen our ego over reconciliation or even contemplated suicide, if we felt dead with guilt. The prodigal son’s elder brother was unwilling to forgive him but with the guidance of his father he too agreed to a reconciliation. Therefore, friends we can follow the example of these two brothers who chose reconciliation over their ego and self.

Next time you feel empty consider what the positive part in your heart says and choose to be productive.

Ruth Samarpita Sarkar

“EGO IS AN DEADLY ENEMY OF RECONCILIATION” – A LESSON ON WORLD PEACE DAY

i-741508_1280Today, September 21st is celebrated as the ‘International Peace Day’ and my good friend Kriti commented on yesterday’s Article on Reconciliation like this: “Sometimes peace is better than being right.. Ego should be kept apart when any issues arise between family or best friends… After all, ego will be just for an hour or day, but relationships are forever!”

She was absolutely right.

I was trying to see the dictionary meaning of the word EGO online, which describes it as: “A sense of one’s own dignity or worth, amour-propre, pride, self-esteem, self-regard, self-respect.” 

Huh! Reconciliation can’t happen at all with a person possessing the above explained attitude within him/her because ‘Reconciliation is an Humbling Experience.’

Pride is absent in Humility where as the base of Ego is Pride.

Now it is very clear to understand that how ego comes in the way of the good act of Reconciliation. There are many today who feel the need of reconciliation with their loved ones, they cry and feel sad day and night for being at a distance with their loved ones yet their ego keeps them unmoved. That is very sad.

As I mentioned earlier, that I feel so desperate to reconcile with the person I fought with previously. That’s because ego is for an hour or a day, but relationships are forever.

Friends! Is EGO the enemy, holding us back from Reconciling with our loved ones? The Bible says, Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” An enemy always destroys. So today on ‘World Peace Day,’ let’s get rid of Ego & Pride at once and reconcile to live a peaceful, happy and joyous life with our loved ones, fellow human beings and with our neighboring countries.

Stay Blessed!

(READ the Mega Article: “7 FACTORS TO RECONCILE WITH YOUR LOVED ONES & RESTORE A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP)