MY SEARCH FOR A DIFFERENT SUCCESS

Few days back I was gliding through my LinkedIn page. One of my distant relative updated her status “promoted to the position of Director”. I was happy to see her succeed but in another moment started self introspection “what I am doing?” , ” Where I am standing?”, “Will I ever succeed in my life?”. Basically I was anxious about “will I ever be able to EARN?” A question that I am struggling for a longtime now.

But is it just about money? Answer is an absolute NO. It’s about my craving for Identity. My thoughts at that (on many occasions) point were convoluted. I want to earn, I want name for myself, I want financial independence. I kept applying for jobs. Many applications were rejected outright, few made for interview round but success still eluded me. It was not just the applications that were being rejected but a piece of self was slowly dying inside. One of the reasons that prompted me to start blogging was to put forth my opinions and earn (I am not ashamed of admitting that). Five years now and the kind of success I supposed it would fetch me is still a distant dream. Who and what shall be blamed? No one except me and nothing except my lack of regularity, missing niche (my work doesn’t stick to one genre).

Am I a complete failure? Last week my friend’s husband came to dinner (we are careful enough to follow the social bubble 😁). Out of nowhere he asked me “how’s your blogging going, seems you have a good fan following”. I dismissed him with a smile “No, nothing like that” . To this he told me that one of his friends sent him a link of one my blog (never before he read any of my articles) and praised it too. His friend liked the subtle manner of explanation, relatability of issues/situations mentioned. And as a matter of fact I never met or spoke to the “friend”. There was a certain sense of euphoria for me at that moment. That night I decided to once again go through the comments on my articles. That was the moment of realization for me. My success is not in the additional perks of followers, hits on site and money but how well I can connect to the people. How well I can communicate, how I can impact, how can I be a part of lives of those reading my words in some or the other way, how well I can motivate myself to reflect positivity in my work, Am I making any difference, Am I putting forth a good message relevant to people, Am I honest while voicing my opinions, Am I trending the path I talk about or refer to – My parameters of Success. Falling short of even one criteria renders me unsuccessful in my judgement! And I believe that’s the worse.

What inference my failures have given me? I was looking for “success” in the form of an offer letter, a designation and a certain amount credited every month to my bank account. What if I get them at this moment, would it put an end to my quest and thirst for “success”?. I might have been aiming for a higher pedestal everytime. Nothing wrong in that, absolutely. But what is wrong is getting bogged down if your plans and results aren’t in linear correlation. Wrong is deeming yourself to be worthless. Wrong is inability to draw inspiration from people and incidents showing us a different way and zest to live life as we are too consumed by a bubble we have created in our minds. In short wrong is inability to respect life and the designs almighty have for us ( I may be professionally unemployed because someone else might be more competent, qualified and in need – it’s that simple). And identity of a person is about the perception and ideologies one owns, can never be defined by a designation or job role. And people knowing me by my work irrespective of the level of fame (non existent 😁) I might have acquired is purely my Success!

I Have Decided My Path: I will keep writing, I have stories to tell, I have messages to deliver. In that process if I earn materialistic success I will receive that. In case not I have my own yardstick to measure success – Have I made you think? If yes I am SUCCESSFUL!!

FEW WORDS OF WISDOM ON REJECTION

I thought to post tonight’s snippet in a different way. I was surfing internet and found few interesting yet valuable quotes on Rejection on a website called, “http://quotesgram.com‘ which I want to share here as under:

What a beautiful picture ahead of REJECTION! But its true this path will be very difficult.

 

Perfect! The more you are rejected, the more ambitious you are…

My wife’s ex-principal told her once, “If somebody rejects you by just at your look then he/she will lose what you worth.” The above quote reminded me of that.

More on rejection might bore you. Let me stop here as you all ponder on these valuable quotes. You may not accept it fully but all of these quotes have different angles that will definitely help you to view Rejection with a special eye.

I liked the last quote the most. I remember my uncle saying “Better is enemy of Good and Best is the enemy of Better.” This quote reminded me of that.

Keep Reading, keep commenting…

Stay Blessed!!!

OVERCOMING REJECTION

Cathie’s world fell apart when her husband left her for another woman. She felt rejected.

When Robert discovered that his parents had abandoned him early in life because of his physical handicap, he felt rejected.

Sheena realized that she was being ill-treated by her own family members just because she was a girl. She felt rejected.

Rohan always found himself alone and ignored by friends because of his dark skin and rotund appearance. He felt rejected by his peers.

Shalini’s husband deserted her when she was diagnosed with malignant melanoma. She was heart-broken. She felt rejected.

Sneha was devastated to learn that her mother had abandoned her soon after birth because she was born out of the wed-lock. The people she knew to be her family, were in fact her foster family. She felt rejected.

If we look around us, we would find several people who feel riveted to the valley because they have been rejected for their beliefs, poor intellect, appearance, gender, race, religion, profession, economic standards and so on.

Why look at others alone? How many times have you and I felt rejected?

All human beings have an innate need for acceptance. When this need is not met, we feel rejected. Rejection robs us of our confidence and self-esteem. It shatters our peace of mind and lowers our level of performance.

If rejection in some form and at some point of time in life is inevitable, how do we hold ourselves together when feeling rejected?

Remember three indisputable truths :

  • The Creator of the universe has engraved you in the palms of His hands. You are treasured!
  • The very hairs of your head are numbered by God. He is interested in you!
  • You are the apple of God’s eye. He loves you like no one else does!

Tide through rejection with the strength of the Almighty and march on ahead with renewed gusto!

(Disclaimer: The names used in this article are fictitious and have no resemblance to any person dead or alive.  Any unintended resemblance is deeply regretted.)

— Rajnandini Sahu

HOW REJECTION CAN BENEFIT YOU?

When we talk of rejection, the approach is always negative. 

Rejection is more often than not equated with sorrow, loneliness, struggle, pain, depression, and even revenge.

But what if we can take rejection, and use it for our benefit? Yes, there will be hurt, there will be pain; but that is only temporary.

Consider this.

I was fresh out of college, a graduate, and was desperate to get a great Master’s degree; I had studied in prestigious institutions prior to this, so of course I wanted to get into the best PG college too. 

I set my eyes on one of the best. Let’s not take any names here, but I can tell you it is in Chennai. I attempted the written test, got through and was called for a group discussion and personal interview. I was ecstatic. In Chennai, it all went well, and I was sure I would get through.

I didn’t.

I was crushed. In fact, ‘crushed’ does not even begin to explain what I felt. It was like my life had fallen apart. You see, rejection does that to you, it makes you feel SO small, that you wonder if your life is important at all? 

But I did something that I always do; I prayed. I asked God for forgiveness for forcing things to go ‘my way’. And my heart began to heal. 

I got through another institution in Pune city, and studied with some of the most intelligent minds there. My Director was an encourager and a motivator. All in all, it was one of the best times of my life.

But, do you want to know the icing on the cake?

After more than 10 years of work experience, my very colleagues are graduates from the Chennai institution! We all landed up in the same organisation! 

So folks, mourn your rejection, whatever it may be, but don’t let it rule your life. Who knows, you have something even better coming your way?

WHAT ARE THE POSSIBLE REASONS OF GETTING REJECTED?

So far we have known what is the scientific and psychological aspect of Rejection? We are also aware of the fact that ‘Rejection’ has been experienced by everyone at a point of time in life and that its consequences are inevitable. I would like to tug at the emotional aspect of rejection. It does make me cringe and I know you will too as this is really not a comfortable topic to talk on.

No one wants to be rejected at any point in life as we all don’t want to be left alone but why does rejection happen in the first place? I may not be correct but my words come out from what I have experienced in my life. Often we fail to resist certain things in life where we were supposed to do it. For example, during preparation for an exam you could not resist watching the television where you needed to concentrate on studies. And thus, you were not chosen as the one who was among the best scorers in the test. This is just one form of rejection. There are other areas also where we get rejected.

Another situation tells us that the ideals in you are not always accepted by others therefore you are rejected. This is involuntary. No, I am not telling you to change your morals. I too have been rejected because of these two reasons. But that did not stop me from believing in myself and giving myself a chance to see good in others and as well as within me.

The One whose teachings I follow was rejected by a mass of people and it is inevitable that I too would face rejection. But following His example I learnt to correct myself in the ways in which I was wrong and trust me this is indeed a very long process. I was not alone in this. God was with me.

We can channelize our inner strength so that we can resist certain things in life and try to learn to build trust with people around us. Rejection too happens when there is the absence of trust. Sometimes we don’t put in much effort to build the trust and stop listening to our ideal self ( by which I mean the right thing and not what I think is right). But there is light at the end of the tunnel and this is just a phase. As soon as you start keeping faith in the One above and hope, you will find yourself gradually coming out of the phase. Now you have learned to handle rejection.

— Ruth Samarpita Sarkar

WHY DO WE FACE REJECTION? HOW PREPARED ARE WE TO FACE IT?

worthlessness-927079_1920To ponder upon the term ‘Rejection’, – every individual, everyday, in every aspect and at some point of time in life faces it. Some may face it as a student, some in career set-ups and some others in different kinds of relationships etc.

Sometimes people make the mistake of labelling irresponsible and rash behaviour as ‘risk-taking’. They often end up with negative results and start blaming their fate for having faced rejection. After facing it for the first time, many people often start building a negative view in themselves and fear of being rejected further. But as a matter of fact ‘fear of rejection’ is often more worst than facing rejection itself. We may face it several times in our life but we must yet take up the risk of facing it, as it helps us build more of our confidence, firm attitude, self- determination, commitment etc. 

In order to overcome rejection, we should always inculcate within ourselves the desire to sow, as desire is the starting point to handle or overcome rejection. It’s a bigger mistake of ‘not making the attempt and be rejected’ rather than ‘making the attempt and being rejected.’ In my personal life too I had to face lots of rejections. But it didn’t shatter my positive view towards life. Instead I became more confident, self-determined and achieved more positive attitude to face rejection with preparation in the future. 

Dear friends, rejection is only a detour, not a dead end. It is just a delay, not a defeat. It’s better to be ‘for something’ rather than ‘against something.’ Vince Lombardi has rightly quoted – “Everyone has a will to win but very few have the will to prepare to win.”

— Arpita Dutta