Few days back I was gliding through my LinkedIn page. One of my distant relative updated her status “promoted to the position of Director”. I was happy to see her succeed but in another moment started self introspection “what I am doing?” , ” Where I am standing?”, “Will I ever succeed in my life?”. Basically I was anxious about “will I ever be able to EARN?” A question that I am struggling for a longtime now.
But is it just about money? Answer is an absolute NO. It’s about my craving for Identity. My thoughts at that (on many occasions) point were convoluted. I want to earn, I want name for myself, I want financial independence. I kept applying for jobs. Many applications were rejected outright, few made for interview round but success still eluded me. It was not just the applications that were being rejected but a piece of self was slowly dying inside. One of the reasons that prompted me to start blogging was to put forth my opinions and earn (I am not ashamed of admitting that). Five years now and the kind of success I supposed it would fetch me is still a distant dream. Who and what shall be blamed? No one except me and nothing except my lack of regularity, missing niche (my work doesn’t stick to one genre).
Am I a complete failure? Last week my friend’s husband came to dinner (we are careful enough to follow the social bubble 😁). Out of nowhere he asked me “how’s your blogging going, seems you have a good fan following”. I dismissed him with a smile “No, nothing like that” . To this he told me that one of his friends sent him a link of one my blog (never before he read any of my articles) and praised it too. His friend liked the subtle manner of explanation, relatability of issues/situations mentioned. And as a matter of fact I never met or spoke to the “friend”. There was a certain sense of euphoria for me at that moment. That night I decided to once again go through the comments on my articles. That was the moment of realization for me. My success is not in the additional perks of followers, hits on site and money but how well I can connect to the people. How well I can communicate, how I can impact, how can I be a part of lives of those reading my words in some or the other way, how well I can motivate myself to reflect positivity in my work, Am I making any difference, Am I putting forth a good message relevant to people, Am I honest while voicing my opinions, Am I trending the path I talk about or refer to – My parameters of Success. Falling short of even one criteria renders me unsuccessful in my judgement! And I believe that’s the worse.
What inference my failures have given me? I was looking for “success” in the form of an offer letter, a designation and a certain amount credited every month to my bank account. What if I get them at this moment, would it put an end to my quest and thirst for “success”?. I might have been aiming for a higher pedestal everytime. Nothing wrong in that, absolutely. But what is wrong is getting bogged down if your plans and results aren’t in linear correlation. Wrong is deeming yourself to be worthless. Wrong is inability to draw inspiration from people and incidents showing us a different way and zest to live life as we are too consumed by a bubble we have created in our minds. In short wrong is inability to respect life and the designs almighty have for us ( I may be professionally unemployed because someone else might be more competent, qualified and in need – it’s that simple). And identity of a person is about the perception and ideologies one owns, can never be defined by a designation or job role. And people knowing me by my work irrespective of the level of fame (non existent 😁) I might have acquired is purely my Success!
I Have Decided My Path: I will keep writing, I have stories to tell, I have messages to deliver. In that process if I earn materialistic success I will receive that. In case not I have my own yardstick to measure success – Have I made you think? If yes I am SUCCESSFUL!!
Earlier I had spoken about ceasing to live in failure and moving forward. But to most of us this would seem as a Herculean task as our mind replays the mishaps occurred to us again and again. However, we should make an attempt to believe that there is always a way out. No situation especially bad ones is constant. We have heard that time is the best healer but some questions pop in my mind. Do we really come out of our failed situations completely? Do we have the strength to visit those places in our minds years later without getting hurt?
When I questioned myself, I probably could answer and it was a yes. I viewed my bad times as a time of assessment. I was able to do a reality check on myself. It was an opportunity for me to look for good in the situation so that things can be better. There has to be some good in the failure that will inspire.
It was during this time that I had an urge to learn new things and make myself updated about the world around me. An android language learning application helped me to learn a foreign language along with which I concentrated on my passion as a dancer. We all have hobbies, interests and hidden talents. This is the time to discover and nurture them.
I found my way out of the failure when I chose to view it differently. I thought about what good it did to me and soon I encountered the strong and confident person who was hidden within me. My failure seemed to be a tiny error in front of the new achievements that I made.
Let us believe we are worthy of rewards even though at times we are at fault ’cause it would help us spring up to a height whenever we hit the bottom. It would be a wonderful gift from you to yourself.
— Ruth Samarpita Sarkar
His fiancé died. He suffered great loss in his business, lost 8 elections. Had he given up he wouldn’t have gone to become the 16th president of the United States of America. It was Sir Abraham Lincoln who went to the top despite of failures in his initial life.
He was cut out from his high school basketball team. Had he given up then he wouldn’t have gone on to become the world famous basketball player Michael Jordan.
People are so afraid of failures. It is sometimes this fear of failure that stops people to even take a chance. They compromise or give up just at the thought.
Mary Anne Radmacher says, “Courage doesn’t always roar, sometimes courage is the small voice at the end of the day that says, I will try again tomorrow.” Everybody faces rejection or failure in their life. But people who have tried in spite of it have gone on to become Inspirations.
There are so many such legends apart from Abraham Lincoln and Michael Jordan who have not given up when faced with such situations which can be narrated to reflect their amazing courage amidst failures. But it is important how we replicate them and their courageous acts in our life situations.
— Avishikta Dey
Often when we fail to achieve something, we accept it to be the ultimate truth. It is then that we start relating the cause of our failure with every other minor mishap in our life. We look down upon ourselves and lose confidence in everything that we do.
But one thing should also be taken into consideration, that life is not a bed of roses. It is prone to being vulnerable. Failures are a part of life as is Success. It is the part of the process of learning how to accept defeat and eventually picking yourself up and moving on.
This is the path of making of a strong and confident person who is hiding somewhere behind the failed person that we project to be.
Therefore, we can strive to be that person and stop feeling like a failure.
— Ruth Samarpita Sarkar
There was a boy who wanted to be one of the best batsman of his school cricket team. He played 2 tournaments but failed miserably, scoring really low. He was disheartened and broken to the core and prayed to God to give him strength. God gave him something else, He gave the little boy an information. God said “Boy, if you continue to learn from your mistakes in previous tournaments, you will succeed exactly at your 8th tournament.”
Boy was astonished but he believed it. He now felt excited, because now he knew that every failure was getting him one step closer to success.
That’s the reason, failures are called the stepping stones to success. Success is incomplete without these steps and impossible to reach.
So, do not avoid failures, learn from them and move on…
There are times when we are encountered with failures in the different spheres in our lives.
But these should not be viewed as the end of the story.
Risk-taking comes in as an advantage as eventually it leads us to success.
If not success, a lesson for sure.
— Ruth Samarpita Sarkar