My favourite read

Of all the beautiful reads I had, the one that I could not get over was Rachael Lippincott’s five feet apart. I remember waking up for hours in the middle of the night, checking up my tab and having the long read. Intriguing, emotional, heart-wrenching and absorbing is how I define my favourite book.

Picture Credit : Google

The story of the Stella Grant and Will Newman still makes my heart flutter. It dealt with Abby’s and Poe’s death, how the two affected Stella’s life and Will left her amidst this giving her a new life. The drug trial involved with cystic fibrosis patients having B.Cepacica was a whole new concept that gives us a sense of hope and the author wishes it too that one day such a treatment be found.

Having five feet apart in my collection is what that made me ponder about the life, the death, the love and the perseverance. It’s written with a heart that believes true love exists even in the most unrealistic circumstances. Don’t know where to start but this book has so much to say and what not to teach. A careful read of this book taught me that the death is inevitable to all and what we are supposed to do is to live in the moment and make the best use of it. When on medications what one must not lack is perseverance and the faith. It proves that love is the ultimate expression of the will to live. And children’s love is what binds the parents together when the terminal illness evokes in. Where there’s a love, there’s a sacrifice. It values the human touch as the premium ease of all sufferings. The protagonist of the story, Stella shows that girls know coding too. It shows how the transgenders share the equal rights and how the socialisation and technology has made living easy, causing awareness and helping people win the battle over a terminal illness such as that of cystic fibrosis. And above all, what this book had for me is one more lesson teaching never to take your health for granted.

CAN NEVER THANK ENOUGH

Dear Babai & Pinni,

There are days when you simply can’t express yourself good enough. There are only two reasons for that situation, either nothing much to say or so much to say that you find yourself amidst rare numbness and words simply don’t find their way from heart to mouth. I identify myself with the second reason. And I feel I will be in this situation till the end of my life : Can never thank you both enough for how you impacted my life at different stages and phases.

Babai, I have never seen a person as emotional and straight forward as you are. I have always been in awe of how far you have gone for the people you care for. Since the time I started understanding relationships and their beauty & importance in human life, I have seen you as a rock who stood by your brother (my father) in his thick and thin. At the times when relationships are motivated, made, twisted and broken by money, thanks to you we never saw such moments in our family. I saw how you would never take it lying down whenever people hinted disrespect towards my father. Your sibling love gave our generation sibling goals – to love, support and respect our siblings unconditionally. Thanks for making our family an epitome of brotherly love for the world to see, it isn’t an exaggeration.

It’s a popular belief that to make or break a family, the responsibility lies with the lady of the house. And I can proudly say that I belong to a family that got amazing women who no matter what makes sure that family bonds are not severed. And leading from the front is you, Pinni (Chachi/aunt). Babai’s (uncle’s) love for us can be understood by the linear nature of relationship we had – brotherly love. But you are the support system of Babai who always stood by his decisions. You embraced us as your own kids. You have always been my idol when I think about strong, independent woman. A woman with strong values who values family, wisdom being your second name, love and compassion is your identity. I am fortunate enough to share the same date of birth (same date, same month) with you. You have an immense impact on how a woman has to take charge of her family and bind it. After 11 years of marriage if I can relate to happiness and sorrows of my extended family from my husband’s side, its because of a wonderful lady like you. Thank you so much for all the love, motivation and inspiration you have showered on me and still doing it. And before I forget to mention, it’s always great to spend time with you, it’s fun second to none.

Both of you have cared for me and my brother like your own children, a rarity in these selfish times we are living. You hold the same place as our parents in our hearts.

And it would be so insensitive and wrong on many accounts if here I don’t mention about my sweet little sister, Divya. As a child she used to be our favourite for she used to be super cute and we used to look quite lean (famished wouldn’t be appropriate😂😂). I will always be grateful to God for giving me such a wonderful person as my sister. She is an exact replica of Babai when it comes to emotions. The way she cares for people and bonds, so invested in them wholeheartedly I have never seen anyone else in this practical world. I have a great camaraderie with her and my brother. Summer vacations, late night talks under star lit sky, silly fights, sharing clothes, dancing till we dropped, watching movies in the front row of cinema hall, keeping secrets, breaking down, building up each other – I can literally go on. Technically we were in nuclear families but literally we grew up together (with and on each other). Thank you is a small word for the support you have been to me.

I may not have vast materialistic fortunes but very fortunate to have you in my life, it’s a blessing to have such a loving family, wonderful strong people guiding me at every step, shaping up the right ideology to look at life in a positive perspective, heaping up treasure of memories. Though I don’t like to repeat myself but can’t help today – can never thank you all enough.

Yours lovingly,

Daughter .

IT DOESN’T TAKE TOO MUCH TO CHEER UP!

Past 7 months of pandemic have been really rough for all. We have been surrounded by gloom, demise news and too much work load. How can one cheer up in such cases?


Well, I couldn’t. I thought I was braving the situation well but a point came when I realised that I am not able to handle this anymore. The monotonous routine of too much of household chores, ever piling and very demanding office work and a hyperactive toddler was all getting more and more difficult to handle with every passing day. I knew I had reached the limit when I couldn’t control my anger and tears at petty things. I was reaching the breaking point.


I knew I had to do the damage control because If I remained upset for a long time, my family was going to suffer, my child would see my wrath, my husband would not feel loved and my MIL would miss my usual chit chatting self. Yes, if you are unhappy, your ENTIRE family suffers. The food you cook doesn’t come out tasty, how much ever you dress up, you don’t feel beautiful and how much ever you sleep, you always feel tired.


So what did I do? I packed my bags and headed straight to my mom’s place. 15 days spent with my mom made a big difference. Aarnav got to meet his other set of grand parents, I got to meet my parents after a very long time! The change in air, the change in environment and the change in routine made wonders.
My mom dished out one of my favourites every single day! My dad got so many new toys for Aarnav. Late night talks with mom which we had long forgotten about ever since I got married, no household chores – I was only a helping hand to the mom. It felt nice to be able to lean on my mom for support because I was tired being a support to my family all these months. Being devoid of any responsibilities and expectations for good15 days helped me cheer up. It transformed me to a happy human being that usually I am. 


It took nothing out of the box to cheer up myself. Good company, lessened responsibilities and good food did the trick. And if you see, these three things will do the trick most of the time. 
Lot of times, we expect a lot – from others as well as from ourself! We must learn to cut the slack. Take time off. Relish good food. Binge eat sometimes. Give in to your cravings once in a while. Hug your kids tight. Cuddle them while sleeping. Steal a kiss from your spouse, watch the sunset together. Chat over a coffee. These are the most sasta and tikau (tried and tested) remedies for a cheerful mood.


I understand, it may not always be possible. We cant fit every single thing in our routine and if you make a routine out of this, it won’t be fun any more! Just know that when you want to do this, go ahead and do it.
Be happy and cheerful!

SPREAD A SMILE, IT’S WORTH IT!

“Are you ok?”

“Do you need help?”

“Shall I come over…”

All these soothing words do make a difference, especially now in this pandemic time, when all are shut in those concrete walls which they call home. Even being at home, most of the people are experiencing their wildest depressions which one cannot imagine and none to help even when they are surrounded by people they love.

The worst situation right?

Indeed it is. Past few months, I have seen the best people around me suffer due to the changes we are experiencing and I know how hard they might find to cope with the same. Couples find it hard to stay together, even when there were times in the past when they craved for time together. Kids finding it hard to stay at home, when there was a time when they just want to play all the time rather than go to school. Everyone is taking a toll over their patience.

And this was when I began to start talking to people in need. I kept my arms and ears open to listen to their problems. All they need was a listener or someone upon whom they could vent out their frustration. I could relate to the pain, be their support in whatsoever manner they needed.

Our world is short of listeners and yes now they are in great demand. I too decided to open a page in my blog to help people stay anonymous and share their problem. I always believed in ‘being there’ for others because I knew the pain of being left alone.

Finding ways to cheer ourselves up, is quite hard, but once we find the way out, we can sprint across the problems without much hassle.

It was one winter night, and as usual, I was onto my bed after all daylong hassles of household work and taking care of my kids. I was completely exhausted and tired, but then when I begin to shut my eyes, sleep became my enemy. In no way I was able to catch my sleep, it was almost half-past 12 and I knew I have just a few more hours to sleep. I tried and tried, but again other than tossing around my tired body, which was hardly listening to me I could not sleep a bit.

Wide awake I lay there when my mind was cluttered with all the negative aspects. I felt useless, began to tremble and cry as all the negative thoughts were gushing into me like a tsunami and destroying me from within. I cried, but my conscious mind “shushed me” not to awake anyone.

The sense of being useless was accompanied by many thoughts, which were storming into me and I was losing my grip. But then other my tiny lil girls, i had non beside me to tell my tale. I sat up, with lots of courage, skimmed through my phone to find some help and finally when it all got wasted, I lay down again beside my daughter.

Somehow, amidst her sleep, she just wrapped her tiny fingers upon mine and hugged me saying” I love you, mamma.”

Finally, my tears stopped, for a second, I felt like i am being pulled back. In the shadows of the night, I watched her tiny little face and saw her smiling. She was asleep, but still, she was smiling. I knew and felt how much I mean to her. She was my world and there she stood there upholding my world and balancing it with her smile.

I hugged her and kissed her so much, without waking her up and realized i was being silly to cry all along.

With her one small thought, my thinking composition changed and I began to think all the good things i could and gradually I slept off amidst all my contemplations.

But that day I realised how important is to be strong and think positive. Negative thoughts await for a turmoil and they bust in like an uninvited guest to our home and destroy our inner peace.

Spread a smile.” whenever you can knowingly or unknowingly. It does make an impact.

ANSWER IN A QUESTION

Hi friends, before talking about “Factual Feedback”, I want to share you two beautiful stories from my life.

In June’12 when I was working for my earlier organization, one day I was very much frustrated by the unprofessional behavior of couple of my co-workers. With that frustration when I came back to home my Papa immediately read my face & asked me, “Son, you look very much frustrated. Is there anything wrong?” I explained him the whole story & said, Papa I am going to write my resignation letter tomorrow morning. I was expecting that my father would support my decision. But Papa left me with a question rather than advising me something. His question was, What do you think, you deserve this job or it’s a grace of God for you? At that very moment the only word  that struck my mind is – WHAT!!!

I will never forget that night, while lying on bed in my dark bedroom with my Papa’s question in my mind, I flashed back the blessed days in 2010 – how God helped me when I was interviewed & appointed to accomplish a major decision making role in that organization when I was simply an university pass-out without having any sort of prior experience. As I wake-up, my morning Prayer was, God, I am sorry for the mistake I was about to commit. I will continue, till you show me my next step. And thank you for my father’s feedback.

This situation taught me a very nice lesson about feedbacks which was, “Your feedback will not always come as an answer as you think. It might be another question which will show you, the mistake you have done or is about to do.”

On 29th Aug’14 I had organized a one-day youth seminar called “GenNEXT” with the help of few of my professional friends. And I was expecting some applauding feedbacks which we usually expect after every meeting. But just after 2 sessions of that seminar, one of my then new friends “Sourav Mohanty” came to me and broked a big question on me – Avinash, GenNEXT is good but what NEXT? And that question has truly taken away my several nights sleep.

But I truly thank God & my friend Sourav for this question, which gave new dimension to my professional carrier & now has become my life’s meaning. This incident taught me one more lesson regarding feedback – “feedback’s are not just appraisals; they are radars to our preferred destinations.”

Feedback truly feeds us back again. We usually pursue feedback as an appraisal of our work wrapped up in the form of answer to our unspoken question – “How well have I done?” But that’s not the reality always. Sometimes feedback might come as a correction or a new dimension like both of my experiences. Feedback is always affirmative in terms. It seems negative to us only when we consider them as “criticism”. Others feedback can influence us/direct us/corrects us, the way we consider them. In one line – “FEEDBACK CAN FEED YOU BACK THE WAY YOU CONSIDER THEM!”

Stay Tuned!

WHY FAMILY MATTERS?

We had a great week discussing on Family Matters. It is a vast subject. I know 5 or 6 days are not enough to discuss everything pertaining to Family Matters but we had some real good discussions on that topic.

I keep asking my readers to send me write ups for snippets and for mega articles. So this week I received an extra piece as a snippet but the writer, Ms. Indira Patra has pointed out some core aspects of family which I thought to highlight them as this week’s “Final Words.”

She wrote as follows: Continue reading “WHY FAMILY MATTERS?”

HOW CLOSE ARE WE TO OUR PARENTS?

Our parents are the ones who give birth to us. Both Mom and Dad play a very significant role in bringing us into this world. Our Mom takes care of us for 9 months and 10 days safely in her womb, and feeds and nourishes us with her blood. Our parents do every possible things to help us step into this world safely with no complications and obstacles on our path. When we step into this world, our Mom always keeps us under her special care just as a hen takes care of her chicks from the enemies by keeping them safely under her wings. And our Dad works harder than usual in order to fulfill all our requirements. When we grow up, they become more possessive about us not because they don’t trust us, but because they love us so dearly. We have been gifted with parents in our life so that we can be helped to follow the right track and also to become closer to God.

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Parents are the first friends in our life who are always by our side. They understand our every necessity and provide them to us before we can even approach them and speak out a word. We may have many friends in our life, who sometimes tempt and persuade us in doing things against our own conscience and even trap us in danger, but our parents are such friends who never allow us to fall into the bad company of friends. The simple reason is because they love and care for us more than they do the same to themselves. When we stumble and get imbalanced, our parents are the ones who come first and ask, “Are you alright?” When we fall into trouble, they pat our shoulder and encourage us saying, “Don’t worry I’m with you. You can make it out!” I remember whenever I get Hysteria attacks, my parents come forward first  and place my head on their lap, hold my hand, pat my head with so much love and say, “Don’t worry we are with you. You will be alright!” On hearing this I feel relaxed from all my pains. This is because I’m closely connected with my parents. They always hold my hand and encourage me to step forward in life positively.

Today, are we really in close touch with our parents? It all depends on what view we hold for our parents, what importance and place we give them in our lives. Our parents deserve the maximum credit for our success. No matter  how much effort we apply to be successful in our lives, we would have failed if our parents were not there to encourage and support us physically, financially, mentally and most importantly, spiritually. So no matter what, we should respect, love and care for our parents by maintaining a very good relationship and  keeping them closer to ourselves than anyone else in our lives. To conclude, parents are the ones who mould and give a shape to our future.

— Arpita Dutta