MY SEARCH FOR A DIFFERENT SUCCESS

Few days back I was gliding through my LinkedIn page. One of my distant relative updated her status “promoted to the position of Director”. I was happy to see her succeed but in another moment started self introspection “what I am doing?” , ” Where I am standing?”, “Will I ever succeed in my life?”. Basically I was anxious about “will I ever be able to EARN?” A question that I am struggling for a longtime now.

But is it just about money? Answer is an absolute NO. It’s about my craving for Identity. My thoughts at that (on many occasions) point were convoluted. I want to earn, I want name for myself, I want financial independence. I kept applying for jobs. Many applications were rejected outright, few made for interview round but success still eluded me. It was not just the applications that were being rejected but a piece of self was slowly dying inside. One of the reasons that prompted me to start blogging was to put forth my opinions and earn (I am not ashamed of admitting that). Five years now and the kind of success I supposed it would fetch me is still a distant dream. Who and what shall be blamed? No one except me and nothing except my lack of regularity, missing niche (my work doesn’t stick to one genre).

Am I a complete failure? Last week my friend’s husband came to dinner (we are careful enough to follow the social bubble 😁). Out of nowhere he asked me “how’s your blogging going, seems you have a good fan following”. I dismissed him with a smile “No, nothing like that” . To this he told me that one of his friends sent him a link of one my blog (never before he read any of my articles) and praised it too. His friend liked the subtle manner of explanation, relatability of issues/situations mentioned. And as a matter of fact I never met or spoke to the “friend”. There was a certain sense of euphoria for me at that moment. That night I decided to once again go through the comments on my articles. That was the moment of realization for me. My success is not in the additional perks of followers, hits on site and money but how well I can connect to the people. How well I can communicate, how I can impact, how can I be a part of lives of those reading my words in some or the other way, how well I can motivate myself to reflect positivity in my work, Am I making any difference, Am I putting forth a good message relevant to people, Am I honest while voicing my opinions, Am I trending the path I talk about or refer to – My parameters of Success. Falling short of even one criteria renders me unsuccessful in my judgement! And I believe that’s the worse.

What inference my failures have given me? I was looking for “success” in the form of an offer letter, a designation and a certain amount credited every month to my bank account. What if I get them at this moment, would it put an end to my quest and thirst for “success”?. I might have been aiming for a higher pedestal everytime. Nothing wrong in that, absolutely. But what is wrong is getting bogged down if your plans and results aren’t in linear correlation. Wrong is deeming yourself to be worthless. Wrong is inability to draw inspiration from people and incidents showing us a different way and zest to live life as we are too consumed by a bubble we have created in our minds. In short wrong is inability to respect life and the designs almighty have for us ( I may be professionally unemployed because someone else might be more competent, qualified and in need – it’s that simple). And identity of a person is about the perception and ideologies one owns, can never be defined by a designation or job role. And people knowing me by my work irrespective of the level of fame (non existent 😁) I might have acquired is purely my Success!

I Have Decided My Path: I will keep writing, I have stories to tell, I have messages to deliver. In that process if I earn materialistic success I will receive that. In case not I have my own yardstick to measure success – Have I made you think? If yes I am SUCCESSFUL!!

SPREAD A SMILE, IT’S WORTH IT!

“Are you ok?”

“Do you need help?”

“Shall I come over…”

All these soothing words do make a difference, especially now in this pandemic time, when all are shut in those concrete walls which they call home. Even being at home, most of the people are experiencing their wildest depressions which one cannot imagine and none to help even when they are surrounded by people they love.

The worst situation right?

Indeed it is. Past few months, I have seen the best people around me suffer due to the changes we are experiencing and I know how hard they might find to cope with the same. Couples find it hard to stay together, even when there were times in the past when they craved for time together. Kids finding it hard to stay at home, when there was a time when they just want to play all the time rather than go to school. Everyone is taking a toll over their patience.

And this was when I began to start talking to people in need. I kept my arms and ears open to listen to their problems. All they need was a listener or someone upon whom they could vent out their frustration. I could relate to the pain, be their support in whatsoever manner they needed.

Our world is short of listeners and yes now they are in great demand. I too decided to open a page in my blog to help people stay anonymous and share their problem. I always believed in ‘being there’ for others because I knew the pain of being left alone.

Finding ways to cheer ourselves up, is quite hard, but once we find the way out, we can sprint across the problems without much hassle.

It was one winter night, and as usual, I was onto my bed after all daylong hassles of household work and taking care of my kids. I was completely exhausted and tired, but then when I begin to shut my eyes, sleep became my enemy. In no way I was able to catch my sleep, it was almost half-past 12 and I knew I have just a few more hours to sleep. I tried and tried, but again other than tossing around my tired body, which was hardly listening to me I could not sleep a bit.

Wide awake I lay there when my mind was cluttered with all the negative aspects. I felt useless, began to tremble and cry as all the negative thoughts were gushing into me like a tsunami and destroying me from within. I cried, but my conscious mind “shushed me” not to awake anyone.

The sense of being useless was accompanied by many thoughts, which were storming into me and I was losing my grip. But then other my tiny lil girls, i had non beside me to tell my tale. I sat up, with lots of courage, skimmed through my phone to find some help and finally when it all got wasted, I lay down again beside my daughter.

Somehow, amidst her sleep, she just wrapped her tiny fingers upon mine and hugged me saying” I love you, mamma.”

Finally, my tears stopped, for a second, I felt like i am being pulled back. In the shadows of the night, I watched her tiny little face and saw her smiling. She was asleep, but still, she was smiling. I knew and felt how much I mean to her. She was my world and there she stood there upholding my world and balancing it with her smile.

I hugged her and kissed her so much, without waking her up and realized i was being silly to cry all along.

With her one small thought, my thinking composition changed and I began to think all the good things i could and gradually I slept off amidst all my contemplations.

But that day I realised how important is to be strong and think positive. Negative thoughts await for a turmoil and they bust in like an uninvited guest to our home and destroy our inner peace.

Spread a smile.” whenever you can knowingly or unknowingly. It does make an impact.

MASTER YOUR TIME

I have always found it ironic that so many people say they would do anything for a little more time every day and yet they squander the time they already have. Time is life’s great leveler. We all have the same allotment of twenty-four hours a day. What separates the people who create the great lives from the also-rans is how they use these hours.

Most of us live as if we have an infinite amount of time to do all the things we know we must do to live a full and rewarding life. And so we procrastinate and put the achievement of our dreams on hold while we tend to those daily emergencies that fill up our days. This is a certain recipe for a life of regret. As novelist Paul Bowles once wrote:
…..because we don’t know (when we will die), we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can’t even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless.

Commit yourself to managing your time more effectively to avoid negativity to creep in. Develop a keen sense of awareness about how important your time really is. Don’t let people waste this most precious of commodities and invest it only in those activities that truly count.

—- Dr. Anupam

Brain rewards you for thinking NEGATIVELY?

Did you know your brain rewards you for thinking NEGATIVELY?

In a 1998 paper psychologist John Cacioppo and team concluded, “Negative information tends to influence evaluations more strongly than comparably extreme positive information.”

In the pre-historic age humans were faced with fatal dangers such as predators and natural disasters day in and day out. Natural selection preferred those who could anticipate and avoid danger better than others. Thus our brain developed its “negative bias” – essentially an enhanced ability to register and learn from negative events and anticipate negative outcomes.

So if you want to look at the world through a realistic lens, you need to put in conscious effort.

Notice the positive.
Remember the positive.
Emphasize the positive.

-Sulagna

Positive Thoughts

Positive Thoughts lead to Positive Words
Positive Words lead to Positive Actions
Positive Actions, in time, lead to Positive Habits
And, Positive Habits are the hallmark of a Strong Character!

— Rajnandini

Staying Positive

Sadness, fear, anxiety, guilt, jealousy, hatred are all examples of negative emotions. These are the devils existing in the world. They take away our health, wealth and our relationships. Why do they exist? What is the purpose of negative emotions?

None of us need to be told that constant stress is the major factor of all the diseases. In spite of knowing this, why do we hold on to our negative emotions? Why can’t we get rid of jealousy or hatred? Why do we fear for no reason?

Staying positive indeed becomes a challenge during tough times and other times it just comes naturally. It is nothing but a state of mind and the state of our mind should only be in our control not in control of our circumstances.

Watch this space to know more on this topic.
Be positive, be blessed.

— Prabhjot

Positivity: A Struggle

I usually stay positive and cheerful at all the time. But I always wonder how I can be positive when my anger churned up to the highest level. I realise how negative my behaviour turned to after I calm down from being upset and look back to see the devastation I have already made. I regret of my wrong doings, which is of no use thinking at that point of time.

It is really a struggle to practice being positive in every situation. I strive for it daily.

Do you suffer to stay positive at times in some given situation?

Keep pondering till we meet next time.

Stay blessed!