My favourite read

Of all the beautiful reads I had, the one that I could not get over was Rachael Lippincott’s five feet apart. I remember waking up for hours in the middle of the night, checking up my tab and having the long read. Intriguing, emotional, heart-wrenching and absorbing is how I define my favourite book.

Picture Credit : Google

The story of the Stella Grant and Will Newman still makes my heart flutter. It dealt with Abby’s and Poe’s death, how the two affected Stella’s life and Will left her amidst this giving her a new life. The drug trial involved with cystic fibrosis patients having B.Cepacica was a whole new concept that gives us a sense of hope and the author wishes it too that one day such a treatment be found.

Having five feet apart in my collection is what that made me ponder about the life, the death, the love and the perseverance. It’s written with a heart that believes true love exists even in the most unrealistic circumstances. Don’t know where to start but this book has so much to say and what not to teach. A careful read of this book taught me that the death is inevitable to all and what we are supposed to do is to live in the moment and make the best use of it. When on medications what one must not lack is perseverance and the faith. It proves that love is the ultimate expression of the will to live. And children’s love is what binds the parents together when the terminal illness evokes in. Where there’s a love, there’s a sacrifice. It values the human touch as the premium ease of all sufferings. The protagonist of the story, Stella shows that girls know coding too. It shows how the transgenders share the equal rights and how the socialisation and technology has made living easy, causing awareness and helping people win the battle over a terminal illness such as that of cystic fibrosis. And above all, what this book had for me is one more lesson teaching never to take your health for granted.

More Pain, More Happiness you are Rewarded with

It is said that ” the height of emotional pain we endure, measures the amount of happiness we gain”.
What do you say?

Happiness is not just a stand-alone emotion, it is a comparative emotion.

If you notice, some people are overjoyed with even little things in life, because they have suffered the most inwardly and everything else they receive in life seems to give them the strong gush of happiness.
It is told that, if we do not experience darkness, we do not value the light we receive. It is hard to measure in terms of how much joy it gives, but if you feel your heart is uncontrollably happy and thumping, then you have the joy of your life.

Being a mother, i felt this joy, when I look into my daughter’s eyes, the immeasurable joy i find being with them, cannot be even expressed in words.
Some days, i get too tired and exhausted that i feel like the world is hanging upon me, especially when I was going through the postpartum depression state, it is hard but i guess most moms can relate to it. In such a state, the pain induced into our mind, due to insecurity, the helplessness, the chaos in life, the acceptance of becoming a mom, the madness of mad hours and much more is like a crazy drive, but again, in the end, when i hit the bed, be it like 12 in the night, or maybe like early morning 2, i just fall into the bed, and then comes, the soft little fingers looking for me, the moment it touches my skin… it is like magic.
I feel like being lighter and floating in some cloud. As if i am transported into another world and every burden seems to fly away from me. It is like a cradle holding me up in the world, protecting me from the thorns of expectations, troubles and much more. And all i need that tiny hands to hover upon me and put me to sleep.

This joy is immeasurable !!!
The joy of motherhood.
All pain disappears and all I need is my angels near me.

As i said, you cannot enjoy the joy every moment gives you, without enduring the pain.
People build walls around them to protect themselves from the emotional pain, but they forget, the higher they build the wall, the lesser happy they are gonna be. When we build walls, we disconnect from the world, which is also bound to give you happiness too.

Pain does serve several purposes in life.
It signals us to pure joy and happiness that is like a rainbow after the rain. But the more we run away from everything in life, we are gonna miss what is in store for us.
You can’t reach a destiny when all you want to do is stay indoors.

The intensity of the struggle determines the happiness you will receive.

Breaking away my cocoon and flying high

We all are so accustomed to living in our little world, scared to step out of our comfort zones and explore. I know its all not just me, but most of us are sailing in the same boat. I remember myself as an ambitious and adventurous soul ever since i got into school and colleges. I always enjoyed fun-filled and thrilling activities.
But ever since, I left my job in Infosys and got into the parenting walkway, I could say, I got bitten by it. I lost all my enthusiasm to step out of my cocoon, i began to build up a small home within my four walls. It was a hard step initially but again, once I got used to it, I fell in love with it. I hated the world outside, as they begin to judge me.
I forgot how did I ever looked like in the mirror, forgot to dress up and get ready for my hustles as I used to do. I started to focus only on my children who were my heart and brain and whatnot. I had no world outside them, but yes i had a virtual world connected, which connected me to the world outside like a tiny window opening for me, which I could shut anytime.
Still stepping out for me, was a brave step.
It was then, one day, my family decided to send me for a detox holiday. And for me thinking about being away from my kids, was something huge, like keeping a huge rock upon my heart which aches me too much. At first, the reflux in me prompted me to say that i wasn’t going for it at all. But then again, after a friend of mine and my brother who is my greatest companion talked me out and soothe me with words of assurances, I did agree to go.
And yes, it was indeed it was a great step for me as well as my children. It was indeed the first step for me as a mom to set myself free from the burden of weighing myself with loads of duties.
It was just the beginning for me after a very long time.
But it was indeed not the last.
Ever since i regained a pinch of confidence, it helped me get back to my career which I was never hoping soon to happen. But yes, as I write these words, I am truly delighted that my first step was never the last step but a great beginning to much more first times in my life ever since I became a mom.

THE CANDLES THAT BUILT MY IDENTITY AS A WRITER

Never did I imagine myself as a writer before. I discovered my writing abilities when I was away from home country, in Shanghai, when I had plenty of leisure time. After hubby left for office, I would finish my chores quite early and my son Arjun, who was 1 at that time, didn’t bother me much as he would mostly sleep and play on his own. I started as a hobby for one of the websites, participated in a few contests and won too. However, once I returned and resumed my job, I stopped writing as I got too busy with my work and pre-schooler Arjun. Soon after, I gave birth to my second son in March 2016.

Pregnancy, childbirth and handling two kids really wears you off physically as well as mentally. Though living in a joint family proved to be a boon for me at time, I felt lost, maybe due to postpartum.

If there’s any good news or any problem I am going through, or any other thing that bothers me, I have a group for me to vent out my emotions. The group, which is my biggest support system, consists of my cousin sisters Kuljeet & Prabhjot. As I was struggling to be normal, Prabhjot prompted me to write as she said I needed my mind to be occupied. She introduced me to Chiradeep. I was hesitant initially, exchanging messages with the leader, but this guy was so understanding and we connected really well. He trusted my writing skills and I was soon part of the Candles Online. It was in November 2016 when my first article When In Doubt Just Google was published. The story relays helped me to gel well with my fellow writers. Surprisingly I haven’t ever met Chiradeep and other writers on Candles Online (excluding my sisters, of course)! Yet, we all chat like age old friends, which is the best part.

The article gave me recognition as a writer and soon I was motivated to write more. The views and comments really inspire me to write further. Nothing is better than the connect the viewers make on reading my articles. And that’s my biggest reward I believe! Candles Online gave me the identity as a ‘writer’ and I can’t thank Prabhjot & Chiradeep enough for doing that.

Thank you Candles!

WAIT FOR THE BIGGER PICTURE TO DISPLAY AND CONTINUE WITH CHANGES IN LIFE

The morning dew shines on the leaf,
The night changes to dawn
As the rays of the sun break
From the thick clouds.

With each moment that passes,
The seasons change bit by bit,
Spring to autumn,
Green to golden.

And  I have seen change.

This is what a young 18 years old girl Shivangi writes in her blog which I quoted above. It confirms, “CHANGE IS INEVITABLE.”

My co – writers have explained their heart out throughout the week talking about “Changes in Life.” And as I was reading through all of that once again I found SIX important aspects which we all should know and understand for our life.

1. Change is Necessary:

Prabhjot:  When I think of “Change”, a very strong message comes to my mind – “Change is vital to survive”.

Change has always differentiated between who is the best and qualified and who are the losers. Change has always brought something good in a person when change is taken positively. We loose interest in life if change doesn’t happen. Change brings betterment, as we humans are not perfect. We just try to run towards perfection till our death. So change in us and around us is necessary and vital for survival.

2. Realistic Approach to Change:

Rajnandini:  A realistic approach towards meeting various life changes involves an open mind, a flexible thought process, an adaptable disposition and an unflinching faith in God.

Open mind, flexibility, adaptability and trust in God are perfect approaches to the changes , even the most expected ones. Without these realistic approaches we might struggle to stay content, stay happy, stay fruitful and probably to survive in life till the end.

3. Adapting to Change is Wise:

Aastha:  Even when life is pushing in roller coaster of changes, all we can do is to learn to adapt to them. Resisting to a change is the worst we can do for ourselves, tomorrow or the day after, the change may say a ‘hello’ to us again.

I remember in school days we read about adaptation. And that was one of my favorite science lesson. Those living beings who haven’t adapted to the environment are not seen these days. So adapting to change is super essential to stay in the race, of course not in a negative sense.

4. Change Makes us Responsible:

Kalpana: An incredible change that marriage and parenthood brings is that they make us responsible. They make us think beyond “Me”.  They make us learn the importance of patience and compromises.  More importantly it galvanize the concept of “sharing is caring” in our lives.

When the changes take place we do a reality check and go through a process of self-examination or analyse the situation which ultimately makes us responsible, thinking and active.

5. Love Helps During Changes in Life: 

Ruth: Love holds together and sustains our life during a transition period or any kind of changes in our lives.

Love is constant and absolute. And it has that potential to do miracles and wonders. During difficult times,  with love of family members and friends things have turned from negative to positive miraculously.

6. Understanding the Direction of Change: 

Avinash: But in the midst of this game of change, what we human being must do? We must analyze the changes in our life logically. We can know that by putting the changes of our life into the Cubical of ‘3 W;’ Change in Which WAY, What Purpose and When.

Unless we understand how the change is taking place, in what direction my life will go and what can be the implications of the change then we will be doomed.

Concluding my ‘Final Note,’ I can say by quoting somebody, “the only two things that are for certain in this life are change and death. And the way we choose to view these two certainties dictate the way we choose to live our lives. How we handle change shapes our future. Moments of change-both minute and colossal are all for a reason. In the grand scheme of things, every piece of this elaborate puzzle fits together for an ultimate purpose. A bigger picture.

So friends, never be discouraged and disappointed when changes of life hit hard but take heart and fight a good fight of life, trusting in God completely. When the right time will come you can see the bigger picture which will take away all your pains, suffering and tears  within seconds. So keep running the race of your life jumping over the hurdles of changes.

Stay Blessed!!!

Chiradeep

LIFE IN THE GAME OF CHANGE

The Right Honorable British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill (1864 – 1975) said,

“There never will be enough for everything while the world goes on. The more that is given the more there will be needed.

That’s indeed true if we look from the context of “Changes in Life”. In our life and as well every living thing under the sun changes every moment. Change in life is inevitable and the most indispensable part which need not be disregarded. Without changes in life we cannot survive.

Changes in life do not happen once. Changes took place from the time when we were in the form of liquid in our mother’s womb and the game of change in life remains unplugged till our earthly body decays. But in the midst of this game of change, what we human being must do? We must analyze the changes in our life logically.

Our GenNEXT mind says, “I’m DIFFERENT”! We strive to prove that by bringing changes into our life style. And which is paradoxical. Now, the big question is how to know that – “Is my change right!”? We can know that by putting the changes of our life into the Cubical of ‘3 W’.

Changing in Which WAY? : “There is nothing wrong in change, if it is in the right direction” – Winston Churchill. Change is obvious and should be, but we have to determine first that, in which WAY am I changing? Am I changing from good to better and better to best or am I changing from good to bad and bad to worst. If we take smoking as an example, we can see that from our childhood we are not smokers. We became smokers as we follow the life of our smoker friends. We knew that “smoking is injurious to health” still for the sake of fashion we do that and as the days goes on our fashion turns to our addiction.

Changing for What PURPOSE? : When I was doing inters that time a very beautiful Bollywood movie released “Tere Naam”. In that movie Super Star “Salman Khan” had two special haircuts, which is appreciated for the sake of the role he was playing in that movie. But soon after that movie most of the guys started keeping such haircuts which went against of their personality. Even most of such crazy guys were considered as unsocial by the elderly group. Bible says, ‘Do not follow the worldly patterns rather renew your mind and do which is good, pleasant and acceptable in the eyes of God’. Because we all are called by God for a definite purpose which needs to be fulfilled by us. We must measure each of our changes with scale of life’s Purpose.

Changing but When? :  Changes in life bring meaning and fulfill the purpose of our life. That’s the truth but this truth must be followed by the question “WHEN?”, because “there is a time for everything”. The great MJ achieved every conceivable things through-out his life. Even he had his own world called “Neverland Ranch”, but there was none of his beloved by his death bed and there was no medicine for him to heal from the alcohol stupefaction. Man doesn’t know about his Birth and about his Death. Birth has already happened with us and death is the absolute near future. Let’s change ourselves from all the unacceptable and ungodly stuffs prevailing in our life. The day is soon when no human being can do anything.

Let’s not forget the Cubical of 3 W, in the game of Changes in Life!!!

Stay tuned!

Avinash

CHANGES IN LIFE – THY NAME IS MARRIAGE AND PARENTHOOD

Hi Everyone,

Change is permanent.

Got a new i-phone, proudly showcasing it but got to know that your friend got an upgraded model at revised (read lower) price, what a change? Everyday new, newer inventions and discoveries strive to change our lives.  So, change is here to stay and it’s everywhere.  Weather changes everyday, season changes quarterly, water in river changes every year, government changes every five years (if we are fortunate enough and no mid-term polls) and numerous examples to establish the fact “change is permanent”.

When change is mentioned in reference to human life one incidence that effects life of every soul irrespective of their social standing, caste or creed is the sacred institution of marriage and following that is parenthood.

Marriage changes life for both the parties involved.  As soon as a girl and boy gets married they have big changes awaiting them.  Now the words “my family” embraces a new world altogether.

For a girl the change starts with the surname.  Soon everything associated with her parental house is a past including her habits and hobbies.  She might not have entered kitchen till the D-Day of her life but soon after marriage she is supposed to don the cap of cook and excel in the culinary art.  As soon as a girl enters her new home she is entrusted with every responsibility doesn’t matter how trivial it is.  That’s a “BIG” change for her.

When talking about the changes after marriage it will be unfair if we don’t talk from boy’s point of view.  Now every information turns into seeking permission.  Before marriage “mom I am going to see my friends.”  After marriage ” can I go to see my friends?” This is just one example. Many such instances can be given.

And what follows marriage just sets the life on a roller coaster ride, Parenthood!  Yes it does.  When a couple becomes parents they are hosting a whole gamut of changes in their lives.  Suddenly they are night watchman (woman), timetables keeping an account of feeding times, can no longer stay relaxed on weekends and binge on leftovers of day before, have to perform the role of clone as well.  In short you have to be whatever you are not before.

Till now whatever we have discussed they are more or less on lighter note.  An incredible change that marriage and parenthood brings is that they make us responsible. They make us think beyond “Me”.  They make us learn the importance of patience and compromises.  More importantly it galvanize the concept of “sharing is caring” in our lives.

It’s a difficult but a good change nevertheless (more often).

Raise your hands who agree with me, please🙋