Breaking away my cocoon and flying high

We all are so accustomed to living in our little world, scared to step out of our comfort zones and explore. I know its all not just me, but most of us are sailing in the same boat. I remember myself as an ambitious and adventurous soul ever since i got into school and colleges. I always enjoyed fun-filled and thrilling activities.
But ever since, I left my job in Infosys and got into the parenting walkway, I could say, I got bitten by it. I lost all my enthusiasm to step out of my cocoon, i began to build up a small home within my four walls. It was a hard step initially but again, once I got used to it, I fell in love with it. I hated the world outside, as they begin to judge me.
I forgot how did I ever looked like in the mirror, forgot to dress up and get ready for my hustles as I used to do. I started to focus only on my children who were my heart and brain and whatnot. I had no world outside them, but yes i had a virtual world connected, which connected me to the world outside like a tiny window opening for me, which I could shut anytime.
Still stepping out for me, was a brave step.
It was then, one day, my family decided to send me for a detox holiday. And for me thinking about being away from my kids, was something huge, like keeping a huge rock upon my heart which aches me too much. At first, the reflux in me prompted me to say that i wasn’t going for it at all. But then again, after a friend of mine and my brother who is my greatest companion talked me out and soothe me with words of assurances, I did agree to go.
And yes, it was indeed it was a great step for me as well as my children. It was indeed the first step for me as a mom to set myself free from the burden of weighing myself with loads of duties.
It was just the beginning for me after a very long time.
But it was indeed not the last.
Ever since i regained a pinch of confidence, it helped me get back to my career which I was never hoping soon to happen. But yes, as I write these words, I am truly delighted that my first step was never the last step but a great beginning to much more first times in my life ever since I became a mom.

THE CANDLES THAT BUILT MY IDENTITY AS A WRITER

Never did I imagine myself as a writer before. I discovered my writing abilities when I was away from home country, in Shanghai, when I had plenty of leisure time. After hubby left for office, I would finish my chores quite early and my son Arjun, who was 1 at that time, didn’t bother me much as he would mostly sleep and play on his own. I started as a hobby for one of the websites, participated in a few contests and won too. However, once I returned and resumed my job, I stopped writing as I got too busy with my work and pre-schooler Arjun. Soon after, I gave birth to my second son in March 2016.

Pregnancy, childbirth and handling two kids really wears you off physically as well as mentally. Though living in a joint family proved to be a boon for me at time, I felt lost, maybe due to postpartum.

If there’s any good news or any problem I am going through, or any other thing that bothers me, I have a group for me to vent out my emotions. The group, which is my biggest support system, consists of my cousin sisters Kuljeet & Prabhjot. As I was struggling to be normal, Prabhjot prompted me to write as she said I needed my mind to be occupied. She introduced me to Chiradeep. I was hesitant initially, exchanging messages with the leader, but this guy was so understanding and we connected really well. He trusted my writing skills and I was soon part of the Candles Online. It was in November 2016 when my first article When In Doubt Just Google was published. The story relays helped me to gel well with my fellow writers. Surprisingly I haven’t ever met Chiradeep and other writers on Candles Online (excluding my sisters, of course)! Yet, we all chat like age old friends, which is the best part.

The article gave me recognition as a writer and soon I was motivated to write more. The views and comments really inspire me to write further. Nothing is better than the connect the viewers make on reading my articles. And that’s my biggest reward I believe! Candles Online gave me the identity as a ‘writer’ and I can’t thank Prabhjot & Chiradeep enough for doing that.

Thank you Candles!

WAIT FOR THE BIGGER PICTURE TO DISPLAY AND CONTINUE WITH CHANGES IN LIFE

The morning dew shines on the leaf,
The night changes to dawn
As the rays of the sun break
From the thick clouds.

With each moment that passes,
The seasons change bit by bit,
Spring to autumn,
Green to golden.

And  I have seen change.

This is what a young 18 years old girl Shivangi writes in her blog which I quoted above. It confirms, “CHANGE IS INEVITABLE.”

My co – writers have explained their heart out throughout the week talking about “Changes in Life.” And as I was reading through all of that once again I found SIX important aspects which we all should know and understand for our life.

1. Change is Necessary:

Prabhjot:  When I think of “Change”, a very strong message comes to my mind – “Change is vital to survive”.

Change has always differentiated between who is the best and qualified and who are the losers. Change has always brought something good in a person when change is taken positively. We loose interest in life if change doesn’t happen. Change brings betterment, as we humans are not perfect. We just try to run towards perfection till our death. So change in us and around us is necessary and vital for survival.

2. Realistic Approach to Change:

Rajnandini:  A realistic approach towards meeting various life changes involves an open mind, a flexible thought process, an adaptable disposition and an unflinching faith in God.

Open mind, flexibility, adaptability and trust in God are perfect approaches to the changes , even the most expected ones. Without these realistic approaches we might struggle to stay content, stay happy, stay fruitful and probably to survive in life till the end.

3. Adapting to Change is Wise:

Aastha:  Even when life is pushing in roller coaster of changes, all we can do is to learn to adapt to them. Resisting to a change is the worst we can do for ourselves, tomorrow or the day after, the change may say a ‘hello’ to us again.

I remember in school days we read about adaptation. And that was one of my favorite science lesson. Those living beings who haven’t adapted to the environment are not seen these days. So adapting to change is super essential to stay in the race, of course not in a negative sense.

4. Change Makes us Responsible:

Kalpana: An incredible change that marriage and parenthood brings is that they make us responsible. They make us think beyond “Me”.  They make us learn the importance of patience and compromises.  More importantly it galvanize the concept of “sharing is caring” in our lives.

When the changes take place we do a reality check and go through a process of self-examination or analyse the situation which ultimately makes us responsible, thinking and active.

5. Love Helps During Changes in Life: 

Ruth: Love holds together and sustains our life during a transition period or any kind of changes in our lives.

Love is constant and absolute. And it has that potential to do miracles and wonders. During difficult times,  with love of family members and friends things have turned from negative to positive miraculously.

6. Understanding the Direction of Change: 

Avinash: But in the midst of this game of change, what we human being must do? We must analyze the changes in our life logically. We can know that by putting the changes of our life into the Cubical of ‘3 W;’ Change in Which WAY, What Purpose and When.

Unless we understand how the change is taking place, in what direction my life will go and what can be the implications of the change then we will be doomed.

Concluding my ‘Final Note,’ I can say by quoting somebody, “the only two things that are for certain in this life are change and death. And the way we choose to view these two certainties dictate the way we choose to live our lives. How we handle change shapes our future. Moments of change-both minute and colossal are all for a reason. In the grand scheme of things, every piece of this elaborate puzzle fits together for an ultimate purpose. A bigger picture.

So friends, never be discouraged and disappointed when changes of life hit hard but take heart and fight a good fight of life, trusting in God completely. When the right time will come you can see the bigger picture which will take away all your pains, suffering and tears  within seconds. So keep running the race of your life jumping over the hurdles of changes.

Stay Blessed!!!

Chiradeep

LIFE IN THE GAME OF CHANGE

The Right Honorable British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill (1864 – 1975) said,

“There never will be enough for everything while the world goes on. The more that is given the more there will be needed.

That’s indeed true if we look from the context of “Changes in Life”. In our life and as well every living thing under the sun changes every moment. Change in life is inevitable and the most indispensable part which need not be disregarded. Without changes in life we cannot survive.

Changes in life do not happen once. Changes took place from the time when we were in the form of liquid in our mother’s womb and the game of change in life remains unplugged till our earthly body decays. But in the midst of this game of change, what we human being must do? We must analyze the changes in our life logically.

Our GenNEXT mind says, “I’m DIFFERENT”! We strive to prove that by bringing changes into our life style. And which is paradoxical. Now, the big question is how to know that – “Is my change right!”? We can know that by putting the changes of our life into the Cubical of ‘3 W’.

Changing in Which WAY? : “There is nothing wrong in change, if it is in the right direction” – Winston Churchill. Change is obvious and should be, but we have to determine first that, in which WAY am I changing? Am I changing from good to better and better to best or am I changing from good to bad and bad to worst. If we take smoking as an example, we can see that from our childhood we are not smokers. We became smokers as we follow the life of our smoker friends. We knew that “smoking is injurious to health” still for the sake of fashion we do that and as the days goes on our fashion turns to our addiction.

Changing for What PURPOSE? : When I was doing inters that time a very beautiful Bollywood movie released “Tere Naam”. In that movie Super Star “Salman Khan” had two special haircuts, which is appreciated for the sake of the role he was playing in that movie. But soon after that movie most of the guys started keeping such haircuts which went against of their personality. Even most of such crazy guys were considered as unsocial by the elderly group. Bible says, ‘Do not follow the worldly patterns rather renew your mind and do which is good, pleasant and acceptable in the eyes of God’. Because we all are called by God for a definite purpose which needs to be fulfilled by us. We must measure each of our changes with scale of life’s Purpose.

Changing but When? :  Changes in life bring meaning and fulfill the purpose of our life. That’s the truth but this truth must be followed by the question “WHEN?”, because “there is a time for everything”. The great MJ achieved every conceivable things through-out his life. Even he had his own world called “Neverland Ranch”, but there was none of his beloved by his death bed and there was no medicine for him to heal from the alcohol stupefaction. Man doesn’t know about his Birth and about his Death. Birth has already happened with us and death is the absolute near future. Let’s change ourselves from all the unacceptable and ungodly stuffs prevailing in our life. The day is soon when no human being can do anything.

Let’s not forget the Cubical of 3 W, in the game of Changes in Life!!!

Stay tuned!

Avinash

CHANGES IN LIFE – THY NAME IS MARRIAGE AND PARENTHOOD

Hi Everyone,

Change is permanent.

Got a new i-phone, proudly showcasing it but got to know that your friend got an upgraded model at revised (read lower) price, what a change? Everyday new, newer inventions and discoveries strive to change our lives.  So, change is here to stay and it’s everywhere.  Weather changes everyday, season changes quarterly, water in river changes every year, government changes every five years (if we are fortunate enough and no mid-term polls) and numerous examples to establish the fact “change is permanent”.

When change is mentioned in reference to human life one incidence that effects life of every soul irrespective of their social standing, caste or creed is the sacred institution of marriage and following that is parenthood.

Marriage changes life for both the parties involved.  As soon as a girl and boy gets married they have big changes awaiting them.  Now the words “my family” embraces a new world altogether.

For a girl the change starts with the surname.  Soon everything associated with her parental house is a past including her habits and hobbies.  She might not have entered kitchen till the D-Day of her life but soon after marriage she is supposed to don the cap of cook and excel in the culinary art.  As soon as a girl enters her new home she is entrusted with every responsibility doesn’t matter how trivial it is.  That’s a “BIG” change for her.

When talking about the changes after marriage it will be unfair if we don’t talk from boy’s point of view.  Now every information turns into seeking permission.  Before marriage “mom I am going to see my friends.”  After marriage ” can I go to see my friends?” This is just one example. Many such instances can be given.

And what follows marriage just sets the life on a roller coaster ride, Parenthood!  Yes it does.  When a couple becomes parents they are hosting a whole gamut of changes in their lives.  Suddenly they are night watchman (woman), timetables keeping an account of feeding times, can no longer stay relaxed on weekends and binge on leftovers of day before, have to perform the role of clone as well.  In short you have to be whatever you are not before.

Till now whatever we have discussed they are more or less on lighter note.  An incredible change that marriage and parenthood brings is that they make us responsible. They make us think beyond “Me”.  They make us learn the importance of patience and compromises.  More importantly it galvanize the concept of “sharing is caring” in our lives.

It’s a difficult but a good change nevertheless (more often).

Raise your hands who agree with me, please🙋

CHANGE IS VITAL TO SURVIVE

When I think of “Change”, a very strong message comes to my mind – “Change is vital to survive”. The world is changing at a much faster pace than it has ever in the history. Technology has evolved way ahead of us, it is too difficult to keep up with the times.

The way technology has advanced has made it most difficult for our parents generation. I realise that when I teach my mother-in-law to use various shopping apps. For all her life she has loved shopping and now she has to browse over shopping sites/apps to know the latest trends. My dad did not have a mobile phone till 2008. He simply felt that there isn’t any need for it and today he is as dependent on it as we are. My mom learnt whatsapp recently because she simply could not afford any longer to be left out on all the family group chats. These people had never used computers and now they are getting comfortable slowly and gradually with technology. Embracing this change is highly important for them to stay up to date with their kids.

It scares me to think about the changes we would have to go through to be at par with our kids. My 18 month old boy already knows how to open youtube on my phone. I won’t be surprised if he surpasses my level of knowledge in his early school years. And that is scary because the world outside also has a cruel side.

Once in a corporate training, we were being explained the importance of accepting the changing world and change along with it. We were told the story of “Bajaj”. The company named “Bajaj” manufactured scooters. Most of us who are 70s or 80s born in India might have seen their dads use these scooters. Cars were only meant for the high class then and middle class used the Bajaj scooters. They were the pioneers then, almost every household had them or wanted to have them. They ruled the market for a couple of decades and then they were washed away by Vespa and other brands who came up with light weight scooters. Had Bajaj seen this change coming and would have innovated – they would have survived.

There are many other such stories. Kodak – which was such pioneer in the area of photography got washed out when digital photography took the driver seat. Nokia was the most famous brand of phones 10 years back – today nobody wants to buy a Nokia phone.

If you want to survive – change with the changing world.

CHANGES IN LIFE??? LOVE HAS THE POWER TO SUSTAIN US

The biggest miracle, they say, happens when a person turns into a new leaf leaving behind the old degraded self. One cannot easily comprehend how the new spirit comes to live inside the human eliminating the old spirit. This comes about when a person changes his habits, attitudes, priorities, goals and behaviours only to embrace a new life that lifts him up from ashes and puts him in glory. But what is the most powerful thing that brings about changes in our lives? Love.

The very utterance of the word love exhibits power. I feel the word love is synonymous to power. No wonder we hear of courageous acts conducted in the name of love sprawled across history. One who knows how to love is completely in possession of ultimate power. Love makes all things work in the Universe. Love is responsible for the sustenance of different people during changes occurring in their lives.

By love, I don’t mean the butterflies that begin to flutter in our bellies on hearing a particular name. This life changing love helps to hold together when “your world is completely out of sync and a feeling of lifeless living.”

It is this pure love that motivates a woman to become a mother when life brings a drastic change in that woman’s life. That love makes the woman to shower the treasures of her love to her children. This love strengthens a man to be a father who ultimately prioritises his family and works in sweat and blood to give them their best even during the difficult changes of life. This love brings the change in a woman to be a teacher who sacrifices her sleep to bring forth progress in her students. The love of a subject instigates a student to excel in it and face the changes that comes around him or her and makes him/her a something in life. This same love causes a vile neighbour to change his ways and become friendly. This love when showcased by a hopeful wife brings back her wayward husband to the right track. It is this love that causes a friend to stand by another friend during depression and brokenness so that a transformation can come about in life. It is this very love, my friend that transforms the woes of an orphan child to smiles when he or she finds a set of loving parents. And it was love that restores mankind from the depths of sin to heights of righteousness.

Love does accomplish things. The impossible can be made possible only with the power of love. Love holds together and sustains our life during a transition period or any kind of changes in our lives.  Another element that works along with love in the midst of difficult changes, is perseverance. And it is love again that inculcates this value. Therefore believe in the power that love has and you will not falter when changes take place. The change will come about easily and we will be adapted to it easily too.