WHY THEY ARE NOT LOVE?

ATTRACTION

A feeling of being drawn towards a person of the opposite sex on the basis of her figure / his physique, enchanting looks, lovely eyes, cascading hair, captivating personality, etc.

It is short-lived.

ATTRACTION IS NOT LOVE

 

CRUSH

 Occurs right away.

 Doesn’t last long.

 Is not a powerful feeling.

 Masks the other person’s flaws.

 It is all about physical attraction.

 Drains one of energy.

 Involves jealous.

CRUSH IS NOT LOVE

INFATUATION

 Occurs almost instantaneously.

 Is powerful, but short-lived.

 Seeks & flourishes on perfection.

 Focusses more on the physical.

 Drains one of energy.

 Involves jealousy & obsession.

 Infatuation means being in love with love.

INFATUATION IS NOT LOVE

LUST

 A physical emotion in reaction to the physical appearance of a person of the opposite sex.

 Involves physical & sexual attraction.

 Is a short-lived, but intense feeling.

 Craves for immediate gratification.

 Does not care for the other person’s emotions.

LUST IS NOT LOVE

 

LOVE

Develops gradually overtime.

Accepts the other person completely, along with his/her imperfections.

Grows deeper with time.

Is much more than mere physical attraction.

Is energising, not draining.

Is considerate, not jealous.

Is built on the foundation of trust.

Love involves being in love with a person.

LOVE NEVER FAILS

UNDERSTANDING THE PSYCHOLOGICAL ASPECT OF ADOLESCENTS’ ATTRACTION AND LUST

The very topic “Attraction and Lust” is such a subject which maximum people avoid to discuss about. Our culture has many a times made sex a topic to be avoided. But in the true sense it is a very significant subject which everyone should have knowledge of.

Today I would like to draw the readers’ attention to the psychological aspect of adolescents’ attraction and lust. Generally there are four stages of human development i.e infancy, childhood, adolescence and adulthood. I would like to emphasis only on the sexual aspect of Adolescence, as it is the most crucial stage of an individual. The growth achieved, experience gained, responsibilities felt, the relationships developed and the knowledge acquired at this stage of life destine the complete future life of an individual. Raymond calls it “The Renaissance Age” of an individual.

Sexual maturity in the adolescent is the central theme of this stage. The sexual energy emerges with great force at the onset of adolescence which remains dormant at childhood. Due to the sudden and vigorous functioning of sexual glands, sexual organs grow and the sex instincts reach their peak. Both boys and girls become extremely self-conscious and children who are antagonistic to the opposite sex start showing great interest and attraction towards the opposite sex. The ductless glands make them sexually active and there is an urge to satisfy the sexual cravings which so often leads them to masturbation.

Adolescence is also marked as a period of extreme emotional instability, where all kinds of emotions like anxiety, fear, love, anger, etc are extreme. Adolescents are too moody, disturbed, restless, sensitive and inflammable and their emotions fluctuate frequently and quickly. It is important that the parents and teachers should be very much aware of the peculiar mindset of the adolescents and should guide them successfully through this difficult period of their life, as this is the stage of human life where most of the individuals divert themselves into the wrong track….often establishing sexual relationship with the members of opposite sex. It should be mandatory for every sensible institution to arrange adequate ‘Adolescence Education’ for healthy growth which includes instruction on reproductive and sexual health.

— Arpita Dutta

IF WE CAN CONDEMN PRIDE, GREED, ANGER… THEN WHY NOT LUST?

God created humans in his image. From times immemorial it has been conceived that we are called to be one and one with God but given the present circumstances that is far from being true. This week’s topic talks about ‘Attraction and Lust’. This is something that has been dealt in each one of our lives.

While interacting with people, individuals come across the members of the opposite sex and during their growth years, experience major changes which have already been discussed earlier. Now the changes have been experienced by everyone but not all of us know the emotional and ethical folds that are in this. Attraction here deals with something that happens between two individuals and that can be considered a step further than friendship but later on leads to two broad pathways, Love and Lust.

To talk about something like this one has to have an uninhibited mentality as these topics are seldom discussed in the public forum. But it does not mean it is less important.

Love and Lust are two separate entities and by no means have they overlapped each other. While I was attending a seminar on Following God in an X-rated World I was enlightened by the following which I really think needs to be shared. This is how love and lust differ from each other. But before going about it I would like to say that Lust is listed under the seven deadly Sins of the world and Love as we all know is a gift from God.

When individuals indulge in Lust they look forward to using their partner while in love they care. This destroys the partner while in love it nurtures. Love is sharing a life with the partner while Lust is just a mere action. Lust involves separation in every way while in love a person emotionally bonds. Lust is visual and genital but love involves the mind, body and soul. Lust most importantly curses the image of God in the partner whereas in Love the image is honoured. Lust later on leads to depravity as it never completes but is temporary. Love on the other hand is a sign of sanctification. Lustful people are always irresponsible and are concerned about their own pleasure. People in love take up the responsibility. Actions done in lust are an act of rebellion against the Almighty while love is an expression of the joy of obedience to Him.

Therefore, friends we all get attracted but the choice is ours. Where do we want to go, the way of Lust or the way of Love? Through this, I don’t wish to condemn or judge anyone as we are all judged for something or the other committed. On another perspective if we can condemn Pride, Greed, Anger, Gluttony, Sloth and Envy, why not Lust?

ATTRACTION OR LUST? WHO CARES, IT MEANS THE SAME THING!

We use LUST as a negative word, and ATTRACTION as a positive one, without understanding that both words essentially mean the same thing.

For the longest time, I have waged war with this so called “attraction” in different ways, most of them through friends who would come and tell me, “It just happened, I don’t know when I fell in love.” This is not love! Beg your pardon people, but as soon as someone tells me something like that, I know it cannot be love.

Who am I to judge anyone though, especially since I have been victim to “attraction” too! So whenever in doubt, I always go back to my manual of life, my Bible. Here’s what my Bible says about Lust: For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 1 John 2:16

Notice how it does not stop at lust of the flesh, it says lust of the eyes too! Your eyes are the biggest deceiver.

So next time anyone tells you, ‘I don’t know how it happened…’, aren’t they really admitting to LUST?

My point is simple! To all the young people reading this, please understand this clearly:

LOVE is a lifetime DECISION! LUST is a fleeting FEELING!

We believe LOVE comes from God, because HE is LOVE personified. If love then, is eternal, how can we believe that these little fleeting moments that cause our hearts to beat faster for 2 minutes is actually LOVE? It is nothing but LUST.

We must learn to recognize the difference between LOVE and LUST – so many heartbreaks can be avoided if we just see the difference!

IS IT NATURAL SEXUAL INSTINCT OR PERVERSION?

Today is a world where we get everything in its distorted form mostly through media. Media highlights only which is trending or happening instead of what is right or should be trending.

The normal instinct of attraction of a female to a male and vice versa is also distorted and projected in a very erroneous way through different types of means. Various magazines, newspapers, adult movies, different adult internet sites & cell phones are the major among the medias.

Women are projected as a sex objects through different types of sexual contents specially made for internet sites, movies, whatsapp sharing.

These sexual contents reinstate our natural sexual instincts with perversions. This is not good and needs to be addressed or countered as early as possible.

 The adverse & after effects of sexual contents and Fantasies:

– Sexual contents mesmerize our minds, make us addicted to it

– It captures our attention and we start fantasizing day and night all kinds of imaginary and unnecessary things.

– This makes us forget our responsibilities and duties given by our parents and teachers.

– Our academic performance declines.

– Our social relationships with family and friends deteriorate, because as adolescents or youth we are too immature to handle our sex drive and its effects.

– Sexual contents motivate and force immediate gratification, which is impossible for the children and youth in reality. This frustrates us and makes us depressed.

– As sexual fantasies are wrong, the children and youth suffer from the sense of guilt and feel extremely shameful.

Friends! Careful of your instincts, let it be natural not perverted.