CHEER THEM UP, BUT HOW?

Cheer them up,

But how is it possible to cheer up the family who lost their father in the COVID pandemic?

What can bring a smile to the face, who’s last flight got canceled at the last hour? He is all alone locked in a room, miles away from his family and it’s been a quarter month.

What can drain his stress after receiving a simple email saying, “our company has gone bankrupt, we cannot pay you anymore, you can leave us”?

How can you comfort her when she is abused by her society members only because she is treating COVID patients and it’s impossible for her to runaway from her commitment to being a medical doctor?

How hurting it is when the neighbors’ gossip, rumors, and snubbing behavior is enough to say, I am a risk for his family and others as well just because I was a COVID positive last week?

Is a bag of rice for a month can comfort a family when they have lost their job just because the city is under locked down and all the constructions sites are closed for an unprecedented time?

Well, these are the few people and stories I am coming across since the COVID-19 pandemic spread out. Listening to their painful stories all it seemed “CHEER UP” is a good word but failing to be relevant. I was in a situation where I can neither help my friends nor can talk to them freely. I have to guard each of the words before I speak. In the meanwhile, I got a reminder of the Bible verse,

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”

Wise is the one who works accordingly in the due time. It is so defining to know that each of our human situations is time-bound which of course gives us the surety that the situation will come to its end at a precedented time. Now the biggest challenge before us is how do we react at each of the times. While in pain and heart-breaking moment, there is an unquenchable emotion and heart filled with sobbing words. All that they look for is a heeding ear and an understanding heart. Probably with this expectation, every human being in his worse condition looks for his dearest friend. As the Bible says,

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”

Oh, what tranquil experience it was:

As I picked his phone and heard his voice

I sob my heart out over poise  

The heeding silence of him

Quenched my words within.

After’ hours of interaction with him

My soul found a relish within.

This time he didn’t speak too much

Yet his few words of prayer, love and concern

Was evident enough to feel the retouch.

This might denote my strong personality yet, to be honest enough, “often I too experience the same”. But during that time, the biggest question obstructs the ways of my mind – Who is that strong pillar, on whom I can take rest?  

Years back, my Uncle gave me beautiful advice and I strongly follow it. Whenever I feel annoyed, hurt, angry, or stress, I feel too weak to guard my tongue. Honest enough, at times I have hurt many beloved ones. As a way-out to it, I try to remain silent and never avoid to go for a random ride. If that point, someone can scan my mind, he would surely say I am nothing other than a babbler. With locked lips and shouting mind, I just gush out whatever there in my mind calling out to God. As a matter of fact, soon I find both my mind and my stomach empty. I take some nice food and try to revamp to normalcy.

The way I cheer up others and I feel cheered up reminds me of my favorite song of the Irish poet Sir Joseph M. Scriven –

What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!

O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he’ll take and shield thee;
thou wilt find a solace there.

IF I CAN TRADE MY WORDS . . .

“If I can trade my words I would invest them in your smile”

That’s pretty much cheesy, right out of a popcorn romantic flick, isn’t it? Don’t blame me, I am currently watching way too many Disney movies – Prince, Princess, Love story, perfect fairy tales. They not only entertain me but a perfect recipe to cheer me up. Apart from that my phone’s gallery is my hideout. Binge eating, unforeseen shopping (apart from groceries 😜) are more or less commoners in the world of “let me cheer you” force.

But it is undeniable that no matter how much ammunition one has to ward off shadows of gloom, a strong shoulder to lean on and an empathetic & soothing word is still an unmatched comfort. We can falter and crumble at some point, all while throwing around a charade of being strong. We do need someone to ask and say “How are you?”, “I understand”, “I am with you”, “what can I do to cheer you up”, “you are strong”, “you deserve much more”, “relax, I am there for you”, “just chill”, ” let’s hangout, don’t bother for anything else”

Why do one need someone or something to Cheer themselves up? When one gets tired of chasing dreams, battling adversaries, struggling demons ranging from bullies to inner enemies of that of depression / anxiety, our mind send us SOS. Nursing of a dented spirit is so much needed to bring it back on its feet. All the apparent and oblivious battles deplete us of our both physical and mental strength and that’s when exactly doubts trend – Can I fight it out? Can I do this after all? Seems I am unworthy? This is proving futile, let’s quit? I have lost everything? Was it meant to be this after all? If these questions left to knock too much one’s soul they can bring sabotage the same beyond repair. That’s the very reason we are talking about this issue at the first place today. Be attentive dearies!!

Me as a person on the other side of the fense, in the capacity of a friend (universal relationship with every related person in our lives) got a weird sense of intuition (I can be boastful sometimes, kindly excuse me😂). With people whom I am in regular touch with can easily read between the lines from our seemingly “Fine” conversation. From dry OKs, lifeless HMMs, tone of “I am fine” in chats I can tell not everything is fine. May be rapport over years is the reason. Whenever I sense something off, the first thing I do is to pester them with one question “what happened”. Sometimes no matter how close you might be some investigation is imperative. *Note: an immediate call in person rather a chat always scores. Lending an inquisitive ear is very important. I believe in strongly saying this “I know it’s easy to say that I understand and be strong because I am not there in your shoes. But also I know that you have fared much better in more worse situations in life before, you will surely see the shore surely. You are loved. You matter to us, just remember this. And for anything else I am here, Talk to Me”.

A page from my therapeutic experiences (if you can call talking one): a friend of mine who now shifted to Switzerland had her share of self esteem blues (parenting can really take a toll). We used to talk a great deal. My only aim was to cheer her up invoking her love and confidence in herself. I used to say “You are doing great”. These words seem very simple but might rekindle the positivity streak within one self. Might work at least 5 out of 10 times. Even if it is 1 out of 10 it’s worth giving it a try!! And what made be happy was she used to say “talking to you brings positivity to me, I feel relaxed”. Can anything beat that?

Words can make or break so I chose the first one.

“If you are giving chocolates don’t forget to mix sweetness of words – for someone sweet like you.

If you are hanging out don’t forget to imbibe these words in the itinerary – it’s always so much fun with you.

If you are gifting diamonds to lift up the spirits don’t forget to polish them with words – for someone more precious than these.

If you can only talk then don’t forget to send your warmth via vocals – thank you for being with me, so PROUD OF YOU!!!❤❤❤”

Words make a lot of difference – period.

Quick Quote

Goal for life – have a compassionate heart that could feel the pain of a fellow being and a mind strong enough that won’t let me crumble in the times of personal distress.

Quote of the day

Actual beauty lies in POSSESSING a self-controlled mind, a kind heart and a beautiful soul.

Quote of the day

I let my emotions ooze out on it’s own to lighten up someone’s life. Rather than suppressing them feeling scared of facing the world.

Quote of the day

Be compassionate and let the life shimmer with its utmost sweetness.