WHAT I HAVE LEARNT FROM DEATH

We are born to die in this world. That’s the paradox of our lives. Everything must come to an end. If there is a beginning there has to be an end and without an end there can’t be a new beginning. I hope I am not sounding morbid. Nobody likes to talk, think or discuss about death. It is a difficult and uncomfortable topic. But I would like to share with you certain perspectives which I have learnt from death.

woman-71735_1280Death breaks people:

It is a self-evident fact that people breakdown after death of a beloved one. It can be the most difficult phases of one’s life. Few years back a close friend of mine passed away. We knew each other from childhood and studied together at school. I still sometimes find it difficult to believe that he is not here with us. Another close friend was gravely affected by this. She had feelings for him and had wanted to tell him about it that December. My friend passed away at the end of October that year. She fell into depression.  Gradually with the help of friends and family she was able to come out of it. Not that she has forgotten him but she remembers him in a positive way as a happy memory.

turkey-848420_1920Death can be a source of inspiration:

Those who follow Manchester United must be aware of the “Busby babes”. The great Sir Matt Busby was a great visionary and a brilliant football coach. On that fateful day of February 1958, the chartered plane carrying the Manchester United team on their return from Munich crashed while taking off. A whole generation of United’s players either lost their lives or were so badly injured that they had to end their careers prematurely. Few of them miraculously survived with minor injuries. Bobby Charlton was among them. He took upon himself the unfulfilled dream of those departed souls and lead Manchester United to their maiden European cup title in 1968; a whole decade after that tragedy. He still lives strong, knighted now and Sir Bobby Charlton carries the never-say -die and never-give-up-on -you- dreams attitudes through and through. A tragedy which served to inspire one of the greatest ever legacies in the history of Manchester United football club.

Death teaches us how to love:

Sometimes the guilt of not having loved our beloved one enough makes us do a lot of things for them after they have passed away. Collecting their pictures or creating or constructing a monument in their memory. Speaking well about them and remembering the good times with them. Instead of waiting to do all this before a beloved has passed away we should do all the good and shower all our love on them when they are alive and around us. It’s much better that way. To love and to be loved are the most beautiful of emotions. We should never delay to express our gratitude or affection on our beloved ones. I know it is not that easy but believe me, the effort is worthwhile. And one can peacefully rest in peace after that.

Death teaches us how to live:

I once saw a video for the song “saving me” by a band named Nickel-back. In the video a guy who has just been saved from death can see the lifespan of other people over their heads. A person who is about to die has a rapidly decreasing life span and the saved-person is able to view this and saves that person. And now this saved person can view other people’s lifespan and it goes on. Unfortunately we do not have the gift of knowing when exactly we are going to die. It’s our biggest gift may be if we look in hindsight.

Also, a person who has just escaped death gets a whole new second chance. A chance to restart his life, may be rectify all the wrongs. Not that you need a near-death experience for this to happen but a person undergoing that experience has the best understanding of it. Not knowing our hour of death gives us a wonderful chance to live our lives in the best possible way.

As the great man, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi has said, “Life becomes livable only to the extent that death is treated as a friend, never as an enemy.

Author’s Bio: Peter Minj, is a B. E. in Electronics and Communication. He works as a Software Engineering Senior Analyst at Accenture, Bangalore. He loves Football, Reading, Writing, and Music. He is an optimist, who enjoys the simple things of life.

(Image Sources: Pixabay.comderwseesds.blogspot.comquotesgram.com)

CLINGING ON TO OUR HOPES AND DREAMS

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Our hopes and dreams, do they really stand a chance against reality? Can we make them come true and are we even given a chance to reach out and fight for our dreams? Easy to answer right! The answer in most cases is no at least in the burgeoning Indian middle class.

I believe all of us in our most wishful thoughts want to become someone in their lives. That someone is characterized by our passion for something, something that is ingrained in us or we are drawn towards it naturally. The inclination deepens gradually as we learn more and more about our passion. But the global rat-race spares no one. This affects the mentality of our parents first and then channels through them to us. The effect is you have to become a doctor or engineer, or do an MBA and what is the reason for this? It gives more money and status in the society. All the students are cajoled, forced at times and mechanically trained to take engineering or medicine. They are not even asked if they want to pursue anything else and if they have any unconventional career choice, it’s ruled out by the parents. Giving up on the dreams becomes the likeliest option for the youngster.

Coming to myself, I was considered good in science as I scored high marks in the subject. This immediately gave my parents the idea that their son should become an engineer. They had never enquired me about my interest. I had a liking for writing but at that point was never serious of making it as a career. I ended up in an Engineering college eventually and got placed in an IT organization. Meanwhile my liking for writing had grown and I had become more serious about it. The possibility of pursuing it professionally remains.

Life has changed a lot after college. Most of us are employed, busy into our jobs as we try to impress our bosses. Looking back into introspection a question pops up in my head “have you found what you are looking for or are you just fitting in?” I find it really difficult to answer that in an instant. If the answer is yes for you, life can’t get better. Everyone has hopes and dreams of becoming someone in their lives. Very few make it though and it’s not that easy too. Circumstances and lack of will power get better of most of us. Eventually, we have to be content with what we get. Yes, jobs which give you decent amount of earnings or more can seem the best that can happen to you, but we are never truly content until we find that one thing that we crave for. With a realistic view, we all can’t reach the levels of success that some people manage when their careers and passions meet but still; we can give it a shot, trying to fulfill our dreams and turn them into reality.

We have our talents or something that we love doing (The base of our dreams). These are the things which bring us joy and contentment and we enjoy every bit of it just because we love doing it. What if we can’t become legends? At least as a hobby we can keep our interests alive and find time for them in spite of the busy work schedule. The other day I went shopping with my friend. His eyes lit up as they set their gaze on a bundle of paint brushes. He told me that he used to paint a lot during his younger days and was pretty good at it. I told him to buy a paint brush and start it again. He replied with reluctance that’s it no use now as there is so much of work and he does not find time for it.

Looking back at the past brings in lots of “ifs” and “buts” but they won’t provide you the solution. Giving up, when knowing that you can make your mundane life more beautiful and fruitful should not be considered as an option. It’s never too late to start to follow the dreams unique to yourself. Someone has told, “Better late than never”. As per my own experience you can always start again if you stopped sometime back.

Author’s Bio: Peter Minj, is a B. E. in Electronics and Communication. He works as a Software Engineering Senior Analyst at Accenture, Bangalore. He loves Football, Reading, Writing, and Music. He is an optimist, who enjoys the simple things of life.