More Pain, More Happiness you are Rewarded with

It is said that ” the height of emotional pain we endure, measures the amount of happiness we gain”.
What do you say?

Happiness is not just a stand-alone emotion, it is a comparative emotion.

If you notice, some people are overjoyed with even little things in life, because they have suffered the most inwardly and everything else they receive in life seems to give them the strong gush of happiness.
It is told that, if we do not experience darkness, we do not value the light we receive. It is hard to measure in terms of how much joy it gives, but if you feel your heart is uncontrollably happy and thumping, then you have the joy of your life.

Being a mother, i felt this joy, when I look into my daughter’s eyes, the immeasurable joy i find being with them, cannot be even expressed in words.
Some days, i get too tired and exhausted that i feel like the world is hanging upon me, especially when I was going through the postpartum depression state, it is hard but i guess most moms can relate to it. In such a state, the pain induced into our mind, due to insecurity, the helplessness, the chaos in life, the acceptance of becoming a mom, the madness of mad hours and much more is like a crazy drive, but again, in the end, when i hit the bed, be it like 12 in the night, or maybe like early morning 2, i just fall into the bed, and then comes, the soft little fingers looking for me, the moment it touches my skin… it is like magic.
I feel like being lighter and floating in some cloud. As if i am transported into another world and every burden seems to fly away from me. It is like a cradle holding me up in the world, protecting me from the thorns of expectations, troubles and much more. And all i need that tiny hands to hover upon me and put me to sleep.

This joy is immeasurable !!!
The joy of motherhood.
All pain disappears and all I need is my angels near me.

As i said, you cannot enjoy the joy every moment gives you, without enduring the pain.
People build walls around them to protect themselves from the emotional pain, but they forget, the higher they build the wall, the lesser happy they are gonna be. When we build walls, we disconnect from the world, which is also bound to give you happiness too.

Pain does serve several purposes in life.
It signals us to pure joy and happiness that is like a rainbow after the rain. But the more we run away from everything in life, we are gonna miss what is in store for us.
You can’t reach a destiny when all you want to do is stay indoors.

The intensity of the struggle determines the happiness you will receive.

BE DIFFERENT TO GET A UNIQUE JOY

We all are in a pressure cooker life. Hope you know what i meant.
Yes, from the time we are born, we are asked to do things, meet the expectations of others and much more. In this hurdle, we forget what we like to do exactly and what we want from life.

I remember the time when i was in my twelfth standard and my results were out, i did score good marks, but again my expectations from life were different. I didn’t want to go for a normal medical /engineering stream, I wanted to explore something different in my life. My parents like other parents did not force me to, they let me choose what I wanted to study. I didn’t want to burden them with my choices too. Hence I chose a normal degree course which did get me the best time of my life, the best job i could land in and much more.
It was indeed the best choice, that going with the current flow of engineering and medicine which almost half of my class did. Glad that I was not in the rat race.
The same thing I apply for my kids, I don’t want them in a rat race and choose what they like not what society is expecting them to do. It does bring in joy, a fullness of contentment which nothing else can give me.

You might not be in a better position, but you will be in a happy position with your choices because you chose them for your self no for anyone else.
Joy comes into our lives in different ways, one is through the choices we make. The more we stress upon unwanted things, the more we damage the joy of life.
You need not go with the crowd, just because they are doing things in the same manner, which went on for years. There is no harm in choosing something you like. All it does give you is peace and joy.

Choose yours wisely.

LIFE IS ALL ABOUT LIVING HAPPY

Finding joy in life is essential. But how do we go about it?

As it is said that one joy is a sorrow for the other. It is impossible to keep the scale balance the same for all. So how do we find what is true joy or what exactly is the principle for finding joy in life. 

It is hard, but again not impossible. 

Find out what truly gives you joy? 

Can you do that?

For some it is the joy of giving, for some, it is the joy of taking away. It is all about finding joy in your own way. We cannot blame the other, just because them attaining joy is a little painful for us. ?

Even a random smile from a stranger, care from a nurse or even the slight touch of a baby on a moms face, does bring in joy. 

Once you find out what exactly can give you a bundle of joy, then focus on it and work on it. As for me, writing is a joy. I forget my sorrows, my pain, my anger everything when i write and it is indeed the best thing in my life I ever discovered. 

Through my writing, I give people the joy of reading. But again there are few, who might not be happy with it, as they assume it is just a waste of time. They can’t be blamed, as it’s their perspective, not mine. 

But I do what I chose, As it gives me content and in turn a special joy. Finding what gives you content is important when it comes to joy. The moment you sacrifice your peace of mind, you lose the piece of joy from your life. Most of us are in a hurry to satisfy others, losing the conscience, but we all forget that the moment we find that keeping our conscience true and enjoying what we do is the true bliss of being joyful.

My cup of tea is my conscience, to which when I add the right amount of everything, it gives me the perfect sip which takes my stress away. And that’s my true joy.

I always follow these principles:

  • Always express gratitude in everything you receive. 
  • Be happier and forget the ones who hurt you. 
  • Carrying the grudge doesn’t help anyone but it only damages your soul. 
  • Do something, that brings in a smile within you. 
  • Work out or take a perfect walk outside into nature.
  • Feel the joy of giving.

Life is all about living, why waste it over something which never keeps us happy. 

COUNTED OR NOT, GIVING IS JOY

I recount the days when this pandemic started early last year. The whole year went on lockdown and we all were shut inside. It was the last week before the lockdown began for school. As parents, we were supposed to send small sanitizers and mask with our little kids just to be on the safer side. I brought each of them a sanitizer and then packed them to school. As always I had a bunch of instructions on not to waste the sanitizer and also when to apply. Like any other time, they listened i believe and went to school. 

By afternoon, when my little one was back home, I was removing her lunch boxes and asking her how was the day.. she went on and on when I suddenly spotted the almost empty sanitizer bottle. Before i ask, she said, “mom, my friends didn’t have sanitizer so i was sharing.” For a moment I just didn’t know what to react, but the way she said that i did enjoy it. There was a huge scarcity of sanitizers that month, it was hard to get any. But we were so happy that she did share, even if there was nothing more to share. Again their dad decided to go get another bottle of it since this was empty and we had yet other days to go. As he went to the shop, again because of huge demand it was hard to get one. I told her, dad called and told me it seems, no sanitizer available right now and she was unhappy indeed.

After few minutes, he called up and told he got one. As he was saying, i felt like it was an invisible hand of God that came in to help because of her goodness. He narrated to us, that when he went into the last shop on the row, for sanitizer, the shop owner said there is no stock left, he just even told one another person standing next to him to the same. But again he insisted him just to take a look once again.. and to his surprise, there he found one last one just meant for her. 

All I wanted to tell you was that giving what we have even when we know we might run out of it, makes you get more of it. 

We all do little things in life that matter to someone. We might not know or be aware of it, all we do is keep on doing what we are meant to without expecting any favourable outcome. Everything comes in your favour with time.

Like I keep writing quotes and random rumblings everyday, i didn’t know whether it was worth sharing or even someone reads it or not. But I keep sharing even if it doesn’t matter to any sometimes. Again some days I write contradicting my state of mind too. But finally, when someone comes to me and tells me that they value when they read my words and does influence them, I am delighted. 

Sometimes all you need to do is, give even when it is not counted or counted. Joy is not measured or counted, it is infinite and immeasurable. All you need to do is be the source of joy. Embrace the little things in life and joy comes in your way.

When you stumble on something that keeps inspiring you,
make sure you make room for it in your life.

Breaking away my cocoon and flying high

We all are so accustomed to living in our little world, scared to step out of our comfort zones and explore. I know its all not just me, but most of us are sailing in the same boat. I remember myself as an ambitious and adventurous soul ever since i got into school and colleges. I always enjoyed fun-filled and thrilling activities.
But ever since, I left my job in Infosys and got into the parenting walkway, I could say, I got bitten by it. I lost all my enthusiasm to step out of my cocoon, i began to build up a small home within my four walls. It was a hard step initially but again, once I got used to it, I fell in love with it. I hated the world outside, as they begin to judge me.
I forgot how did I ever looked like in the mirror, forgot to dress up and get ready for my hustles as I used to do. I started to focus only on my children who were my heart and brain and whatnot. I had no world outside them, but yes i had a virtual world connected, which connected me to the world outside like a tiny window opening for me, which I could shut anytime.
Still stepping out for me, was a brave step.
It was then, one day, my family decided to send me for a detox holiday. And for me thinking about being away from my kids, was something huge, like keeping a huge rock upon my heart which aches me too much. At first, the reflux in me prompted me to say that i wasn’t going for it at all. But then again, after a friend of mine and my brother who is my greatest companion talked me out and soothe me with words of assurances, I did agree to go.
And yes, it was indeed it was a great step for me as well as my children. It was indeed the first step for me as a mom to set myself free from the burden of weighing myself with loads of duties.
It was just the beginning for me after a very long time.
But it was indeed not the last.
Ever since i regained a pinch of confidence, it helped me get back to my career which I was never hoping soon to happen. But yes, as I write these words, I am truly delighted that my first step was never the last step but a great beginning to much more first times in my life ever since I became a mom.

WORK FROM HOME – A LUXURY OR AN AUSTERITY?

Ever since the lockdown began, things seemed a little upsetting. For me, it was just a complete stop to the new beginning of my office going. as I was just getting used to the environment at work almost after 10years of being at home. But again work was normal to me as I have been freelancing for a while but going to the office and being with my colleagues was a fun time. Thanks to the lord that i am always surrounded by happy people who keep me at joy.

But again, Everything is a blessing in disguise.

Lockdown and back to work from home did have lots of pros for me as a mom, and a woman as such. There were those times when I hardly took care of myself and every day was a marathon for me. And indeed the new job thing was also taking up my time with my kids, family and my besties. Now with my travel time saved, I kind of profited extra time which I surely get to use in plenty.

I also started working out much more and also took time to be with my kids. Things never seemed to be complex amidst work and life balance for me. Even though at times I do feel exhausted and lost (obvious mood swings), I still feel this is PERFECT!!.

I started to focus on my writing and even reading too. I helped my children to get to read more and also enjoyed my “Me-time” as well as my “buddy-time” which was almost negligible then.

There are also things which are not in our control like work-wise the expectations lay more specific as we have no excuses to make or run away from work. But again, here I feel blessed as my work is my passion, hence it never took my mind off.

Everything seemed to change, but some things never changed, like;

  • everyone around me asking for one more dosa, when I am in a hurry to finish my kitchen work and get to work,
  • asking for attention, when I am lost in work…
  • asking for specials to cook, when I am exhausted…
  • asking for an extra walk, when my legs are aching to take a break…
  • asking for the long story at bedtime, when I am in love with the bed, who is cozily rolling me into sleep.
  • the alarm that goes beeping, when these winter nights are for sleeping.
  • the morning rush, even when I am on a holiday, as others are not…

I know these things will never change, even if its work from home or not. All I need to change is my attitude towards it.

And all will look PERFECT as I wished for.