BUZZ OF FAILURE

From the moment we feel down and out till we recuperate ourselves to fight our way through all the hiccups of life our heart experiences an excruciating pain. This poem is about that pain, that hopelessness we all experience at one or other point of time.

Completely rattled by a relentless commotion,

I looked around to ascertain the origin of this motion.

More I dug deep and looked around, more I felt disappointed,

For there’s only a vacuum sucking me in and left me disoriented.

There’s a myriad of reasons to be celebrated with glee,

Also there’s despair marking it’s presence, lurking around rearing to engulf me.

I ran incessantly to escape the deafening roar chasing my existence,

Only to find the horizons closing on me, throttling every trivial glimmer of resistance.

I clasped my hands to hold on to a cover to shut off that nerve wracking noise,

I believed that shore is finally in reach, so is my sanity and poise.

But truth finally dawned upon me, it was the cry of pain emanating from the heart,

A barrage of piled up emotions that sedimented for ages now determined to tear me apart.

I realized for long I have been walking without moving an inch,

ache of being rejected, failing, falling is making it’s voice felt now with a pinch.

Nothing achieved so far , not sure of any success in future,

Its the buzz of questions that I posed to myself – how long like this, would I be able to provide my broken soul any suture?

For the moment I am standing at a juncture fighting demons within that eloquently pronounced me a failure,

Aware of the fact yet oblivious to the outcome, the only choice I am left with is to either give up or go down fighting as a gladiator.

The buzz of failure from within is the worst enemy one can deal,

It could cripple the courage, hurt the senses and butcher the individuality beyond heal.

I am listening to that buzz of failure…

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