COMING OUT OF THE DRIED BONES EXPERIENCE

I was called a self-obsessed person last year in 2020 when the Covid19 virus literally took the whole world under its control. The reason behind the person calling me self-obsessed was because I firmly held onto my own welfare in regards to my health condition. I had both genuine as well as self-obsessive reasons behind my behaviour otherwise as far as my knowledge is concerned, I am a very joyful and out of my own shell person who doesn’t like to dwell in self-obsession or self-pity. And I was at peace knowing that taking care of my own health and worrying about my own affairs momentarily while I am struggling healthwise is not self-obsession though I keep introspecting about it in my mind all the time.

When I was a kid, I struggled to live my life joyfully though I have a cheerful personality. I definitely, led a life with self-pity but once I tasted the sweetness of my God’s grace and realised how much He controls my life and the lives of everyone else in this world, I took a U-turn. And I started living a joyful life since then, doing justice to my original cheerful personality. But I would acknowledge that for the last three years since I had suffered Dengue in 2017 I have been struggling in life trying to tackle many things. Though I kissed failure in all attempts to get rid of my struggles. I became self-centred a bit but never suffered from the disease of self-pity.

A week ago, while trying to focus on God more when the whole world started falling prey to Corona virus once again, I came across a passage that made me think within once more.

Let me quote the passage:

No sin is worse than the sin of self-pity, because it removes God from the throne of our lives, replacing Him with our own self-interests. It causes us to open our mouths only to complain, and we simply become spiritual sponges— always absorbing, never giving, and never being satisfied. And there is nothing lovely or generous about our lives.

Oswald Chambers

Self-pity not only creates self-doubt within us, but it creates doubt about the existence of God and His might. I realised self-pity is not just a feeling which makes me feel pity for myself all the time, but it makes me behave and work in a certain way as well. Self-pity not only makes me talk about myself explaining my pain and problems to others but it also dries up all my God-given desires and talents which I should be using them for His purpose and for the benefit of this world at a large. We were created by God in a certain way to lead our lives using the talents in every situation – bad or good. Are we doing it? If not, we are attacked by the virus called Self-Pity.

I realised I may not be feeling and talking about myself and my problems and thinking that I am not suffering from self-pity but I am not using my talents but feeling low almost all the time. And that day, I called up many of my friends and relatives to know about them because I know I am good at encouraging and motivating people. I decided I will do everything to use my talent instead of feeling low all the time.

I know, my comforting words have always become a source of inspiration for many in the past. Many have been motivated and encouraged when I had prayed for them but recently, I have been feeling low and not trying to reach out to people. I decided to change my way of life and start doing what I do the best.

Trust me, friends, self-pity is such a virus that kills us from within and dries our bones as the Bible rightly says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Let’s stay away from this deadly dried bones experience.

Stay Blessed!