I was called a self-obsessed person last year in 2020 when the Covid19 virus literally took the whole world under its control. The reason behind the person calling me self-obsessed was because I firmly held onto my own welfare in regards to my health condition. I had both genuine as well as self-obsessive reasons behind my behaviour otherwise as far as my knowledge is concerned, I am a very joyful and out of my own shell person who doesn’t like to dwell in self-obsession or self-pity. And I was at peace knowing that taking care of my own health and worrying about my own affairs momentarily while I am struggling healthwise is not self-obsession though I keep introspecting about it in my mind all the time.
When I was a kid, I struggled to live my life joyfully though I have a cheerful personality. I definitely, led a life with self-pity but once I tasted the sweetness of my God’s grace and realised how much He controls my life and the lives of everyone else in this world, I took a U-turn. And I started living a joyful life since then, doing justice to my original cheerful personality. But I would acknowledge that for the last three years since I had suffered Dengue in 2017 I have been struggling in life trying to tackle many things. Though I kissed failure in all attempts to get rid of my struggles. I became self-centred a bit but never suffered from the disease of self-pity.
A week ago, while trying to focus on God more when the whole world started falling prey to Corona virus once again, I came across a passage that made me think within once more.
Let me quote the passage:
Self-pity not only creates self-doubt within us, but it creates doubt about the existence of God and His might. I realised self-pity is not just a feeling which makes me feel pity for myself all the time, but it makes me behave and work in a certain way as well. Self-pity not only makes me talk about myself explaining my pain and problems to others but it also dries up all my God-given desires and talents which I should be using them for His purpose and for the benefit of this world at a large. We were created by God in a certain way to lead our lives using the talents in every situation – bad or good. Are we doing it? If not, we are attacked by the virus called Self-Pity.
I realised I may not be feeling and talking about myself and my problems and thinking that I am not suffering from self-pity but I am not using my talents but feeling low almost all the time. And that day, I called up many of my friends and relatives to know about them because I know I am good at encouraging and motivating people. I decided I will do everything to use my talent instead of feeling low all the time.
I know, my comforting words have always become a source of inspiration for many in the past. Many have been motivated and encouraged when I had prayed for them but recently, I have been feeling low and not trying to reach out to people. I decided to change my way of life and start doing what I do the best.
Trust me, friends, self-pity is such a virus that kills us from within and dries our bones as the Bible rightly says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Let’s stay away from this deadly dried bones experience.