I sometimes wonder whether I am truly grown up as an adult according to the generalized societal standards or not. I rarely bother about what should we eat the next day, make a financial plan for the future and what will happen if there is a crisis. Usually, any adult man will poke his whole nose into these matters but I stay aloof about all of them.

So am I still a young boy and haven’t matured to be a man?

Adolescence is a liminal stage—it is the transitional threshold between childhood dependence and adult responsibility. The hard part is knowing when you’ve arrived.

Nancy Darling Ph.D.

I was and am aware of that threshold very well; then why am I wondering about my being a man?

From the very beginning, I had always relied on some or other person to accomplish something or other concerning me considering my ill health. I struggled to lift a heavy school bag, so my aunt and friends helped me to carry it. I found it difficult to run while playing cricket so someone else was appointed to take a run for me. I was not allowed to carry my own bucket to wash or take bath, so someone else at home did it for me. While travelling I rarely carried my own luggage, forget about helping others. I never rode a bicycle to my school or college so I used to go to my classes either by rickshaw or on a friend’s bike or bicycle. I never had the guts to stand for my friend when there’s a fight while studying in my school or college. I was scared considering my health. I used to back off or ask my friends to protect me.

According to me, the standards for reckoning a boy becoming an adult or man depends on his THREE M’s – Muscle, Money, Mind.

The growing muscle power or strength of a boy makes him a man. So when I look at myself in the mirror then I find myself to be the same boy who has never grown up to be a man in regards to his muscle power. I mean, I am not that same boy, I have grown up but I am talking about the degree of the growth in my muscle power.

Considering my health, I studied what would be easier for me than what I was interested in really. And I started working which was never very strenuous or fetch me good money. So I never had that mindset of financial plans considering what I have been earning. Though earning or working in a certain place was not primarily because of my health but it was because of my desire to do something. So whatever may be the causes behind my working in a certain place, the planning in regards to money has never been my mindset. Living in the present, finding joy in whatever I have, leading a simple life and in faith have been my ways. So if money is the major aspect to qualify as a man from a boy, then I haven’t grown to be a man yet.


I grew in the midst of pain, suffering, rejection, weakness and sickness which made me mentally very matured and tough. I didn’t become hard-hearted but very sensitive to the pain and suffering of others. I understand a particular person and consider his certain behaviours or actions leniently than how others would react to his misconduct. I grew up to be more compassionate. I grew up to be forgiving and I have always believed in reconciliation than resentment. So considering Mind as one of the standards to qualify me as a man, I am a matured man. I grew up well. My transitioning from a boy to a man in regards to the strength of my mind was absolutely great. I praise God for that.

As I still struggle with my Muscle power, sometimes I curse my not being so manly in regards to physical strength. Sometimes I feel bad when I could not do something for my loved ones or help them financially. But when it comes to the mental toughness, maturity to handle stress, taunts, negativity, I always express my gratitude to God for transitioning me to be an adult this way.

I am the man, how God wanted me to be, and I have transitioned in a special way, only for His divine purposes. I don’t question anymore but take pleasure in them.

Stay Blessed!


  1. Whoever said being a man means being strong surely comes from the dark ages. Being a man is being resilient and strong in the head. It means knowing when you’re wrong and owning your mistakes. It means taking responsibilities when you can and should. And you check all those boxes, Dada. But do you know where your strength lies? In your being ‘human’. That’s why we love you 🤗💕

    Liked by 1 person

  2. For me maturity and sensitivity towards others’ pain and emotions makes a good enough man, the way he is supposed to be or wanted to be by the creator himself. You are a Man whose child – the innocent, sensitive, free of malign is intact. It is something that needs to be cherished. Beautiful write up.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Muscle and Money without a sensitive Mind wreak havoc. A wise and sensitive Mind, with or without Muscle and Money is a blessing. You’ve had a blessed transition! Well written!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. More than my well-written article your comment is very well written, Rajnandini. Thanks for the wise and kind words for me. I am truly blessed in regards to having a compassionate heart more than a wise mind. I am proud of it.

      Liked by 1 person

Your valuable feedback please...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.