The car lurched forward, jerked and stopped. Sameer said in a frustrated voice “Aanya you have to slowly leave the clutch and press the accelerator simultaneously. How difficult is it to comprehend?” Aanya was near tears “You’re sitting next to me and rolling your eyes is pressure enough for me. Don’t shout at me. Have patience na… It’s my first day learning how to drive a car.”
Kaushal came home in a very bad mood. He was snapping at the kids and Suhana at every small thing. Nothing they did was right according to him. The kids scuttled away into their room on the pretext of homework. And Suhana was left alone to face the wrath of Kaushal. Suhana was simmering inside and was ready to blow her top too. But at the right time, her mind reasoned that she needs to deal with this situation with some patience. Kaushal was on his notice period in the office having been asked to resign. The pain of being treated unfairly in the current job and no other job in sight was taking a toll on Kaushal.
Shruti was bedridden for last one year after the accident. She was beginning to lose hope that she would ever walk again. She was so dejected that she had stopped trying also. No amount of cajoling was pulling her out of this stoic mindset. Aayan was at his wit’s end. But he knew he had to keep his patience while dealing with Shruti or else he would never be able to help her out of this dark pit of depression.
There are innumerable such instances in our daily life. Among all the relationships in our life, we have the maximum expectations from our spouse. There will be times when the behaviour of your spouse will irritate you or frustrate you. But before you lose your cool think about what the other person’s emotional state is. Maybe their heightened emotions are making them behave unreasonably. So be patient. Don’t react immediately and look for a better way to deal with the situation.
No, I am not saying always put up with their bad behaviour but do put yourself in your spouse’s shoes and think maybe at this moment they need your empathy and not your equal and opposite reaction.