PEACEMAKER – PACEMAKER OF PERISHING RELATIONSHIP

A random thought popped up as I am vigorously stirring up ideas in my mind to write for this week’s topic – A Peacemaker. I found an allegorical resemblance between a Peacemaker and a Pacemaker.

What does a Pacemaker do? I will keep it quite simple. “A pacemaker is a small device that’s placed in the chest or abdomen to help control abnormal heartbeats. This device uses electrical pulses to prompt the heart to beat at a normal rate,” as Google defines it so.

When the heart beats slower than the normal rate i.e. 60 bpm, it pumps less oxygen in the body which as a consequence results in many complications fatigue, short breathiness being simple ones to surface first. Hence a pacemaker normalizes the way how the heart functions, read beats.

So what’s the similarity? Just as a pacemaker, an external instrument normalizing the heart functioning and thereby ensuring the health of the body that includes reviving life as well, a peacemaker, an external catalyst/influence helps redeem the limping and perishing relationships – be it on micro-level between friends/family or on a macro level between nations.

What quality a peacemaker must possess? Knowledge of facts and figures, excellent communication skills, and integrity are few qualities a diplomat mediating between organizations or governments require. But keeping this discussion to a micro-level of “You, Me, Ours, Us and We” all it takes is Empathy, Patience, and a still head on shoulders most importantly.

As my dear friend Rajnandini said in her write up (must read it, amazing work) a person with no peace dwelling in his own heart/mind can’t ensure tranquility around and among others. And the most interesting aspect of being a “Peacemaker” is that this crown is conferred upon a person by others and not a self-proclaimed title just like a pacemaker installed by doctors and not by the patient himself/herself.

My experience: Being the eldest one in my family I often had my siblings pouring in their heart to me. Be it their differences with friends or partners or any other relationship /relative. And every grieving soul wants to be heard first without being judged. So I don’t interrupt in between. And after having heard to them I resort to my favorite line “let me talk to them” because I believe that every aspect has a second version of facts/perception. Once the other side of the coin is exposed (not in a negative sense) I make sure that the relevant points – concerns/worries/viewpoints are conveyed in a nonhurtful manner. Taming of ego is a big job of a Peacemaker. Unless the ego of a person is trapped, tamed, and shown an exit, peace refuses to make an entry and hence the relationships suffer a slow agonizing death. Peacemaker or not (I don’t know how my loved one sees me), I follow a simple formula – “you are right but the other person is not wrong either. Talk, Listen, and Solve TOGETHER”. I have numerous incidents in my life but can’t (actually don’t want to) specify or single out any incident -confidentiality clause.

Peace needs Pace” – slower we act or react to identify or resolve the issues corroding our relationships or body, death is writing on the wall. Think about it.

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