There’s something inside me… eating me. Where can I run?

I went lone for a long ride under the dark sky,

Yet, there’s something inside me… eating me. Where can I run?

I dined out with friends at the five stars,

Yet, after leaving friends… there’s something inside me… eating me. Where can I run?

I took ten shots of Absinthe Hapsburg over loud music at the back,

Yet, as the hangover weakened… there’s something inside me… eating me. Where can I run?

To divert the mind and feel refresh, I paid her for that night,

Yet, at the day dawn… there’s something inside me… eating me. Where can I run?

The 10000-word speech of my friend sounded good,

Yet, after an hour… there’s something inside me… eating me. Where can I run?

There’s something inside me… eating me. Where can I run?

There’s something inside me… eating me. Where can I run?  

Navigating through such stories, it wouldn’t be wrong to quote finding medicines to aid the physical pain is easier whereas aiding the inner wounds are too difficult and impossible at times. Mostly, inner wounds are caused when we breach the ethical and moral boundaries of our life. Revaluating the intensity and the intention of a mistake happens later but initially, its repercussion dispenses a lot of pain to the perpetrator and the pain is felt more grievously when the soul is intended to live a good moral life.

I remember, once my friend used her friend’s debit card on her online shopping ID for her friend (the owner of the debit card) and unknowingly the card got auto-saved in the same ID. The next day, when my friend shopped for herself the money got debited from her friend’s debit card. Since for both of their debit cards, the last 3 numbers were the same and for easy memory, they both were using the same debit pin, the real debit card use went unnoticed. Alongside since she (the debit card owner) was a student so the phone number registered with the debit card belonged to her parents. This again created confusion of multiple unnecessary shopping between my friend’s friend and her parents and as she (debit card owner) reported my friend to check the shopping transaction, the matter intensified to mistrusting each other. After a thorough investigation, the real issue was unfolded. But by the time the misunderstandings and doubts had already wounded both of their hearts. Further, the incident of earlier blame game started convicting both the tender hearts for the punitive behavior shown to each other. Years of friendship and love were about to be pulled down because of some silly mistakes and the blames of their own heart was not letting them face each other. My friend’s heart was crying out – there’s something inside me… eating me. Where can I run? I know, it’s the GUILT of my heart! But how can I get heal of it?         

The 20th century famous American Writer Mark Twain said,


True indeed, long back when I was entangled with the repercussions of my mistake, it was the same cry – “There’s something inside me… eating me. Where can I run?”. As a matter of fact, the wound got so grievous that, on 13th March 2011, I attempt to draw the last line of my life seeking relief from “there’s something inside me… eating me. Where can I run?”

The second question of my friend puts it rightly, “it’s the GUILT of my heart! Which needs HEALING.”

Guilt is the repercussion of our mistakes where we are caught-hold by our wrong deeds. In the modern days’ excusable language, we consider it on the lighter notes – “mistakes/errors/wrong deeds/weakness/so-on-so-forth” but in its original application, it’s the “SIN OF HUMAN HEART”. Initially, knowingly/unknowingly the ‘SINS OF OUR HEART’ entices us to breach the ethical and moral boundaries of our life and later its repercussion starts blaming us and haunts us, which can be rightly termed as “GUILT”. At the point of guilt-feeling, our sins are known to us but our sinful acts need to be confessed, then only we can embrace the healing touch of living a guilt-free life.

God in the Bible has expressed before us His promise,

“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD.

“Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow;

though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”

Freedom from guilt is available in the confession of sins before God and the human against whom we have committed. It needs our belief in the promises of availing forgiveness and our courageous attempt for confession. “God has promised to forgive our sins and make us guilt-free and make it more evident to us for our trust upon Him. He (God) became man in the person Jesus – lived among us – took the wages of our sins and died on the Cross– availed us forgiveness through His (Jesus) resurrection from death as God.”



  1. Brought out the true inner feelings of every human and their common struggles through sin and guilt. Thanks for providing the perfect solution found only in Jesus Christ. Really valuable for every human. Blessed after reading it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your opening lines made me sit through and read till the end. Had I not read them and just clicked on the like button and left then “something inside me” would have eaten my away my heart “why you haven’t read it completely” and that’s how you spell “guilt”. On this occasion I am not guilty 😁. You, Chiradeep and Rajnandini always talk, write and guide us in the light of the almighty using his word. God has blessed you guys with abundance of faith. And with his word and faith on your side guilt and sin will always be at bay, I firmly believe that. God bless you for writing such a profound piece.


  3. Thanks for your profound appreciation. Feeling worth writing.
    It has always been blessed to find you a good friend… though miles away but always makes us feel a person always there with us. God bless you.
    Good to know that, my opening line made you read the full article. ha ha ha


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