Radha’s fingers were trembling before clicking the “Publish” button on her blogging site. She was a leading blogger and wrote mostly about love and life which naturally drew lot of followers to her blog. Her blogs were often short, simple and oozing with emotions. Her followers would wait for a post from her and today was no different. She took a deep breath and hit “Publish”.
BOOM… went the post live.
Can Love Happen Twice?
I didn’t think I would ever fall in love again. I know that everyone says that after a heartbreak, but the difference is that I’m not heartbroken. I’m not cynical, or pessimistic, or sad. I’m just someone who once felt something bigger than anything else I’d ever felt and when I lost it, I honestly believed I would never have that again. But… I was 22 then and life is long. And I’m feeling things right now that I haven’t in a long, long time.
Should I or shouldn’t I?
It was 4 pm – the time when most of her posts would go live. Then she would unwind by plopping herself on a bean bag in her balcony with a cup of masala chai to sip from. She would normally spend an hour in the balcony watching kids return from school, senior citizens stepping out for a walk and looking at the mellowing sun. Not a word said, not a word thought!
After an hour she would freshen up, dress up in a crisp cotton saree, take her small purse and jute bag and would go out for some fresh groceries. She would always buy some candies on her way back and give it to children playing the society’s garden. All children adored Radha.
In a way, Radha had no family, but in a way, there were so many people who loved her. 10,000+ followers to her blogs, children from her society and their parents as well! She was a friend, guide and philosopher to many but girlfriend, wife, sister, mother to no one. Such was her life!
She would quickly fix the dinner for herself after she returned from grocery shopping and catch up on some saas-bahu sagas on TV. How all ladies love those typical serials and Radha was no exception. Somewhere around 10.30 pm when she is done with all the chores for the day, she would go back and check her post. This was a ritual. Like we say good night to our partner or family before going to bed, she would read the comments to her blog from her followers. It was some kind of assurance that someone in this world is there for her.
However, today she was hesitating a bit. After all, she had posted something very personal on her blog and she was not sure if she will be looked down upon for it. She was curious to know the reaction of her blogger friends and readers to her question but at the same time she felt very vulnerable, she had never opened herself to anyone, never after her heart was broken at 22!
Radha couldn’t reason as to why she had such feelings for someone, but there was very little that she could do, her feelings were honest and deep. She wanted to let the person know what she feels for him but she feared rejection. Not the rejection from that person – but the rejection from the society. After all, her love story was a bit odd indeed. It’s not every time that one falls in love with a person who comments and likes each post that you publish.
Radha had tried to reason with herself innumerable times. She had tried explaining herself that what is the guarantee that the person she has fallen for is a good person? Will he be same age as hers? What if he is goon? Who knows if he has a family of his own and many such thoughts but it was all in vain. She often tried not to think about him for wait for his comments but that never really happened. Radha felt a strong connection. Was it love really? And even if it was, how was it going to materialize?
Radha was scrolling through the comments hastily to find that one comment from that special person. There were many comments like…,
“Go for it Mam”
“Next part of the story please”
“All the best, listen to your heart”
And many more but Radha’s eyes were looking for the one comment from someone special. As the comments were approaching the end, she was a little disheartened that perhaps that special person has not read her blog yet. But wait, that never happens, he is the one who normally comments right in the first hour after the blog goes live.
Just then, a notification popped up. “You have received a new comment from “happygolucky”. Radha’s eyes lit up, a smile adorned her fact and just when she was going to click on the notification…..
Ding Dong, rang the shrill doorbell the moment Radha had gathered enough courage to check her today’s post.
“Arrrrgh….!!! This old man!” spoke Radha to herself. She knew it was none other than the old man who stayed in the apartment on the next floor. Radha would get annoyed with his daily requests for ice at 11 pm but never denied because she pitied him really. He was all alone, old – must be around 65 yrs. His wife had died 25 years ago and his son had left him alone after he moved to the US for higher studies. He never looked back, never! Did not even invite his dad for his wedding. The only help he offered some years ago was to put his dad in the old age home where he can be taken care of. This had completely shattered the old man but because he was the man of mettle, he chose to live on his own. He didn’t mingle much with other society members but he would often seek help from Radha in the form of some ice for his daily drink.