I WISH HE WAS STILL THERE….

While I am largely happy and content about my life there is one thing that I wish was different.

How I wish my father-in-law (fil) was still alive. We lost him when we were least prepared. His demise shook us to the core.

I got to spend only about 2.5 years with him. Its a very small time but we had bonded so well. Needless to say, he was the fatherly figure for me. Very calm, poised and full of cultural values. His energy and enthusiasm at the age of 73 would put youth like me to shame.

I have a sweet tooth but the family I got married in to prefers savoury food except my fil. We were the partners in finishing all the sweets and desserts at home. Even if only one piece was left we would always eat it half half. I love eating chapati with shikran (banana roughly mashed in milk and a dash of sugar). Almost every night we would share shikran and on the days when the veggie was not my preferred choice he would silently go get a banana and keep it in my plate without claiming his half portion. He used to often say that ever since I got married he got easy access to sweets because of me 😊.

There are many fond memories about him in my heart. No words can really describe them. It was destiny’s tough call to take him away from us and only if we could have done something to stop this wrath of fate. There was so much to learn from him but unfortunately I got very little time with him. I would cherish foreever those 2.5 years spent under his wings with lot of love and care showered on me.

I and my husband were quite young then. We were just settling down in our careers and married life. Unfortunately all that my fil saw was our struggle. Struggle to climb the corporate ladder, struggle to have our own baby, struggle to raise savings. How I wish he was still there when we over came all these struggles. How I wish he was still there when we bought our first car. How I wish he was still there to congratulate us when we finally started getting promoted at work. How I wish he was still there when Aarnav was born, his happiness would have known no bounds. Sometimes I wonder how he must have felt to see me transform from a carefree naive girl to a matured women who eventually learnt to care for everyone and everything around her.

Its been more than 7 years that he left for the heavenly abode but there is never a single day that we dont miss him. I remember few months after he was gone, I was supposed to join a new organization. On the first day, the auto that I was travelling in passed by the hospital where he breath his last. Tears welled up in my eyes and how I wished he was still there with us to bless us every time we started with a new venture.

How I wish he was still with us when we had be able to tell him to relax and let us take over all the responsibilities. But only of it was in my hands!

Even though he is not with us in a physical form he will continue to be in our hearts forever. I am sure that he is watching on us from up above. And I know he is proud of us.

Baba, we miss you.

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