A REGRET AND A VAGUE ATTEMPT.

Wish Life Was As Easy As My Computer Screen:

Made some errors?

No problem! Just UNDO and type again. But alas, no Undo button for Life.

I remember in the Spotlight series Saakshi asked me the same question: If you were allowed to go back and change one thing from your past, what would you pick and why?”

As I ponder upon this question, all that I see are my regrets and my fanatics. I regret days I wasted – I regret blunders I made – I regret the hurts I gave my dear ones – I regret the foolish decisions I made – I regret the wrong friendships I chose to nurture – and the list “I REGRET” goes on.

We often laugh away when our elders advice us: “One day, you will regret but you won’t have an option to undo your mistakes.” Isn’t this forewarning so fitting to this context!

Taking one such antic of my life into account:

One of my professional life demands is – ‘staying away from home’. Being well aware of my future reality, my mom used to tell me, learn to cook. Cooking has nothing to do with gender-specific obligations. Learn to cook now, you won’t regret when you will stay away from home. But with a manly swag 😎, I used to reply, “Oh, common, restaurants zindabad. We need to be mindful about the restaurant’s survival.” On 2016, when I settled in Kolkata, I lived with this swag for almost a year. But someone said rightly, “penny-pinching is a good teacher for men”. And that day came, ‘alone in my living room with half-burnt curry and over-boil rice for a meal, I wished, I could go back and learn that curry from Mumma and come back to cook for myself. But alas! It was too late for that.😔’

From the 13th of September 1997 to 27th of March 2007, there used to be aired ” SHAKTIMAAN” an Indian Superhero action show on Indian Television screen. Probably, that’s where most of we the 90’s kids were introduced to the unrealistic concept ” Time-traveling” (going back to the time to undo or do some undone works of our life). But our tender minds were barely capable enough to understand the disclaimers shown both at the beginning and end of the show – “All of these are ficious, it has no resemblance to anyone’s life. It is all the work of animation, IT IS NOT REAL.”

Wrong Doing – Regret – Learning is the process of progress of morally equipped human being. Now, a Saint is not a superhero who time-traveled and uplifted his life to glorious standards. Rather, once he was a wretched man, whose sins convicted him, he realised his mistakes by the reasoning of his mind, repented from his wrong ways, looked upon God to strengthen him with wisdom and holiness to navigate life in our sin-centric earth, and after a lot of hardships he gained the experience to live life with holiness and lo and behold NOW he is an example to all.

C.S Lewis said;

You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.

Indeed, we can’t go back and change the beginning, even thinking about it is a vague attempt. But why do we do so? Often, we consider ourselves as the victim of our past. And if I am allowed for an exact interpretation of it, I would phrase it like this, “I am the victim of my tragedy and the perpetrator of the problem is Mr. X or Ms. Y, not I!”
Going little ahead with this mentality, we EITHER start idolising a successful someone with same/similar story and their way of coping OR we start pushing ourselves to live with our wounds which later bounds us to live another heinous and cancerous way of life.
Penning from God’s perspective, God understands our frailties and he never wants to see us in malady. So, in the uniqueness of our problem, God wants us to repent from our mistakes and learn from our malady and attempt to live life on glorious standard instead of mulling in vain regrets and pining over silly attempts to go back in time and set things in the right order.
As we trust His perspective and attempt His ways, He offers us His strength in His personality reflected in Jesus.