COULD IT HAVE BEEN ANY BETTER?

Many of us may be content and happy about how our life is today but if we look back and can change something, we would certainly have more than one thing to change. Though we don’t regret what has happened, there is nothing wrong in introspecting to make our future better.

When it comes to my life, without a doubt what I would want to change is how I dealt with people and feelings associated with them. Quite a few things that are usually obvious for others were not so for me. A lack of understanding of people has let me down many times. Someone told me, “It is easy even for a fool to fool you. All they have to do is smile“. This came from an acquaintance and has disturbed me for quite some time now. That’s because the statement is true. But how?

I am sure all of you have friends. During our schooling, university, at work place and even in the neighborhood we make friends. Some of them grow up to become acquaintances and others become best friends. When we are moving from one phase of life to another, our friends change and so are our expectations from them. Sometimes we outgrow our friends and other times our friends outgrow us. In this process, our friends can make us better or worse. As the interests are growing apart, it is important to assess if we can still be friends with that person. May be we jelled well earlier, but at that point of time, we should ask ourselves if this is the person who we would want to be associated with. The answer might turn out to be “no” for some and we should let go of them. Often we don’t do this essential assessment and end up with emotional baggage. There is absolutely no need to maintain friends that can be harmful to us in the future. I never really did this in my life. I always had few friends and every time the distances grew it has only left me devastated.

The second thing I would have done differently would be to open up myself for the world more than I did. My parents were very protective. They would allow me to do certain things on my own like applying for passport or opening a bank account but they would always drop me till the doorstep of the office. I never used went out with friends or movies etc. This continued even after I got a job because I felt this how it is in the world. Even when my cousins who are younger than me bought their own vehicles, I thought a two wheeler is unnecessary even when I could afford it. Are you thinking what’s the big deal? I have not learnt the importance of having independence. If we are always dependent on others to commute, go out and do something, we loose our individuality. Also, this might create fear in some people to do things alone. What helped me here was I started travelling alone. At first, I was really very scared. Fortunately I found a good travel group. This does not in any way mean I have not had hiccups. Someone misbehaved on a trip, has unpleasant experiences travelling solo but, how soon I overcame those was really surprising. Few years ago the same would have stolen my sleep for a few days. Now, I have a better understanding of what trivial situations I should not loose my sleep over. Few days ago, my dad said, “You have been travelling quite a lot. Why don’t you stop now?”. “I started travelling just now, there are so many countries and so many places. I don’t know how much I can cover in this life” was my response. My dad was not expecting that answer from me. But girls, trust me, the confidence in you is the strength to your family. Tomorrow if you run into some trouble, your family should be confident that you would be able to deal with it. Parents, request for you, do let your kids spread their wings. There is no great teacher than life.

Slowly and steadily I am trying to grow and learn from life. It has been tough and it is only going to be tougher. Sure, we cannot change our past but with constant introspection into our own self, accepting our mistakes, learnings from our elders we would be able to traverse through life with ease and certainly carve our future. Hopefully, the small changes I am making would make my life better. Is there anything you would want to change? If so, what is that?

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