Making friends is an art, which I know very well. I had been craving for people around me since I was a kid. The very reason was my restrictions to go out and be with my friends. I suffered from being alone (I won’t call it loneliness) since I was 8 years old till I went to college at the age of 17. But you can say, it was God gifted quality that I had in me, that I can make friends, build connections very easily. And at the age of 43 now, when I look back and assess all the relationships or friendships that I had established in my life I find one major cause of Lack of Commitment in a given relationship or friendship is DISTRACTIONS surrounding it.
There was one close friend of mine, who was sharing about the problems in their marriage. She wrote it down about all that was happening in their life and I took the time to read her long detailed messages and answers, again and again, to come to a conclusion. My conclusion was, they had every other thing around them to distract each other from ‘THEIR TIME‘.
Let’s do a postmortem of what and how these distractions creep into the relationships…
1. Work Pressure: Previously, I have seen my grandfather coming back home at around 6 PM and rest for an hour and then used to spend time with family, with us. He was an engineer and was a very sincere man in his work. He used to go on official tours as well. But he never had forgotten the time that he had committed to his wife, his children, grandchildren, even to the extended family members as we were in a joint family.
But today, the work stress is so much that it had taken away the time which was supposed to be committed to the relationships we are in. Work Pressure has been working as an agent of distraction towards our lack of commitment.
2. Social media: Social networking sites have taken our primary leisure time today. We think we stay very updated because of social media but these sites eat us up from within as the days pass by. The Bible says, “For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief“.
How true it is…! Previously, when we were uninformed, we were at peace but today, when we have everything under our fingertips we get distracted from the main issues of life getting distracted by unnecessary information.
3. Easy and many friends: It is though a subpart of the above point – social media, yet I kept it separately knowingly to explain the gravity of this issue.
Previously, we were rarely going out of our box to make friends. We used to have friends from our schools, colleges, workplaces and to the maximum, from our localities. If we extend a bit more, then we used to have something called, Pen Friend which is treated as a tiny dino in today’s world. 😛
But now, we have friends from different continents, from the whole world. We know everything about them, even the dates of their birthdays and anniversaries but don’t remember our own special days.
Sometimes, I feel very guilty of having such a huge list of online friends in my life. Trust me, they do distract individuals from their personal commitments to their parents, spouses, children or to the relationships that matter the most.
Let’s not get entangled with such distractions much today and suffer in our relationships for lack of commitment towards the person entwined with us.