It is said that “A good communication begins with good listening“.
But how many of us listen?
In my home, the day begins with me screaming around and asking my kids and husband to get ready for the day. And it is truly said, ” if any woman speaks and no one listens -then her name is MOM”.
I just have to push them ahead to get my day moving. Even when they don’t listen, all I do is smile inside as it reminds my days as a child. Even when growing up, we still do the same with our parents.
Have we forgotten what exactly listening means?
If we look out in society, everyone is a speaker, if I could say precisely- a motivational speaker. If I am upset, or write something quite upsetting – I have at least a minimum 10 well-wishers coming to speak to me.
But are they really our well-wishers?
It is the most confusing part of the conversation, that takes up my time. Each and everyone comes to speak to us, but then very few like countable ones are actually bothered about our actual situation and want us to swim across the wavering tides. When our minds are disturbed, it is difficult to distinguish who are our friends and who are not. I have had enough experience with fake people and the outcomes of their wrong advice. Call me a fool or blind – but I am sure everyone has such phases to think about.
I have had a couple of experience, wherein I was misled by my own family members, who pose as well-wishers and then ditch us a walk away, finally, when the blame game begins, they just mock our wrong decision making. This is what happens when we listen to people who just hear us, and not listen.
Most of them, just want us to hear them, and follow blindly. We actually jot down their points and then follow them, as if they actually meant to help us, then finally realising, we were just another piece of an experiment for them.
If you see the current society, the majority of the problems are the outcome of our lack of listening capacity. Couples don’t go along, as they hate listening to each other because of ego. Parents don’t listen to their kids, and then in future, they don’t listen to their parents.
Does listening take up so much time?
All it takes is a few seconds, then it is effortless.
Listening is always a choice, one needs to take up to be supportive, while speaking is spontaneous in most cases. Unlike hearing, listening need not only ears to open but also the heart. One must be an effective listener to anyone who requires someone to talk to.
Do you listen to your heart?
It is something we have shut our ears to. Most of us, don’t listen to the warning that our conscious mind whispers to us and walk into trouble. It is said that God has designed in a way, where our conscious soul is capable to identify the problems before it comes or occurs. We ourselves have the power to solve every problem, but as we have shut our ears to our soul, we follow the footsteps of the outside world, until we finally have none to listen to. So let us all listen to ourselves at least for a minute, and then see what changes we can bring in ourselves.
God gave us two ears, and one mouth just to remind us that listening is twice important than speaking.
To conclude, it is important to identify who truly listens to us, or whom we are listening to. A True listener actually paraphrases what is being told, before landing in any conclusion or suggestion. It is easy to identify the listener through their body language and the way they let us spill the whole matter before running into conclusion. Most of the listeners acknowledge the speaker through nodding or with eye contact, which is actually all the more encouraging.
“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” -Karl A. Menniger