“Lunch is cooked, I can relax now. When kids arrive I will feed them this” and I am lost in my thoughts and get busy with other stuff (preferably and most often I doze off in such situations, 🤫 it’s a secret). When kids arrive the drama starts to unfold. My son who just started communicating in petty words puts across a demand. With a potato in his hand, he starts pointing out at the flour and says “Puri, Puri” (Indian bread deep-fried) as potato curry makes a great combination with this bread and he being a foodie knows his combinations very well. I tried to dodge him, tried to appease him with other options available but he wouldn’t budge. And that puts me off big time. I have to oblige anyway because I can’t let him go hungry. And here starts a tussle between my laziness and patience and my motherly instincts. And that’s the worst tussle one experiences.
Then the devil hiding behind the veil of my smile comes forth. Suddenly apple of my eyes turns sore. Utensils come crashing, shelf doors bang real hard, blood shoots up to head as I start from scratch cursing my fate “WHY!”. “Why I have to go through this ordeal of preparing lunch again as I thought I was done for this quarter “, “Why can’t you eat rice that’s already prepared, “Why are you so stubborn”, ” Why you know so much about food and tastes at this tender age, we never contested so much at your age” and that goes on. Meanwhile, at the back of my mind, a place equivalent to the tip of a pin, a voice meekly whispers in my ears “Hello, what are you doing, don’t you care about your image of a “Patient Good Mother”. Breathe in breathe out, prepare it and finish it. Give your body some work and rest to the brain for God sake”.
So this is a pretty common scene at my home. I cook with soul and heart but when I am asked to prepare something at the wrong time I suffer from verbal diarrhea (high decibel with kids, hush-hush affair with husband 😉). I have to do it anyway, no way out so the pans and floor witness my frustration more than anyone else😂😂.
And it isn’t just one particular situation. I have put the non-living things at the receiving end innumerable times. Hand mirrors, clothes, phones, shoes and what not. Special mention: I am cautious enough not to damage them 😁. My face more or less looks like these emojis mentioned below during those moments:
Not nice na?
I tried to ascertain later “What’s the matter with me?” Pat comes to an answer – Laziness, period! Unwillingness to do a job at odd times (for instance preparing breakfast at 3 AM in the morning, I have more in my kitty😂😂) simply because that was not on cards and mind really not prepared for this.
But wake up lady, you are not a computer to follow a particular coding. A human and a woman and a mother – Oh what a combination! You can’t really have an algorithm of activities.
Coming to the point: Such moments when you lose hold of yourself and tongue, what to do? If I say something preachy now that would be like “pot calling kettle black “. Still, I want to say something out of my experience and observation – when there is no way out but to carry out the function it’s better to do it while deviating your mind to something you like or enjoy, may be a video, a thought, call to your dear ones and so on. That would surely calm down your nerves and save you from unwanted altercations arising out of a few moments of disgust/frustration. To get frustrated, to cuss, to err is human, nothing to be ashamed of it. But we must surely try to exercise some restraint especially when your frustration is not conveying any message to the concerned party but driving an altogether wrong point, putting you in wrong light, isn’t it? Try and try until you win. I will too 😁😁.
Remember: a pan won’t be hurt of your frustration but a human will be.