Complaining attitude or grumbling is the biggest among all the joy stealers in life, as far as my knowledge is concerned. If we observe the faces of people, we will find them grumpy and ugly when they are complaining or grumbling about something or someone. When I was young, my aunt used to tell me, “Go and see yourself in the mirror, how you look when you scream grumbling about something”. And after the period, when I actually realize how I would be looking while complaining, I feel ashamed of myself.
But a question popped up in my mind as I was thinking about this grumbling attitude – “Why on earth we complain or grumble?” I understand, it is good to raise voice against something wrong that we see but that’s not what we are focusing here.
If we closely observe our fellow humans, then we will find him or her complaining a lot of time at a particular time. There is a survey which tells that the average person complains 30 times a day. I was shocked to know that… 30 times! Huh! Another article published in The Daily Mail, says – “The average adult complains for eight minutes and 45 seconds a day.” That’s astounding!
“Do everything without grumbling or disputing, so that you may become blameless and pure…” This is what the Bible speaks of grumbling.
So, it means, if we grumble, we are guilty. The attitude of complaining or grumbling is sinful. But why is it so? Why doesn’t God like mankind to grumble?
I found the literal meaning of the word “complainer” in Greek is – “one who is discontented with his lot in life.” If I simply explain it, then a grumbler or complainer doesn’t accept things that happen in his or her life and ultimately stays unhappy and grumpy all the time.
So, coming back to the same question that raised in my mind earlier, “why we grumble or complain in the first place?” “What is the psychology behind complaining?”
I found SEVEN such reasons which I have explained as under:
- Dissatisfaction and Discontentment: The first reason behind why we grumble, according to me is, when we are dissatisfied or not content with something that we receive or have in life. We grumble, complain and murmur showing our displeasure or annoyance. For example, I always grumble when my wife brings the parents of her students to our home.
- Displaying Superiority: Sometimes we grumble and complain of things or surroundings or rules, by displaying our superiority in regards to our knowledge of the matter more than others. “He didn’t understand the situation well at the time of crisis” – this is a complaining statement made on someone else to depict that, “I am mature than him and I could have handled things better”.
- Unwillingness and Excuses: Most of the time when we are unwilling to do something, we give excuses in the forms of complaining or grumbling about things or people. When children don’t want to go to school, they either complain about stomachache or about friends bullying them or about bad weather etc. Similarly, we adults grumble to our own self when we skip going to office due to our sheer unwillingness.
- To Control Over: We tend to complain or grumble pointing fingers at others to control people’s minds. We provoke others to shift their allegiances to someone by complaining or demeaning about him or her. We find many instances as such in corporate sectors and politics. Mudslinging is the weapon used to take control over a mass using grumbling as fuel.
- Out of the Sense of Insecurity: I have a colleague who always irritable about everything and everyone, complaining about this or that all the time. And the clear reason behind his this behaviour is, drawing the attention of all, as he feels insecure about his limited knowledge or lack of education.
- In Defense of: So many times, as human, to save ourselves from punishment or correction we complain about situations, circumstances and even the people around us. For example, when students are asked to explain their delays to class, they usually complain about traffic or bus or something even vague to save themselves from the corrective measures impending against them.
- Out of Habit: Sometimes, out of habit, we grumble and be critical for everything that we receive or see or about people. This attitude becomes our way of leading life. It becomes a habit for some people, so to speak.
In my life, I have many more reasons to complain about life, stay grumpy and grumble all the time… and I also did a lot, in my past, if not by raising my voice or protesting, but definitely in my heart and mind.
However, my life changed when I started to learn accepting things around me instead of allowing the joy stealer to overpower me. Focussing on God’s goodness and thanking Him for all that He has been doing in my life, transformed my mind and I started leading my life with a new mindset.
Friends! Be Thankful to God for whatever we have because that is the only antidote to cure the disease of complaining and grumbling.
“Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
– THE BIBLE