“Don’t say sorry too much”, I keep telling this to my 3 year old. He just says ‘Shoi Mumma‘, every time I raise my voice or make a sad face. I feel it’s because we use the word ‘sorry‘, quite often with our children.
With my 7-year-old, the case is different. For any antagonistic behaviour, he will say sorry only when we coax him. However, when he mellow down and realises his mistake, he apologises himself. This is what matters the most- realisation of one’s mistake.
No one is perfect. We are bound to commit errors, each one of us does. I wish we had erasers to erase our mistakes! Since that isn’t possible, the importance lies in realising our mistake and apologising as soon as possible.
At times I lose my control and shout at my children. At times when both of them are quarreling, I go mad and slap my elder son, even when the younger one is at fault. But, within minutes I realise my mistake and continue to apologise until he smiles back. The same thing happens when I am fuming with anger and feel sad about anything wrong that my kids have done, they will rehearse together and put up a small drama just to make me giggle.
Nevertheless, many situations come when elders are involved. Then comes our big egos in between when we feel that we won’t apologise simply because we are not at fault. There’s a cold war in the relations and then gradually the drift begins. So, just because we feel we are not at fault, should we forget the good attributes of that person? No, we can’t.
So, whether you apologise or not, better talk out your differences. Sometimes it’s just alright to have a difference of opinion and you can’t do anything about that, but to just let it be.
There are instances when there is a clash in the perspectives of our older generation and us. We say or do many things which we don’t realise, but, our parents/elders may feel offended. In that case, it’s always good to seek an apology from them, just out of respect.
And it’s not always necessary to use the word ‘sorry’, it just can be your behaviour that should speak.