First things first, I am primarily focusing on Love between a Man and a Woman as a Man and a Woman that “could” culminate into life long togetherness. So other forms/facets of love not bothered here on this page today.
14th February is round the corner and something really obvious and repetitive going to happen. Ask me, I will tell you. Television channels airing the same old “brand ambassador for romance” movies with a caption “Love is in the air, come experience it“; prices and sales of the greeting cards & flowers moving in the same – North direction; malls painted (well, almost or figuratively) in hues of pink, purple and red; girls planning how to react to the surprises they would or could get whereas boys demanding appraisals to meet the expectations of their fairer counter parts when it comes to surprising them. Have I missed on any point? Yes? Let’s catch up then 😉.
And surprisingly it is something that I have noticed over a decade or fifteen years period(approximately), there’s been a transition in the very idea of how Love is perceived or looked at. The deep, vast and varied characteristic trait of Love has been reduced to a one-dimensional and shallow concept of Romance. There’s a huge difference between Love and Romance. Few points of difference in a bird’s view:
- While love is about staying together in thick and thin, romance commences when you are thin (read petite and svelte) and starts suffocating with extra pounds gained.
- While romance demands regular surprises being in love requires absorbing shocks together .
- Romance is more or less about flying sparks whereas love is about staying rooted with strength.
Well, that was preachy, isn’t it? But a truth indeed. Unfortunately with generations ascending Love and Romance are used as synonyms more often. There’s an upward spurt in the number couples being rebels without a cause just because it’s more adventurous and they send a statement across and equally rapidly increasing number of fallouts after entering into a committed relationship (read marriage), growing number of couples giving a try to “live in relationships” because of their commitment phobia or simply lack of trust in their “Love” towards each other. Thumb rule to be understood: To be romantically inclined towards someone it’s enough to know the good things only but to be in love forever you need to accept the negatives too.
And this is what is missing in love stories spun off late.
What could be the possible reason behind this shift? I am possibly too immature or possess little knowledge to talk about the infiltration or influence of one culture on another, so I won’t start dialog on that note. What I see is the huge impact of electronic media in the form of films and television. Love at first sight, sugar-coated talks, all perfect people, pleasant surprises, glossy images – this is what influencing young minds. And by young I mean as young as 15 years. Shocking yet true. People started believing what they see onscreen, they imitate them and strongly desire to live their dream of a perfect relationship as portrayed on big or small screen. But soon gets a reality check once the honeymoon period (not literally 😂) is over and responsibilities make in roads into a relationship. Adjustments and compromises which a are part and parcel of relationship underlined by love are a big NO-NO in romance influenced by romantic films and novels because only one person among the two have a say or prefers to have a say. And fights/ disagreements are considered to be bad omens and ironically we grew up our parents, grandparents, uncles-aunts having disagreements and arguments. Because having arguments is not a sign of receding love. On contrary caring even when you have a tiff with your partner is Love. For instance I have seen couples not on talking terms yet the wife communicates without words that she has cooked for husband as she doesn’t want him to go hungry and husband acknowledges her efforts by persuading her to take medicines on time as he cares for her health (can safely call it my story 🙈). This is Love in true sense, at least for me who belongs to old school. There might be no expensive gifts, holiday trips, sugar-coated words yet there’s priceless bond!
Something really disturbing: Not everyone will agree with me with my idea of Love and Romance and there could be a possibility that I might have let some misconceptions breed within me. You are always welcome to challenge my ideas in the comment section 😊. So coming to the “serious” issue, as I told films are having an impact on the very idea of how love is perceived, I stick to it. Our films have relentlessly promoted stalking as a tool to woo a girl and some cheap disgusting ideologies like “If she says No it’s a Yes”, “Her silence is acceptance”, ” If she passes off smile then she is trapped”. Unfortunately an entire brigade of young people are taking these cheesy lines of their beloved stars as gospel truths often resulting in some gore incidents like rapes, acid attacks, eve-teasing, stalking and much more. Responsibility to curb such mentality lies with parents as to how they groom their kids positively about accepting others’ decisions, right education and of course the brand ambassadors of hypocrisy (read actors) should think socially & responsibly before endorsing anything onscreen. May God gift them some sense.
Finally a petty message for every couple who are and who think they are in Love – for relationship goal don’t imitate any star couple but ask your parents or grandparents as to what relationship goals are; as to what it means and takes to spend a lifetime together. AND LOVE IS NOT AND NEVER EQUAL TO JUST ROMANCE, IT’S BEYOND AND ABOVE IT!
And last but not the least a comic video to show how Love is misunderstood by this young generation: