I never forget one incident that happened in my life. I was in college at that time. After the class in the afternoon, I used to play Cricket with the neighbourhood boys. And that day also we were playing when a neighbour came between and asked all to go away and stop the play. He shouted at all other boys which were meant for me indirectly. The game stopped in the middle and I walked back to my home. But I was restless and furious on that man. The man and the families surrounding the neighbourhood were all our tenants and we were the owners. I had that pride. And shouting from a tenant that too without any reasons was not acceptable to me.
Minutes passed by… But I was unable to calm myself down. My mom offered snacks but I could not eat. She asked me what happened to you but I just kept quiet without saying anything.
That man was older to me. It will look odd if I would have shouted back at him. It was a prestige issue for me. Again, I didn’t want to make a fuss out of this incident yet, I was annoyed on him because of his unreasonable behaviour towards me and to all the boys who were playing with me.
I am a person who has been always valued all my relationships and above all, I am not at peace in my mind. Yet, it was difficult for me to INITIATE reconciliation.
The Bible says, “…in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others”.
Truthfully, I didn’t remember this verse at that time but I simply went ahead to talk to that person – CONFRONT with the man and try to INITIATE reconciliation and be in peace.
When I reached their house, I saw him inside his house talking to his wife. I asked him to come out as I have something to talk to. He came out and I asked politely, “Did I do anything wrong to you that you shouted at all and eventually stopped the game we were engrossed with?” He surely was quite uncomfortable when I asked this question to him. He quickly held my hands and said, “No way… you haven’t done anything at all… I am bit stressed and was not in a great mood so got irritated by the noise of the boys playing here in front of my house. I am really sorry… please don’t mind.“
I came back home victoriously and had my food peacefully.
Usually, we feel the urge for reconciliation in our hearts and minds but when it comes to taking the first step, we step back. We always tend to expect the first initiation from the opposite party. The incident that I described above was no way open-ended from both sides. I mean, the man was unaware of my feelings towards him or the relationship we have. For him, everything was fine and closed from his side whereas, I was holding the burning coal in my chest. It was an open sore for me and I needed to rectify it as soon as possible. The process of reconciliation and rebuilding started when I took the first initiation in response to my own need to be at peace. And I know what was the feeling when everything was restored between us and most importantly within myself.
I remember one more verse from the Bible which supports my point: “Leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
Friends! if you want to reconcile with your loved one then take the first step yourself and attempt the process of reconciliation.