A SMILE – IS ENOUGH FOR ME TO KEEP GOING

Getting married, at an early age- not a child marriage though. It was not the time I intended to get married that is what I meant.

It just led me to grapple enough during the initial phases of my life. It was the time when I felt I should give up and drop away most of the time. I was like a fragile age of 21- which was the budding stage of my career. Work, home and marriage were tough to handle, as I never knew what to prioritize.

Anyways, no repent over the spilt milk.

When I was accentuated out, I spoke to friends, finally, when I thought I was crushing them with my silly grievances, I finally found nirvana in music. Lost in the music, it was easier for me to work along. Even when I was exhausted after work, I plugged in my music and did my household works.

For years this went on if I did ever recall.

I was also someone who enjoyed a lousy day, sleeping all day along, watching movies, doing nothing but just munching on every day. Seems I was never a fortunate one to enjoy it, as I was carrying the burdens of expectation beyond my reach. Managing my own dreams was easier than working on others demands.

Seems I was too exhausted, as I was breaking away and finally gave up my job which was either not meeting my expectations or vice versa.

Then came the blessed moments of my life, which I attribute as the best of my innings and truly the reason that I am happier in my life. Thinking about it buds a smile on me. Indeed the driving force in my life.

When I became a mother, there was a transformation in me, something beyond my expectations. I started to keep myself second in the queues or preferably last and considered to meet the needs of my child first and then the rest and finally me (which never happened though). Motherhood indeed steps us into a different world.  A world beyond imagination – as the feel was tremendous. I was someone like a career-oriented one who focused on winning. But with my little one in my arms, I wanted to just win her smile. Nothing else ever mattered me then.

Life is much easier when you are doing every bit of it yourself than expecting someone else to come into the picture.

It is the only thought I follow when I am lost in the countless number of responsibilities I have to carry on, in a day.

I am no different, as compared to any other mother in the world. I believe the rest do better than me always. The earlier years of my life taught me many things, that led me to handle this current line of responsibilities.

I fall and mend myself 

Like a baby learning to crawl and walk, I try and fall quite a number of times with none to pick me up when I fall off. I just pick myself up and push harder to reach my tasks.

My day begins in the early hours of the morning, as my kids are off to school by 7. It is quite early and I usually crib a lot in the morning, as the timings don’t let my kids sleep well. I have to cook her lunch and breakfast. Even though I can liberally choose simple ones, I don’t want to lose the taste of our Keralite dishes, which I savoured in my childhood.

I wake up by 5: 30, then either go for a walk or just idle around with a cup of tea in my hand with all things mounted on my stove. Call me a bad mom or irresponsible, I just taught my daughter who is hardly 8 years to dress up on her own. She does everything on her own- hence I am a proud mother.

Call it my lack of time management too- as I cannot dress her up, when I am in the kitchen. Thanks to her, as she helped me by doing her best for me.

Once all the lunch boxes are packed, and my kids and husband are off to school and office. It is my time.

I just clean up, my kitchen, and pending washing, simultaneously logging in to my work. Bein a work-from-home mother, I am privileged to do work in the comfort of my home. Thanks to all those who trust and assure work to me. It is great to ideally financially independent – that truly makes you feel great.

Another advantage I enjoy is the considerable amount of time, I can spend with my loving kids. It is the only pleasure I want to cherish until death. I work, do all my reading etc. the researching part of my content writer work before my kids arrive.

By evening time, I make something for kids and make them sit with me to finish their work, along with my work. As work is important- I can’t ignore that responsibility. As the day ends, I cook the hot dinner for my family and enjoy the bliss of togetherness on the dining table, where we enjoy the days’ joy, sharing what all we did the whole day.

In between all these, when I am struck with the lightning of thoughts, that are overflowing me- I just pen it down in my blogs. It gives me tremendous pleasure to share my thoughts through my writings.

Call me selfish

All day, even am burdened with responsibilities, I truly treasure my family. I just do everything I can without anyone around offering me help, as it is my happiness.

A joy that keeps me going is the smile of my kids and their happiness. 

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