I AM LOOKING THE WAY I AM!

Yes, I’m dark and skinny! What’s wrong? Am I in the place of God that I will change the colour of my skin and the structure of my body!

Recently, my cab driver shares with me his problem. Though he is a married young man having a kid yet his struggle is “Body Shamming”! Throughout the ride, he shared how he is always discriminated against and become the joke in his peer group, just because he is a little skinny. He said, “Though I earn hefty and having a beautiful wife and kid yet I’m not happy! I feel like I’m not complete. But what can I do? How can I change my physical structure?”

One of the lowest cost and heavily profitable businesses in Urban India is “Salons, Spas & Gym”. Almost 80% urbanite visit to a Spa or to a Beauty Salon on every weekend and 92% young people between 16-35yr, at least spend 2 hrs at Gym daily. It is good to stay healthy and fit but today our talk has gone little ahead – You need to look glamorous and acceptable or else get ready to be squared!

People are mostly replaced and mocked because of their physical structure and look. It always reminds me of a particular man from my hometown. Recently, I met him on the street and greeted him and in response, he said, “Your tummy is coming out!” It is okay to ignore such a comment or take it positively at once or twice but how to tolerate when every other time someone will bump on you to talk about your look. I remember last year we were in a conference and the same man commented on my look, while we were having coffee in a group with a few other friends.

How to deal with such people???

Do you know every human being has the birthright of freedom to think and speak? There is no power under the heaven and on earth to put barriers to someone’s thought. So, let’s make a wise deal, as I cannot change someone’s thinking let me not spoil my own peace by putting my nose into filthy talks.Giving a nice plastic smile and keeping safety measure can be a nice option!

But how to deal with body shaming when you face it with the family and friends???

Imagine! You are in a family gathering and your cousins will taunt you “hum khate pitte ghar ke hain” (we are from a well-nourished family). Yes, it is good to be a foodie but why to jeer someone and tag yourself foodie just because your cousin is too skinny!

Among your friends, you were singled out because you are not handsome and fashionable! Even at times knowingly people will ignore you in the public gathering because you won’t look the way they want you to look like.

Though some people are educated and of noble character yet they face rejection during matchmaking just because their skin colour and body structure are different!   

Everything that comes from the outside never spoils us rather it is what springs from inside of us defiles us. When we face body shame it never defiles our joy and peace rather when we start pondering on those catcalls then we start feeling ashamed on our looks.

I remember one night while returning home at night 10 o’ clock my bus banged on another bus and we all passengers were stranded in the middle of a jungle. After a long wait for a lift to the next bus stop, a cab came and immediately four fat people pulled me aside and jumped into the car. At split of a second the back seat was full and in the front, there was already a man along with the cab driver. Again another fat man pulled me aside asking the driver for a lift but the driver denied him and offered me that seat because I was the only thin person to adjust in there. So, the people skinny like me should not feel discouraged; be optimistic, it is only we skinny people who can easily travel in half-seats.

It was January 2017 on a winter night I was on the bus and was very angry with God. Grumbling at Him, “Why He has created me like this skinny and dark? How beautiful it would be if I would be a little fair and of good health?” As we were waiting for the green light to show up, I saw a very beautiful girl, looks like a professional climbed the steps of the bus struggling to balance herself with the support of a crutch. I was dumbfounded as tears rolled from my eyes and I asked God for forgiveness!

The Bible says,

So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them.

God is the creator of mankind and He had uniquely created us!

Uniqueness doesn’t mean we need to fashion and look like a celebrity rather we need to realize – “we are created as the celebrity of our life’s destiny and there is no one second to it!” Secondly, we need to understand when God has created each of us uniquely that means we all hold a stark difference between each other and this difference is not to grumble with self, murmur about God and keep shaming others rather it is to enjoy the beauty & unity with our diverse look!

Don’t shame! Don’t feel ashamed!

YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL, JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

Avinash Das

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5 thoughts on “I AM LOOKING THE WAY I AM!

    1. We all desire to do self-appreciation but it has many possibilities of being obsessed of it! And obsession always blinds us and makes deaf to wise counsel. So, let us never allow self-appreciation to become the obsession of our life!

      This article speaks how to deal with the problem of BODY SHAME, wisely! The conclusion is very clear to the core why we need to love the way we look but it never speaks about Self appreciation rather it talks about being satisfied of the way we are created by God.
      Self appreciation is very dangerous in terms of being obsessed with it and always keeps our ears shut to wise counsel.

      Like

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