Let me start this time by reading a page from my life which makes me feel to this day that I should have acted before reacting.
I kept my best friend at bay, didn’t speake to her for years, didn’t invite her to my marriage and held a huge grudge for years before the distance between us finally rounded off to zero. But what instigated me to take a U-turn in our relationship? That’s because I chose to listen and believe the banter of one my team-mate who happens to be on our common contact list (just an acquaintance now) against my best friend. She made me believe that my friend did back bitch about me and my ways. I was taken aback and was furious within. “How could she?” Was my reaction. I was still cordial with my friend but started distancing myself from her.
All those years I kept asking myself “why she chose to spill the beans before a third-party instead of me“, “why did she hide from me what she felt?” But the problem was not her action (which perhaps was never there) but my reaction. I was so quick to react, taking that gossip as a gospel truth and unable to realise that whatever I am accusing her to be guilty of is my problem too. I kept things to me instead of clarifying them then and there.
Our preconceived notions, self-absorbed nature and lack of patience to deal with the situation make us react than to make us realise or perhaps realise quite late. We run for instant remedies and ignore the solutions. In the aforesaid situation, I distanced myself as a remedy to avoid further murky altercations in our relationship whereas the solution lied in the discussion which I did years later.
The crux of the problem lies in “We Take Ourselves Too Seriously” that we instantly believe that we can’t go wrong anywhere. And when an opinion/statement/ an action is in contrast to our notions, we react without realising. We are on a constant run to figure out “How could they rather than thinking Why they have”. We are on the verge of losing our ability to accept the difference, to discuss (Not argue). We are an impatient lot wanting things to be said and done our way! Accept it.
Mine was a subtle example though where I was not patient enough to give a second thought (on contrary patient enough to nurse a grudge🙈) but the increasing number of road rage killings, abusive trolls on social media platform, for that matter increasing divorce cases (not referring or supporting to domestic violence) are a mirror to the depletion of patience and thinking abilities of human race. Because we started believing “Give it back then and there, don’t waste time for it’s about OUR prestige“.
Just think once –
“Do React For We Are Human,
But Think Before Reacting For We Are Human”.