I wish I had more than 24 hours in a day.
I wish I had the power to change a person’s perspective.
I wish I had the power to eradicate poverty from the world.
I wish… O I so wish…
These wishes never end. If all of us had a genie who could fulfill unlimited wishes for each of us, I think that genie would be the most exhausted soul in the world. With all the maturity that I gained through the experience of years – I wish for two superpowers. Probably if I were to write this article a year later, my wishes would be different but today it is so…
The superpower no. 1 – To know the difference between what I can influence and what I cannot
There is a prayer which is my favorite – “Lord, grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, grant me the courage to change what I can and wisdom to know the difference between the two.
I have spent a large part of my life wondering what people think of me and how they like me. And if they don’t like me, what can I do to change that? It is horrible but I was deeply influenced by how I am constantly judged by people. Imagine, what happened – disaster. I became my last priority and my first priority was to keep people happy and fulfill their expectations. Well, it took time, a few blows on the face and a lot of pain to realize that I have no control over what people feel for me. I cannot control how they judge me and so I have to stop worrying about it.
What is in my control is what I feel for myself and how I feel about the world. I can choose what to do with my 24 hours a day. I can choose who to be friends with and who to ignore. I can choose a million things in my life. But at the same time – not the whole world is under my control. When we lost my youngest brother in law (husband’s youngest brother), how I wished I could reduce the pain the whole family was going through. All of us wished to go back in time and make things right so that this death would not happen. But life doesn’t work that way. I learnt that Death is the ultimate truth and there is absolutely no influence over it. I realized that I can share the pain of my family but I cannot reduce it. I cannot take the pain away from my husband. He and his parents have to go through it and all that is in my control is to be with them in the journey.
A lot of times we end up running after things that we have no influence over without realizing that we are only wasting our time. All I wish is to have the wisdom to know what I need to accept and what I must struggle to change. Life would be way simpler then.
The superpower no. 2 – Strength to embrace pain
Any human being that I consider successful (in whatever field) is successful because he/she has gone through tremendous pain and struggle to get there. In fact, more the pain better is the outcome. We define success only when we face failures. Our failures define us not our success. A child who is born with all the riches has a completely different definition of success than his father who spent his entire life building up those riches.
Naturally, we all try to avoid pain whether it is emotional or physical. We have the plethora of painkillers to kill the physical pain and we happily take it without seeking the root cause of that pain. To escape the emotional pain we again have a number of killers that differ from person to person. Some people dissolve the pain in alcohol and other forms of abuse, there are people who resort to one night stands and flings, few more who resort to other addictions like shopping, makeovers etc. All this to forget and escape the pain inside. When we try to run away from the pain, we also run away from an opportunity. An opportunity to come out stronger. Feel the pain and cry out the loudest and only then you will get the strength to rise the highest.
I have had my own painkillers and I abused them in various ways which even messed up my life to a large extent. I wish to have the strength so that I never resort to my painkillers. I instead bear the pain, go deeper inside me to figure out the root cause of the pain, understand my pain, live the pain and then eventually emerge a stronger and better person.