Me: Mom why are you upset?
Mom: They didn’t invite me for their son’s wedding .
Me: Who? Whose son’s wedding?
Mom: My aunt’s third cousin who is herself second cousin to my mother. They didn’t invite me ☹.
Me: Mom when was the last time you met them or called them?
A silence ensues ….
Me: Ages right? Then how does it matter mom?
But frown continues till it acquires the shape of grudge which finally creates a unsaillable rift between relations and people.
Well this was an imaginary example on my part but one cannot rule out the presence of such instances in our lives – in our families and around us. We often see people complaining about such trivial issues like they didn’t call me, they didn’t invite me, they didn’t greet me….. it continues. We tag so much of importance to “ME “. We seek validation for ourselves from others . If they don’t pay attention to us our Ego gets hurt. In simple words we complicate, rather enjoy complicating things.
I have been in that spot quite a few times. I remember me asking my father why we should invite those people to my marriage who never cared to enquire about us in our hardships. To this he said ” that was their call but we can share our happiness, it would only multiply. And moreover why give a chance to someone to pinpoint at us ” though I was not fully convinced at that time but was amused how he simplified things without holding any grudge and perhaps that was the reason for his peaceful demeanour. I never saw him murmuring with agony or gossiping with jealousy or heard a bitter word against anyone. What I always saw was a never-fading smile.
And that’s what I learnt from him : let’s keep things simple. You yourself are nothing in this vast cosmos then what is this pride and ego about? Never let your actions be reaction to others’ actions. Just keep doing what is right.
And I firmly believe this is his legacy to us – me and my brother. And this is what I want to extend to my kids. I do falter many a times but it simply means that I am trying, right?
You know one of the best compliments that I got from someone really close after a series of misunderstandings “I know that you will be the last person on earth to hold a grudge against anyone” . That really inspired me to trend that path relentlessly.
Last word: As it is there are so many complications we are living in, be it the dreadful climate changes or serious economic issues or horrendous policies of Donald Trump, can’t we keep our thoughts straight and simple? Remember our self-esteem and respect is not bound to few courtesy calls of namesake. Do give umpteen number of chances before you call it quits but never ever let your peace of mind go for a toss. That’s Essential.