​HELD IN MEMORIES

Whenever I see a graveyard or visit one it fills me with melancholy, certain sadness, a feeling of desolation. Although, I have happily eaten stolen litchees in a graveyard under a moonlit sky, the graveyard always reminds me of the ultimate truth of life, death.  We all will die one day and no matter how rich or famous we become, how many medals we win, how well or bad we act, we end up as dust.

All that remains are memories, may be few lines on an epitaph, or if we are lucky enough, our being gets etched in the hearts of the people we have been able to impact in a special way. When I reach my end in this beautiful world I would like to be remembered in a certain way even though saying this is futile since as people, we tend to forget with time.

I want to be remembered as a good son. I don’t know how much of it I have been able to achieve it yet. I know my mom thinks I’m not so bad but my father is a little hard to please. We have come a long way but even then he always gives me a feeling I have lots to do before I impress him. I sincerely wish that they see me as a loving son, a son who had his faults, but had his heart at the right place.

I want to be remembered as an amicable friend; a friend who was always ready to have a deep conversation over a cup of tea, or join for an aimless walk towards nowhere;  a friend who was never too tired for a game of football and was always willing to join for a game; a friend who forgave and forgot instead of hanging on to petty differences; a friend who tried his best to accept the other as he or she is; a friend who always lent an ear and tried not to judge.

The above is how I want to be remembered as a son and a friend. As a person I want to be remembered as someone who loved the natural surroundings more than man-made wonders, as someone who enjoyed the simple joys of life and had a carefree soul, as someone who believed that people can still be good in this unforgiving world, as someone who held on to hope even in despair and darkness, as someone who tried to fulfill his dreams without being inconsiderate. And when I become a teacher, I wish that my students would remember me as their mentor and guide, as someone who understood them.

I don’t know if I will become all that I want to be remembered as.  My flaws would be enough for some. We can’t please everyone. I have a long way to go to be deserving of the legacy I have painted for myself. I know I will always try.

LET’S KEEP IT SIMPLE

Me: Mom why are you upset?

Mom: They didn’t invite me for their son’s wedding .

Me: Who? Whose son’s wedding?

Mom: My aunt’s third cousin who is herself second cousin to my mother.  They didn’t invite me ☹.

Me:  Mom when was the last time you met them or called them?

A silence ensues ….

Me: Ages right? Then how does it matter mom?

But frown continues till it acquires the shape of grudge which finally creates a unsaillable rift between relations and people.

Well this was an imaginary example on my part but one cannot rule out the presence of such instances in our lives – in our families and around us.  We often see people complaining about such trivial issues like they didn’t call me, they didn’t invite me, they didn’t greet me….. it continues. We tag so much of importance to “ME “. We seek validation for ourselves from others .  If they don’t pay attention to us our Ego gets hurt. In simple words we complicate, rather enjoy complicating things.

I have been in that spot quite a few times.  I remember me asking my father why we should invite those people to my marriage who never cared to enquire about us in our hardships.  To this he said ” that was their call but we can share our happiness, it would only multiply.  And moreover why give a chance to someone to pinpoint at us ” though I was not fully convinced at that time but was  amused how he simplified things without holding any grudge and perhaps that was the reason for his peaceful demeanour.  I never saw him murmuring with agony or gossiping with jealousy or heard a bitter word against anyone.  What I always saw was a never-fading smile.

And that’s what I learnt from him : let’s keep things simple. You yourself are nothing in this vast cosmos then what is this pride and ego about?  Never let your actions be reaction to others’ actions.  Just keep doing what is right.

And I firmly believe this is his legacy to us – me and my brother. And this is what I want to extend to my kids. I do falter many a times but it simply means that I am trying, right?

You know one of the best compliments that I got from someone really close after a series of misunderstandings “I know that you will be the last person  on earth to hold a grudge against anyone” .  That really inspired me to trend that path relentlessly.

Last word: As it is there are  so many complications we are living in, be it the dreadful climate changes or serious economic issues  or horrendous policies of Donald Trump, can’t we keep our thoughts straight and simple? Remember our self-esteem and respect is not bound to few courtesy calls of namesake.  Do give umpteen number of chances before you call it quits but never ever let your peace of mind go for a toss.  That’s Essential.