Long time back (9 years to be precise) while being in the course called “Landmark Education”, I declared myself a possibility of love, commitment and inspiration. And when I made that declaration on stage in a room full of people, I remember I was in tears because the moment was so very overwhelming for me. When I was asked to write on this topic 2 days back – the first thought that came to my mind was about the possibility that I declared myself to be. Am I still living it? I don’t know.
Well, what was running in my mind when I made the declaration? At that moment I think I was the best version of me. I have never been more energetic, positive and motivated than I was at that moment. I want to be known for the energy I have to keep my commitments; I want to be known for the work I do because that would be truly inspirational; I want to be known to unconditionally love my loved ones. Quite ambitious for a 24 year old that I was at that time!!
How far am I from the vision that I had for myself? I think only people in my life can be the right judge but if I have to look at myself – I don’t think I am at all closer to my vision. I have all the reasons in the world for not being my possibility but at the end of the day, it doesn’t change the reality. If I were to die today (God forbid), I don’t think I would be satisfied at all. There is a lot to be done and a lot to achieve. And everybody wants to be kissed by the darkness of death only when they are satisfied that they have lived their lives fully – with failures, happiness, regrets, achievements etc.
Why am I not an ounce closer to be my possibilities? Maybe because I am too busy with nitty-gritties of life. I miss the bigger picture. I miss to see that life has to offer much beyond regular work, hard deadlines, occasional parties, bringing up a good kid in the world and keeping your family together. There are bigger problems waiting in the wide world and somebody needs to take ownership of those. Somebody needs to pick up the problems of the world and not just their own families.
I asked myself a simple question – while browsing Facebook if I see a friend’s pictures at Maldives at the perfect location with a perfect partner, would I feel inspired or jealous? While browsing more through the news feed, what would I feel when I see a person’s article on his successful attempt at rescuing small children from human trafficking? Would I feel inspired or jealous? Answer is clear for me. Pictures of my friend probably would make me envious (if not jealous) and that of the social worker would make me feel really inspired. What are my Facebook posts all about? Do I post something that inspires people and they say – “Wow, this girl is up to change the world for good?” or do they think, “Yet another person busy taking international vacation. I wish I could go there.”
All of us must have a vision for ourselves and create a plan to make that vision a reality. Facebook posts is one such example of doing a reality check – there could be many more. Each one of us wants to leave something behind. With the digital world it is even easier – your Facebook/Instagram posts would always be there stored safely in some server in some corner of the world (hopefully). Your children, grand-children and great-grand-children could also access it someday and say something great or trivial about you. The choice is yours to make the right choice today.
In the last 9 years of my life (since the time I made that declaration), I have done little in my life to move steadily towards being that possibility. I am glad that I get a chance to write for Candles through which I recreate my vision for myself while re-declaring the same.
So here it goes – “Who am I is the possibility of Love, Commitment and Inspiration. So, today again I give up all the dialogues in my head to be this possibility”.