THE HOLLOW FEELING

Till last year, I kept wondering how strong are those women who handle long distance relationship with their husbands…living alone, managing work, kids and chores. And, life gave me a good experience of one whole year to hone my skills of living that way.

Although I was lucky to be in joint family with supportive in-laws, there was a lot to do. My husband kept calling me ‘sherni’ (lioness) to boost me up. Yeah, “there are many great women who live alone and manage everything on their own”, I kept telling myself and so kept trying myself to be a perfectionist, but failed terribly.

With frequent backaches, almost once a week a bout of migraine and  feeling physically weak, I was getting emotionally drained too, which resulted in my tetchy mood and hence I kept losing my temper on my sons, because that’s the easiest way to do. And, at the end of the day, I would go to bed with full of regret for yelling at my kids. I wanted to just run away from the situation, but I kept telling myself the ‘situation will change’.

On a positive note, I had become an online shopping pro, just because I wasn’t able to go out shopping with my kids. I had the experience of travelling alone, with my naughty sons, by air and rail as well. Phew (Somebody give me a reward for that)!

However, thanks to my work friends with whom I could talk endlessly and enjoy laughing out loud in their company as well.  I witnessed how difficult life gets at some point or the other. I realised that no one else is responsible for your happiness and emotions, except you, yourself. So, I started enjoying with my kids, listening to music, even singing and dancing with them. Though I still get frustrated at times and yell at my kids, my six year old makes sure I calm down by saying silly things and asking me to kiss him every time he doesn’t listen!

I guess when one is emotionally drained out, the physical strength inside the body also drains out, because it’s all in the mind. If you are emotionally exhausted, you feel feeble and out of energy. The solution- look for everything that makes you happy, be with everyone who give you positivity and happiness. And, keep the faith!

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