I do not know how many of you follow politics, most of the conversations in and out of the House of Parliament now a days have foul language. Using Fu, Bas, Bit* etc., has become normal. Heard of Gordan Ramsay or watched his cookery shows? They are full of beeps, in fact more beeps than words. He is considered one of the best chef’s but his language isn’t any close to even good. He runs into foul-mouthed arguments with contestants over petty things. It is a family show which kids can watch too (I thought that was the intent when the production started) but even adults take some time to get adjusted to it.
The very first encounter with foul words I could remember brought a laughter.
Few years ago, I created my Facebook account. Yes, the well loved social network where people share most about them and spend most of their time with. As you can guess I was one of the late adopters of Facebook. When I signed up, I gave my first name and in the second name column I gave a series of asterisks. Naturally I forgot about that account for few days. Couple of weeks later, one of my cousins called me to check if the account he came across was mine. I told him that I created one a week ago, he screamed at me and said, remove the asterisks from your name, that can give a very dirty impression of you. “What’s dirty in that? The tool wasn’t allowing me to use an exclamation mark“, I said in a casual tone. I had no idea he was serious, was under the impression that he was pulling my legs… Later on he told me to find out the meaning myself, who else would help but Google 😁
After spending some time on the internet, got a gist of what that means… Symbols can be used for such bad meanings, really wasn’t aware of this.
There is a proverb in my native language, an English translation of it would be, “If your husband calls you bitch, even the beggar would call you so“
I have listened people using this proverb many times, but bad words for me are only restricted up to proverbs. They are used to convey stronger meanings to have an impact. I have never heard abusive conversations or usage of foul language either in my family or in my locality. It is true that I have not known such language until few years ago..
As I stepped into the real world, I realized it is quite common for people to use such language and a lot of them consider it to be cool… Anger, frustration are mainly the causes, strangely the other times it’s the closeness and love. Really? One must be sorry to be calling their friend bitch.
What does it take to be called a bitch in real sense? For a woman it’s an extreme insult, no matter whatever the reason is, nobody has any right to say so. Having faced such name-calling, I cried my heart out, months of sleeplessness, as such I couldn’t forget it till date. When I was branded a bitch there wasn’t a reaction in me, I stood still like a rock, unable to move.
The other person isn’t any stranger, I have known him for over a decade, cared for him the most. I have never even had the slightest of guess that he would insult me before so many people. Few days later he said it was his love that made him say so. Well, if that is what is love, I am sure nobody would want it. Can the use offensive names to win an argument be justified in the name of love? I never responded to him, or would want to anytime in future. I can never degrade myself to use such language even if I was deceived or hurt brutally.
Many think usage of these “cool” words makes their version of argument heard, attracts attention of the audiences. I would shut myself off from such conversations, let it make me look arrogant. Let alone uttering those words, I find it very inconvenient even to listen.
I won’t say people who use that language are bad, they may be very good, but to be able to make meaningful, rich and loving relationships it is important to use respectful language. When we are good at heart, why don’t we try to use the best words our language has to offer to address beautiful people who make us happy and make our life a boon?