When you say foul words to another – you are only expecting the other person to die while you drink the poison yourself.

It is true. When foul words are spoken, something dies inside the person who speaks them.

I belong to a family where speaking anything foul was highly discouraged. And I grew up to be very strong in that perspective probably to a fault. If I watch a movie that has a lot of bad words – I begin to get a headache and I really feel depressed. My husband often says – that I should learn to handle foul speech. What if someday I have to work with a person who is foul speaker, would I want to run away or deal with him? Well, I don’t know. But it is a reality that I cannot handle abuses. If somebody speaks bad to me, I usually just end the argument in whatever way I can. But his/her language really impacts my well-being.

When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I noticed that it was quite a fashion for girls to speak out the rough abuses which are usually a normal language for boys. There were some of my ‘so called’ friends who would just speak out bad abuses for no reason and sometimes just for fun. I never found it funny in fact I found it quite weird. Why would anybody want to do that? Is there a shortage of words in our language that people want to resort such a hard language.

There is a movie “Taare Zameen Par” an Indian movie featuring Aamir Khan. He tells a short story of Solomon Island in the movies which goes this way – When people of this island want to clear a particularly land of trees they don’t cut the tree directly. They surround the tree and hold hands. Then they start throwing abuses at the tree. They say the worst things ever to the tree and thereby cursing it. And eventually the tree dies. When I heard this story it got me thinking. Does a tree have ears? Does it have a brain to process the words thrown at it? No, right. Then how is it possible. It is possible because language has energy. Language creates our reality. It can be extremely positive or very negative. Language impacts the existing energy of the area. Try standing in a room and start uttering all the possible abuses that you know of. Sit down in the same room for a while – how is your mood? Do the opposite, stand in a room and say all the positive things – does it make a difference to your mood or can you sense a difference in energy of the room.

Language makes things possible. When you say Thank You or Please, it creates a reality for the other person who is now connected to you in a positive way. When you say foul words, it creates a reality of dislike or hatred which are intense negative feelings. Not only does the listener gets impacted by  our language but also the speaker gets immensely impacted.

So, be careful when choosing your words. Can you use positive words or happy words. If that is not possible – then choose the most neutral language that suits the situation.