A Case Study
I have been in an unhappy marriage for five years now. My husband has been cheating on me since one year. Initially he did try to hide his transgressions by lying about his whereabouts. Our altercations hit high charts and eventually he admitted to cheating on me.
Why and how did this happen? Where did I go wrong? Will our marriage ever work?
I have been contemplating over these questions ever since, trying to rationalize my husband’s indiscretions. Being a student of science my first approach to any problem that knocks, is to go for a root cause analysis. And look what it reveals!
My husband might have been dishonest for a year, but I have been disingenuous since the commencement of our marriage. I have always pretended to relinquish his behavior and prevaricate through the situations. Our arguments have been the result of frustrations due to lack of communication.
So what are the primary reasons for lying and cheating in a relationship? If lying is fabricating the truth, cheating is deceiving the essence of the relationship and straying away. We all try to escape from boredom and lingering circumstances. Are fibbing and infidelity the actual solutions to this issue?
Most people fail to understand that being dishonest and committing adultery are just one of the options to escape situations. How about engaging in fruitful activities or actually addressing the matter with your significant other.
Digging deeper does unveil factors like lack of experience in a committed relationship could be one of the reasons for being mendacious. Sometimes the partner doesn’t understand the consequences of being deceptive. A feeling of insecurity owing to age, money, smartness or physical attributes is also linked to cheating. In such cases seeking external validation becomes more important than confronting the matter at hand. Another reason could be unrealistic whims and fancies of a partner that might lead to dissatisfaction, resulting in unfaithful behavior. Also succumbing to limerence and impulsive attractions leads to oversight of a meaningful connection.
As we skim through the reasons of indiscretions, we can find zillions of them. Regardless of the actual causes of cheating, there are always options available on grabs, like couple counselling, taking up hobbies and an honest discussion with your partner.
I hope the articles which are going to be published subsequently throughout the week might throw some more light on the various reasons of lying and cheating in relationships. But to conclude, always remember that you always have a choice to not lie and cheat, than to compromise your integrity and give up on a meant to be relationship.